Christian Singles Chat Rewind: Better Celibate Than Sorry

by Yvonne Chase on August 9, 2013

celibate Abstaining From All Sexual Relations
Last night I led the first Christian singles chat on Twitter and I would say God was pleased.  I believe he would say, well done, good and faithful servant.  We talked about living a celibate life; what that means and how it looks.  The general consensus was, living a celibate life means abstaining from all sexual relations.

Dip In And Out
I like what one contributor added to the meaning, “I think included in the definition of celibacy should be intentionality.  Intentional meaning you have made a DECISION to be celibate, vs. situational meaning I’m not dating anyone right now.  Some people are situational celibate.” That was a great point and very true. Some people are celibate until their next relationship.  For the people in this chat, being celibate is a way of life until marriage and even if we never get married because its what God requires of us as Christians.  We can’t dip in and out of celibacy.

Sex Crazed World
We talked about the difficulty or the ease of living a celibate life.  One person shared, “It has it’s moments.  I would say difficult because of the outside influences (media, people, etc but it’s not as difficult like people make it out to be.”  We live in a sex crazed world.  We can’t get away from sex.  Its even played out in what used to be innocent TV commercials.  As one participant said, we constantly have to renew our minds with the word of God.

Fewer Comparisons
A Christian married couple joined the chat and I love what they had to offer.  They married as virgins and said its important to date someone who is on the same page with you living a celibate lifestyle not only to live in accordance to the Bible but the fewer comparisons to other people in marriage, the better! That’s a great reason to remain celibate.

Men Are Ready To Have Sex
All of the ladies in the chat, myself included would love to meet a man who is celibate however, as one person mentioned, women are celibate while men are ready to have sex.  One lady said she didn’t know any celibate men.  A girlfriend and I talked about this a while back and she said the same thing.  She was getting to know a Christian man and the only reason he decided to be celibate is because she was celibate.  If she wasn’t, he was ready and willing to do the deed.  Based on the many conversations I’ve had with Christian singles, he’s the rule not the exception.  In my eight years of life here in Los Angeles, California, I have yet to meet a Christian single man who is interested in pursuing a woman Gods way.  How is it in your neck of the woods?

How To Spot A Predator
I shared a story in the chat about a Christian gentleman I met who turned out to be what I call a sexual predator.  One participant said I should write a blog about how to spot a predator.  You know what, there’s no real way to spot them other than the Holy Spirit revealing it to you.  As I was having conversations with this particular gentleman, he said something that stopped me in my tracks.  I paid attention to what he said and followed it up with a series of questions.

He’s A Fraud
One night while sitting at home relaxing, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and told me he was a fraud.  He was pretending to be something he’s not.  How is it you profess to be a solid Christian yet you are looking for a devoted Christian woman for a sexual relationship.  Its one thing to fall into sin.  Its another thing to plan sin and make provision for it in your life.  In our last conversation, he realized this devoted Christian woman was not going to be his sexual partner and that was the last conversation we had.

God Always Answers Those Prayers
Anytime I meet a Christian man interested in me, I always ask God to reveal his heart to me sooner than later and show me exactly who he is.  I also ask God to remove him from my life if his intentions are not pure.  God always answers those prayers.  For me, that’s how I spot a predator or a man who isn’t truly walking with God.  Below are three takeaways to help you in your walk of celibacy:

  • Daily renew your mind with the word of God.  Romans 12:2 says, “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.”
  • Keep yourself out of harms way.  As one participant said, “Do not put yourself into temptation because the fire is hot.” 1 Corinthians 6:18 tells us to, “Flee sexual immorality.”  Flee means to run away from a place or situation of danger.
  • Don’t date a man who isn’t celibate.  Amos 3:3 asks the question, “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”

Something to think about…

What say you? What does being celibate mean to you? Is it a way of life or is it situational? Is it difficult or easy? Would you date someone who isn’t celibate? Why? Why not?

Here are 3 things I’d like you to do now:

1.  Leave a comment below

2.  Share this post if you like it

3.  Follow me on Twitter and join me next Thursday August 15th for the next Christian Singles Chat.  Topic: To Date or Not To Date?

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

catherine gacad August 9, 2013

Yvonne, this is a really interesting topic. I promised to respect myself by staying celibate until a man told me he loved me. That’s how I would know that the Lord brought me the right person. Because when a man says “I Love You,” it takes a lot of courage and faith. That didn’t happen for me until I was in my mid-twenties, but that man ended up being my very first boyfriend. We didn’t end up getting married, but even now (many years after breaking up) he is a dear and loyal friend.

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zinssatz für kredite des bundes zur deckung von ausgaben February 16, 2017

yay, finally caught up, just read every post from start to current in a day and a half, oh wait.. now that means I have to wait like everyone else.. *cry* aaahh!! TAToh well, loving every moment of it, can’t wait for more, and good luck with your study~~ (and tests)!!

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Yvonne Chase August 10, 2013

Cathy,

Thanks for sharing. Your comment is very interesting. Once he told you he loved you, you were no longer celibate? Are you saying celibacy for you at the time was more situational than intentional?

I would say I’ve been celibate all my life until I entered a relationship which is why I remain completely single today. Unless we’re getting married, there’s no reason to be in each others lives.

That’s why I chose the topic “To Date or Not To Date’ for the next chat. I believe for Christians, if we are serious about obedience to God in this area of our lives, its not wise to be in a committed relationship with someone who is not Gods choice. What would be the point of that?

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MsLady Lovely April 26, 2014

God Bless and I Truly Thank You For Sharing Gods Guidance Forward
Love, Beautiful

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