If You Don’t Date, You Won’t Fornicate

by Yvonne Chase on October 16, 2014

Why I Don’t Date
“If you don’t date, you won’t fornicate” is what Pastor Timothy Alden said last night on the Preachers of LA.  I agree with him one hundred percent which is why I don’t date.  Before I get into that, let me tell you a little bit about Tim; he’s a fifty year old virgin who also said, “My sex life is not my priority” and “My life is not defined by finding somebody.” Amen to all of that.

fornicate

Meet, Greet And Gather Information
For those of you not familiar with the definition of fornicate, it means to have sex outside of marriage.  In case you didn’t know, God created sex to be enjoyed within marriage only.  Now back to why I don’t date.  I’ve written extensively about going on dates at this blog.  I will go on a date which for me means a chance to meet, greet and gather information.  I support going on a date.  I don’t support the world’s definition of dating.  For me, its always been either I’m single or married.  Never believed in dating according to what I see going on.  I wrote about that in a recent post.  If we, Christians date the way the world dates, we can’t help but fornicate because none of us is that strong. Been there, done that!

My Life Is Not Defined By Finding Somebody
Thankfully, like Tim, my life is not defined by finding somebody, never has been.  I can’t even begin to tell you how freeing that is.  Over the weekend I had a conversation with an ex who said, “You’ve lived here, there and everywhere and no one has scooped you up yet?” The answer to that question would be no and not because there haven’t been offers.  Just because you want to scoop me up doesn’t mean I want you to scoop me up.  “No” is an effective part of my vocabulary along with the gift of goodbye.  I have no problem walking away from men and situations that are no good for me.  If my life were defined by finding someone, my story would be a lot different.

My Sex Life Is Not My Priority
Also like Tim, my sex life is not my priority, never has been even though I’m not a virgin.  As this ex and I continued to talk, he asked about the last time which was a very long time ago.  When he asked how I’d been able to not let that part of my life consume me, I shared with him something I did many years ago.  I sincerely asked God to take away the desire to fornicate and he did.  It was that simple. Hasn’t happened since I said that prayer.  

Not Up For Discussion
Tim said it right last night, living this Christian single life requires a whole lot of discipline.  I’ve erected some standards in my life that are not up for discussion. I have clear boundaries in place that won’t be crossed.  I say “No” to a man at least four times a week.  I remember having a conversation with a gentleman recently who expressed interest and when I shared my faith with him and told him it was my life, my very existence, that was the last conversation we had.  I’m perfectly okay with all of that.

Not Kissing My Husband Before Our Wedding Day
Like Tim, I hope to meet someone, build a really great friendship, move into courtship and head to the altar where we kiss for the first time when the pastor says, “And now you may kiss the bride.”  I have no desire to kiss my husband before our wedding day.  Not because I’m some legalistic, fanatical Christian. Far from it.  The guy that I mentioned above said  he was shocked to hear my faith was my life because according to him, “You’re so funny, open minded and down to earth.  Talking to you is refreshing.”  What does that say about us Christians? Are we a bunch of serious, close minded people? That’s a conversation for another day.  Back to not kissing my husband before our wedding day.  I’ve never wanted to do that nor have I ever wanted to have a sexual experience with him before our wedding night.

Do Ministry And Life With My Mate
Being introduced to Tim last night gave me hope that the man I envision sharing my life with actually does exist.  I would love nothing more than to wake up every day and do ministry and life with my mate.  While I would love to be married, if I never marry, I’ll be perfectly fine because I have learned to be content no matter the circumstance.  Have you?

Something to think about…

What say you? What do you think about, “If you don’t date, you won’t fornicate?” How do you define date? 

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