A White Man Is Not The Answer And A Black Man Is Not The Problem

by Yvonne Chase on November 11, 2015

Kissed Her First White Boy
Last night on Being Mary Jane, Mary Jane Paul (Gabrielle Union) kissed her first white boy and jokingly said she felt like she let the ancestors down.  Prior to lip locking the white boy she just met at the club, she had a conversation with her male co-worker about her love life.  Mary Jane or MJ, as she is affectionately called on the show pretty much monkey bars from one man to the next in her quest to find love and her choices are not the best at all.  You don’t make good choices when you’re monkey barring!

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Let “The One” Find You
She’s currently having sex with a hot football player and told her male co-worker she’s thinking about making him the one.  She says, “He’s really been there for me.  Maybe I should stop looking or the right one and consider the nice one” to which her coworker replied, “No, you had it right the first time.  Let him be the scratch for your itch but don’t confuse that.  You’re settling.  Let’s be honest, we both know that if you were trying to make him your man, you would’ve already screwed up that relationship.  Look MJ, you like him for the sex so just spend the rest of your time on you; read, travel but please let “The one” find you.  It’s gonna come.”  

The Challenges Of Finding A Good Black Man
In essence, he told her not to confuse random sex with the makings of the committed relationship she’s desperately seeking and then the white man came along to save the day.  Here’s my question, “Why is a white man always sent to the rescue when a black woman can’t seem to get it right with black men?” We saw this in the movie Something New.  Kenya (Sanaa Lathan) and her gang of black girlfriends were constantly commiserating about the challenges of finding a good black man then along came Brian (Simon Baker) the white man to save the day.

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There Are Bad Apples In Every Race
Just like Kenya and her girls, Mary Jane’s picker is broken and a white man will not solve that problem. P.S. I have nothing against interracial dating but here’s what I know for sure, there are bad apples in every race.  Mary Jane needs to do what her co-worker suggests; spend time on her, read, travel and get her soul together first before pursuing a relationship.  She also needs to value her temple and stop having random sex.  That’s a huge part of the reason why her picker is broken.  Mary Jane uses men to escape her reality.  Her current reality is her best friend Lisa committed suicide, David, the man she loved had a relationship with her best friend plus she’s still recovering from a terrible car accident that was caused when she found out about Lisa and David.  

Get Off The Monkey Bars
I shared my thoughts on Twitter and a male replied, “It’s just a fun fling at the club. She’s not taking him home. Plus it’s nice to try new things sometimes.”  Is that what women do at the club? Meet a total stranger then tongue kiss him and let him feel all over her? I’m all for trying something new, however, the something new I’d like to see Mary Jane try is to be 100% single.  No random sex or outings to the club locking lips with total strangers.  That’s the best way to fix a broken picker!  Get off the monkey bars and spend time dealing with the woman in the mirror.  

Something to think about…

What say you? What’s the best way to fix a broken picker? 

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