There Are Levels To Choosing The Right Mate

by Yvonne Chase on July 27, 2015

Living A 100% Surrendered Life To God
A couple of weeks ago, I posed the following question to my Tweeps; when choosing a mate, does the person have to match your level of maturity? The surprising general consensus was, no.  I took the question further and asked about faith.  Does the person have to match your level of maturity in faith? Again, the answer was no.  Last night I attended a Dating & Marriage workshop and this topic came up.  The focus of this part of the discussion was about living a 100% surrendered life to God as a single and using that as a parameter when choosing a mate.

One Leg In And One Leg Out
The teacher asked a guy and a girl to come forward. He placed a 10 around the guys neck and a 5 around the girls neck. The guy was at a level 10 of surrender in his walk with God, 10 being the highest and the girl was at a 5.  She wasn’t fully surrendered.  She sort of had one leg in and one leg out. Her faith was not necessarily her priority.  After giving us the breakdown of what their faith meant to each of them and how it played out in their lives, he asked “If you were God, would you be kind enough to give this guy at level 10 to this girl at level 5?  One person answered, “No. She could bring him down spiritually because they’re not at the same level.  The level 10 guy said, “Or it could be the other way around.” He could elevate her to his level of surrender in her faith. The teacher said it doesn’t usually happen that way.

Men Are Called To Lead
I asked my initial question because of an observation of two public couples Russell Wilson and Ciara and Devon Franklin and Meagan Good.

levels levels
There’s A Difference Between A Believer And A Follower
Russell is the new man in R&B singer Ciara’s life.  He’s a devout Christian and clarifies that by saying there’s a difference between being a believer and a follower.  He is both a believer and a follower of Jesus Christ. He says his girlfriend Ciara is too however, prior to them coming out as the new “It” couple, I had no clue about her faith.  There was no evidence anywhere about her following Jesus Christ.  The same was true for actress Meagan Good and Devon Franklin. Prior to their union, there was no evidence anywhere that she was a Christian much less a follower of Jesus Christ.  Who knew?

No History Of Dating Christian Men
Neither of these women had a history of dating Christian men prior to the new men in their lives.  If someone is a follower of Jesus Christ, there will be evidence of it somewhere.  Both Russell and Devon are at a level 10 in their surrender to God. I believe a Level 10 man can date down in spiritual maturity however, I don’t believe the reverse can be true without her taking the lead.  You see, men are called to lead.  If a man is stronger in his faith, he can lead a woman to a deeper level of surrender in her faith. The catch there is he must be sure she is doing it for the right reasons.

We Must Absolutely Match
The question had been on my mind also because of my level of surrender.  My thinking lines up with the teacher on this issue. I am 100% surrendered in my relationship with Jesus Christ.  My relationship with him is my life.  He is my everything; my first priority.  He comes before all else.  My walk with God affects every aspect of my life. I couldn’t see myself dating a guy who is not at least as surrendered in that relationship as I am.  For me, we must absolutely match in that area and I’d be ecstatic if he were a few steps ahead of me.

Take Me To Deeper Levels In That Relationship
As the discussion continued, the teacher said, “God probably wouldn’t promote a relationship between a level 5 and a level 10 because they are not equal in surrender.  Level 10 probably would not be attracted to level 5.”  Makes sense to me.  I’m not attracted to men who aren’t as surrendered as I am hence my single status.  For me, the man sets the spiritual temperature in the relationship.  My relationship with God is my responsibility however, whomever I date must take me to deeper levels in that relationship.  How can he do that if he’s at a level 5? Can he?

Something to think about…

What say you? Does your potential mate have to match your level of maturity? Must levels of faith match? Can a level 5 man lead a level 10 woman?

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