Death Puts Life And Relationships In Perspective

by Yvonne Chase on September 21, 2016

Death Puts Life In Perspective
It’s 5:24am and I just opened my inbox to a newsletter that captures the thoughts on my mind; thoughts that have been on my mind ever since I buried my mother on September 12th.  You see, for me, death puts life in perspective.  Death reminds me of the brevity of life and the importance of maximizing every moment.  Here’s a bit of copy from the newsletter:

“Imagine you’re on your deathbed.  This is it.  The end of your life.  You’re not going to see tomorrow or the people you care about.  All you have right now is to look back on how you’ve lived so far.  How do you feel about the life you’ve lived? Do you have regrets? Did you get around to doing everything you wanted to do, or do you have the desperate desire to turn back time and do things differently? Do you have a sense of missing out on the kinds of experiences you would have cherished? And do you feel that you truly connected with the people closest to you? While you don’t have any control over when your last day on Earth may come, you can choose how you will spend the days leading up to it.”

Stuck Like Chuck
I feel good about the life I’ve lived so far.  I’ve done a lot of stepping out and finding out.  I’ve obeyed God and left the consequences to him. My faith meter is high and my worry meter is low to non-existent. Joshua 1:9 is how I live.  While I haven’t done everything I’ve wanted to do, I do not have the desperate desire to turn back time and do things differently.  Do I have regrets? Yes and no.  One of my biggest regrets is selling my car before I moved from California to Atlanta.  I was stuck like Chuck.  You need a car in Atlanta.  Looking back, I know for sure I wasn’t supposed to be in Atlanta.  God used that entire experience to redirect me to where he wanted me to be; NYC a place I vowed to never put down roots again yet it’s the place where I met my love and together we are building a beautiful and very loving relationship.  I’ll tell you more about that in another post.    

People Make The World Go Round
The questions above made me think about my mother.  When she was taken to the ER (emergency room) on August 8th, she thought she’d return home.  We thought she’d return home.  She never did.  In light of my mother’s passing, my approach to life remains the same yet with more urgency. The most important things to me in life are people and relationships.  Nothing else matters.  I go hard for people.  I go hard for relationships.  People and relationships are what make the world go round.  

Focus On Those Who Want To Get Along
At this juncture in my life, I’m interested in cultivating deeply connected relationships with those that are interested.  No more time to beat dead horses.  My mother used to say, “There are people who want to get along with you and there are others that don’t no matter how hard you try. Focus on those who want to get along with you.”

The Rest Is History
During my mother’s hospital stay, I met her roommate Grace; a lovely woman with a gorgeous head of the thickest and healthiest gray hair I’d ever seen.  I prayed with her the first night we met and the rest is history.  Before my mother changed rooms, she asked for my number; said she wanted to keep in touch.  Grace was discharged yet she called often to check on me and my family.  She was saddened when she learned of my mother’s passing and said we could count on her presence at the funeral.  Grace showed up and keeps showing up.  She continues to call and check on me and our new friendship continues to grow.

Can’t Figure It Out
Grace called last night and asked about my love.  She got a chance to meet him and took a liking to him/us.  She wanted to know how he’s doing, how we’re doing and she wanted to make sure we are taking great care of each other. Grace was married for sixty-three years before her husband passed away three years ago.  They met when they were teenagers knowing little to nothing yet they grew together and had a great marriage.  She said, “My husband and I didn’t know anything when we got married.  People know so much today and can’t figure it out.  I miss my husband every day.”  

Connecting With The People Closest To Me
I am super thankful for Grace and her presence in my life.  The wisdom she imparts with each call is priceless.  She calls me/my family her new family.  What a blessing.  I am open to receiving more people like Grace in my life and cultivating beautiful relationships.  As the newsletter states; I’m focused on connecting with the people closest to me.  What are you focused on?

death
Something to think about…

What say you? Do you think about the end of your life? Have you given thought to how you want to live the rest of your life? Does thinking about the end of your life cause you grief? Do you have regrets?

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

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