Ladies, It’s Okay To Take The Initiative Sometime

by Yvonne Chase on May 21, 2015

Are You Showing Yourself Friendly?
Yesterday I went to catch up with my pastor about an issue he’s been helping me work through.  We talked about it for a minute and  then segued into talking about my involvement at church.  He asked if I had any friends at the church and I said no.  It’s a big church and I’ve only been back a couple of months.  He then said, “Are you showing yourself friendly?” And, of course, we both laughed because he knows I’m a very friendly woman.  

A Man That Has Friends Must Show Himself Friendly
Tonight while watching the crazy play out between Sean and Davina on Married At First Sight, Proverbs 18:24 came to mind which says, “A man that has friends must shew himself friendly.”  They are the only couple out of the three that have not consummated their marriage.  She’s waiting for him to make a move and he’s waiting on inspiration from her to make the move.  She’s had many opportunities to get the flame going.  When he comes in from work, she could greet him with a warm hug and a juicy kiss.  Instead, she asks him hows it going from across the room.  

initiative
I’m Going To Bed
They were sitting in bed one night talking and looking at their wedding album. Perfect time to drape her leg across his or lovingly play with his ear or run her fingers through his silver hair.  There was no closeness between them.  It was just two people sitting in bed looking at a wedding album. When talking was over and he was done looking at the album then realized nothing sexual, romantic or intimate was going down, he pulled the covers up and frustratingly said, “I’m going to bed.”  She got upset, got out of the bed with her phone and went in the other room to watch TV.  

Lovingly Affectionate To Each Other
She said, “How would you feel if you were in bed with a guy and he didn’t even try to touch you?” How does she think Sean feels? Like, this is not all about her! I was sitting in church on Sunday next to a young couple who were lovingly affectionate to each other.  At different times during service, the young lady would rest her hand on her beau’s leg. He’d then reach out and hold her hand and they’d lovingly glance at each other.  I could feel the affection oozing between them.  It was very sweet.  

Reignite The Passion In Your Relationship
While writing this post, an article crossed my path that talked about 4 simple ways to reignite the passion in your relationship. One of those simple ways is touch and make eye contact.  Psychologist Alexandra H. Soloman says, “When couples hold hands, turn toward each other and make eye contact, it’s very difficult to feel disengaged. It just kind of kicks off this whole… physiological process, reminding us who the other person is.  It can kind of get the juices flowing and get couples started on the road to reconnection.”  I believe looking at the wedding album could’ve gone in a totally different direction if Sean and Davina held hands, turned towards each other and made eye contact. 

It’s Okay To Take The Initiative
Listen, if you want romance, you might want to show yourself romantic.  If you want romance, you might want to create a space for romance to flourish.  Jessica and Ryan D consummated their marriage, however, the fighting between them doused the flame.  The spark died and nothing was happening.  After their session with Dr. Levkoff, Jessica took the lead.  Instead of waiting on Ryan to start the fire, she created a very romantic sushi scavenger hunt that ended with an intimate massage. I can bet they had relations that night.  Jessica says, “I realize, it’s okay to take the initiative.  I’m gonna take the initiative.”  High five Jessica.  Davina needs to follow her lead and so do you if you’re not getting what you want and need in your relationship.  

One has to take the initiative in life to achieve what he or she wants.  Donald Johanson

Something to think about… 

What say you? Do you have a problem taking initiative? When is it okay for a woman to take the initiative in her relationship? Why are some women afraid to take initiative?

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