A Spouse Is Not Needed To Reach Your Full Potential

by Yvonne Chase on June 22, 2017

Grow With And Be Better
Can you reach your full potential as a person if you never marry?” Cody, one of the husbands on the current season of Married At First Sight doesn’t think you can.  He says, “I don’t think you can fully reach your potential as a person until you find a partner who you can grow with and be better with.” Actor Hill Harper agrees with him…

potential
Make A Relationship Work
Here’s a bit of back story on Cody and Danielle. Danielle is older than Cody and has more relationship experience. She believes she knows what it takes to make a relationship work. Just because you have more experience in an area, doesn’t mean you have what it takes. In addition, Danielle has an expectation of how a man should act based on her past experiences.

Steps Up And Takes Charge
Cody is not meeting her expectation. He’s a tad bit too slow moving and laid back for her taste. She wants someone who steps up and takes charge like the men from her past. Cody is not her past. Danielle needs to let go of her past and let Cody be. Who he is might be just what she needs to have the relationship she wants. 

Asking Far Too Much
In his book, The Meaning Of Marriage, author Timothy Keller along with his wife Kathy Heller of over thirty-seven years says, “Simply put–today, people are asking far too much in the marriage partner.” Here’s more of what he says:

Both men and women today want a marriage in which they can receive emotional and sexual satisfaction from someone who will simply let them, “be themselves.” They want a spouse who is fun, intellectually stimulating, sexually attractive, with many common interests, and who, on top of it all, is supportive of their personal goals and of the way they are living now.

And if your desire is for a spouse who will not demand a lot of change from you, then you are also looking for a spouse who is almost completely pulled together, someone very “low maintenance” without much in the way of personal problems. You are looking for someone who will not require or demand significant change. 

You are searching, therefore, for an ideal person–happy, healthy, interesting, content with life.  Never before in history has there been a society filled with people so idealistic in what they are seeking in a spouse. In generations past, there was far less talk about “compatibility” and finding the ideal mate. 

Today, we are looking for someone who accepts us as we are and fulfills our desires, and this creates an unrealistic set of expectations that frustrates both the searchers and the searched for. 

Exhaustive Laundry List
Ain’t that the truth! I talk to single people from sun up to sun down. Many have an exhaustive laundry list of how they want their person to be and how they want their relationship to look. The kicker is they are lacking much of the skill needed to create the kind of relationship they want and many definitely don’t match 1/4 of their laundry list.

Reach Our Full Potential
Nothing wrong with wanting what we want, however, if wanting what we want eliminates someone who could very well be perfectly suited for us like I believe Cody is for Danielle, then wanting what we want becomes a problem. We are all flawed human beings. None of us will ever have it all together. The best relationships will press our buttons. Having our buttons pressed is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s how we grow, evolve and reach our full potential. Here’s more of what Tim says on this matter;

When two Christians stand before the minister all decked out in their wedding finery, they realize they’re not just playing dress-up. What they’re saying is that someday they are going to be standing not before the minister but before the Lord. And they will turn to see each other without spot and blemish. And they hope to hear God say, “Well done, good and faithful servants. Over the years you have lifted one another up to me. You sacrificed for one another. You held one another up with prayer and with thanksgiving. You confronted each other. You rebuked each other. You hugged and you loved each other and continually pushed each other towards me. And now look at you, you’re radiant.”

In light of this, can we reach our full potential if we never marry?

She, Too, Reaches Her Full Potential
Absolutely but let me say this; I do understand the sentiments from Cody and Hill. Genesis 2:24 boldly says, “It’s not good for man to be alone. I will make him a suitable helper.” That suitable helper was a woman created to help him reach his full potential. As a woman helps a man reach his full potential, she too reaches her full potential. But guess what, every man will not marry and every woman will not marry. That’s just the way it is. 

Confront And Rebuke
With that said, God has the master plan for our lives. We will always reach our full potential with him on board. While we may not have a spouse to confront and rebuke us, God is fully capable of getting us to our full potential through life circumstances. While husbands and wives have each other to help them reach their full potential, both still need to rely on God, no different than a single person. God is the plug and the major key to each of us, whether single or married, reaching our full potential. With his help, I will reach my full potential. What about you?

potential
Something to think about…

What say you? Can a man, specifically, reach his full potential if he never marries? Are we more idealistic today in what we are seeking in a spouse? Was there far less talk about compatibility and finding the right mate in generations past?

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

1. Leave a comment below

2. Share this post if you like it

{ 3 comments }

Kevin Durant Moved On To Get A Ring And So Should You Single Lady

by Yvonne Chase

Rooting For Kevin Durant I love basketball especially, the finals, the NBA playoffs. I was all up in the TV last night rooting for the Golden State Warriors and rooting for Kevin Durant to get his ring. Friday night a girlfriend and I stepped out to watch the game at a sports bar and we […]

Read the full article →

Faithful Are The Wounds Of A Friend Who Corrects

by Yvonne Chase

“If you’re watching a friend head to the altar with someone awful, do you step in?” Pretend All Is Well That was the question posed by the New York Post on Twitter. My response was, yes, if I know about it. Sometimes you don’t know until after. Been there. People pretend all is well when it […]

Read the full article →

DNA Does Not Guarantee A Wedding Invitation

by Yvonne Chase

Checking It Twice Wedding season is upon us. Brides and grooms are making their guests lists and checking it twice to make sure they include DNA aka family members and to make sure they didn’t forget anyone. They’re also looking at it closely to see which names they can cut to keep the guest list from […]

Read the full article →

Change Your Last Name To His Last Name When You Say I Do

by Yvonne Chase

Change Her Last Name Do you think it’s necessary for a woman to change her last name? That was the question posed on Twitter by Married At First Sight. One of the participants Ashley is not on board with changing her last name. While she likes her husband’s last name, she also likes her last […]

Read the full article →

Differences Are A Gift To Our Relationship If We Handle Them With Care

by Yvonne Chase

Enhance Our Relationships People who get into relationships then get upset at their person for being different make me wonder about their relationship readiness. What did you expect? People make the world go round. It is our uniqueness that makes life interesting. It is our individual ways of being and our differences that enhance our relationships.  […]

Read the full article →

Divorced People Need Love Too But I Don’t Know If You Should Marry One

by Yvonne Chase

A Deep Place Of Worship Today I woke up early and couldn’t go back to sleep. This doesn’t happen often, however, when it does, I usually reach for my phone to listen to a sermon from my pastor or a podcast from Focus On The Family or Family Talk. When I picked up my phone, there […]

Read the full article →

He’s Your Son Not Your Surrogate Husband

by Yvonne Chase

The Stroke Of Midnight It was New Year’s Eve and I was sitting in the pew waiting for service to start. Down my row to the right was a handsome man and a gorgeous woman locked arm in arm. There was a level of intimacy between them that was very sweet. I thought for sure […]

Read the full article →

Christians Do Not Belong On Married At First Sight

by Yvonne Chase

All In When the TV show Married At First Sight premiered five seasons ago, I was all in. To date, season one has been the best season. Two out of three couples are still married and one of those couples is expecting their first child.   Great Way To Be Matched I was so into […]

Read the full article →

Marriage Works Best When The Man Is Older Than The Woman

by Yvonne Chase

Still Want To Be Married Season 5 of Married, At First Sight, premiered this week and I was front and center. The show is exactly as it’s named; two strangers meet at the altar and marry at first sight. Over 40,000 singles signed up for the possibility to be matched and married so for those […]

Read the full article →