Gave Up On Love
I was flipping channels last night when I ran across Coupled; a new matchmaking type shows that follows 12 women looking for love. What stood out to me in the first episode was a beautiful woman who said she gave up on love after being screwed over by a jerk.  There was an instant connection when they met and that led to an exchange of phone numbers and daily talks that led to dates.  She embraced the instant connection because her parents, who are still married, got engaged in an instant after their first meeting. Well, that didn’t happen for her.  Not before long, she found out the jerk was married.

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He’s A Jerk
Because of that unfortunate situation, she questioned herself.  She wondered if something was wrong with her.  She felt she was unlovable.  I screamed at the TV when she said she’s unlovable; you are not unlovable.  There is nothing wrong with you.  He’s a jerk! His jerkish behavior is not your fault and has nothing to do with you whatsoever.  I felt sad for her and wanted to give her a hug.

Blessed To Have Me By His Side
I tweeted my thoughts and one of my followers, @DrKarinAnderson said something I love and agree with wholeheartedly, “If someone is a jerk, it doesn’t mean you’re unlovable.” What’s up with women thinking something is wrong with them when men screw up? It got me to thinking; I have never wondered what is wrong with me or felt unlovable because of a man’s jerkish ways.  I always look at it as his loss.  I am one heck of a woman and any man in his right mind would be blessed to have me by his side.

She Dodged A Bullet
All women need to embrace this way of thinking and being especially when he lies to you and you find out he’s married.  Instead of tearing herself down, she should be ever so grateful that she found out before she was head over heels in love with him! She dodged a bullet.  God protected her by letting her find out early on.  That’s a blessing! 

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Believe Our Own Lies
Navigating the dating scene can be challenging, to say the least.  I was recently invited to a Speed Dating event and I decided to attend because why not? Plus I had a great time when I participated in the past. Well this time around, it was a complete bust. I spoke to one guy then left within fifteen minutes.  I could tell I wasn’t a match for anything; relationship, friendship, business, coffee buddy etc. with any of the guys and I wasn’t interested in having further conversations to confirm what I already knew.  I was happy to pick up take out and head home.  

Why Waste My Time?
A feeling of contentment came over me when I left.  Unlike many singles, I’d rather be alone than sit in a room talking to men I don’t want to know. Nothing was wrong with the men at the event.  They just weren’t for me.  A gentleman left with me and he said, “Why waste my time.  There’s nothing here for me!” Exactly! Why waste time?

The Rest Is Herstory
When all is said and done, none of us knows how, when or where we will meet that special someone.  Some of it is in our control.  Much of it isn’t.  You could sign up to every online dating site known to man and meet no one then randomly meet that special someone in the freezer aisle at Trader Joe’s.  That happened to a friend who is now happily married to the guy she met when she rushed in to pick up a chicken pot pie.  She caught his eye, they struck up a conversation, exchanged numbers and the rest is herstory.

All The Weirdos Hung Out Online
You could also be the person who said you would never try online dating and you decide to try it on a fluke then meet your mate within the first month of signing up.  That happened to a colleague who met his wife online and they just welcomed a set of beautiful twins.  We don’t know how it’s going to happen.  Like I said in this post, many of us are single simply becauseI just haven’t met you yet!” Remember this, just because he’s a jerk, or the speed dating event is a bust or something unfortunate happens, doesn’t mean something is wrong with you.

Something to think about…

What say you? Why do so many women think something is wrong with her when he messes up?

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