Fun, Food, Festivities
Yesterday I went to a Super Bowl 2013 party at one of my favorite lounges and had a blast. While I care nothing about football, I went for the fun, food and festivities. I went to meet people and have great conversations. Didn’t expect to pull out my coaching hat but I did.
Yelling at The TV
My friend is a bartender at this spot so he kept me filled up with pineapple juice; I don’t drink anymore. While hanging at the bar, I saw a lot of what men complain about with women. Here’s what I mean…there was a gentleman at the bar… (We’ll call him Carl) hanging with his female friend who was there to watch the game and celebrate her birthday. She was really into the game I mean she was yelling at the TV and carrying on like she was in her living room. Carl is a Fresh Prince of Bel Air kind of guy. He’s Wil Smith, pre dating doctor in the movie Hitch who had no game.
Took the Drinks and Ran
I noticed Carl constantly flashing his money. Something about that turned me off. I’d say he had about $300 in his pocket. The other thing that turned me off was the amount of strong alcohol they drank. A drunken loud woman is highly unattractive! Carl came back to the bar with a young lady and bought her three drinks. Apparently her twin sister and a friend were in tow. He’d been talking to her in another room with the expectation that they would exchange numbers and perhaps meet up again. All of that went out the window when she took the drinks and ran. I didn’t hear a thank you and neither did he. Carl was a tad bit upset and began to talk to me and the bartender about it. The conversation went like this:
Carl: The minute I bought the drinks, something in me said I shouldn’t have.
Bartender: Conversation costs huh?
Carl: She and her sister were standing at the table drinking water. They suckered me into buying drinks. I knew if they were drinking water, they probably couldn’t afford their own drinks. Looks like I was right huh?
Me: If you felt that way, why were you talking to her and why did you not listen to your gut?
Carl: I don’t know…I figured buying drinks would be a good place to start.
Me: Why? Because that’s what everyone else is doing? Why didn’t you just take her number and say nice to meet you? Why are you leading with your money?
He let out a loud oooooooh and stared at me.
Carl: You’re so right!
Me: Keep your money in your pocket. No one needs to see it. No one needs to know how much you have or don’t have. You bought me a drink? Why? Conversation with me doesn’t cost unless you’re a client. The bartender is my friend. He’s been filling me up with pineapple juice all night. I’m not impressed! You don’t have to do what the other men in here are doing. That’s not who you are. Be you. Stand out from the crowd.
He leaned in, gave me a kiss on the cheek and said thank you.
Everybody’s Got Game
To make him feel better I said, you know what, she did you a favor. You don’t want a woman like that do you –A taker with no manners? She showed you who she is. Be thankful you saw this now and not after she suckered you into marriage and took all your money. He wasn’t mad about the drinks. He was mad about the principle of it all. I watched those twin sisters work that room and get drinks from a myriad of men. That’s what some women do. That’s their sole intention when they leave home. Everybody’s got game and nobody’s winning!
My friend Mike who likes to play devil’s advocate and I talked about this a second ago and the conversation went like this…
Mike: So Yvonne, if a guy is talking to a woman, shouldn’t he buy her a drink?
Mike: Isn’t that what she expects?
Me: Who cares what she expects? If you want to separate the real deal from the game, I think men should stop buying women drinks. Talk to her; get a number if you’re interested and follow up with a phone call. Since when does conversation cost? Buy your own drink!
Mike: Women think you’re cheap if you don’t buy them a drink.
Me: Why do you care? You know you’re not cheap! If you feel like buying a drink do it but know that you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.
What say you? Ladies, do you think a man is cheap if he doesn’t offer to buy you a drink? Do you expect him to buy you a drink just because he’s talking to you? Why? Why not? Aren’t you talking to him too? Why don’t you offer to buy him a drink?
Something to think about…
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