Submission In Marriage
Candace Cameron Bure, former star of Full House has stirred the pot with her views on submission in marriage. She has been happily married for 17 years to retired NHL player Val Bure and together they have three children. Here’s what she says about biblical submission in her new book, Balancing It All: My Story of Juggling Priorities and Purpose;
“My husband is a natural-born leader. I quickly learned that I had to find a way of honoring his take-charge personality and not get frustrated about his desire to have the final decision on just about everything. I am not a passive person, but I chose to fall into a more submissive role in our relationship because I wanted to do everything in my power to make my marriage and family work.”
“The definition that I’m using with the word submissive is the biblical definition of that,” she explained. “So, it is meekness; it is not weakness. It’s strength under control. It is bridled strength. I love that my man is a leader. I want him to lead and be the head of our family. And those major decisions do fall on him. It doesn’t mean I don’t voice my opinion. It doesn’t mean I don’t have an opinion. I absolutely do. But it is very difficult to have two heads of authority.”
“When you’re competing with two heads, that can pose a lot of problems or issues. So within my marriage, we are equal in our importance, but we are just different in our performances within our marriage. Clearly I have been married for 17 years and we have a very happy marriage and it works very well. I trust my husband, but that trust has been built. And I know that because I trust him and I build him up and give him the respect that he would like to have within marriage, that he so listens to everything I have to say and takes my opinion very seriously. And many of the times he will sway to what I would like, even if he doesn’t see eye to eye with me because he really values my opinion.”
He’d Be A Fool Not To Consult My Mother
What Candace explains is what I’ve seen my parents live their entire marriage; biblical submission. My dad is the leader and head of our household. My mother prayed for a strong leader and God delivered. Like Candace’s husband, all major decisions do fall on his shoulders and that is why he listens to and consults my mother before making those major decisions. My father has never made one major decision without my mother’s input. He needs her wisdom. He needs her prayers. He needs her insight and influence to do what’s best for our family. He’d be a fool not to consult my mother. She was created to help him. She’s a very wise woman with a wickedly discerning eye. My mother has never been wrong about anything or anyone yet. She can smell a rat from miles away and she always knows when something just ain’t right. I believe my Dad is extremely blessed because of her presence in his life even though they work each others nerves to no end some days.
Yield To His Wife
That’s the idea behind mutual biblical submission as outlined in Ephesians 5;21; “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” Submission is a two way street in Gods plan for marriage. Husbands and wives submit to each other and both submit to Jesus. Although the husband is the head of the household, he is to yield to his wife whenever possible. A godly man and a loving husband who understands biblical submission will not lead as a tyrant trying to control his wife.
You Cannot Pray Effectively
The Bible has a strong message for men who think they can get away with mistreating their wives in 1 Peter 3:7 “In the same way, you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an [a]intelligent recognition [of the marriage relation], honoring the woman as [physically] the weaker, but [realizing that you] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [Otherwise, you cannot pray effectively.]
Something to think about…
What say you…what are your thoughts on biblical submission? Do you take issue with anything Candace says about submission?
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