Carriage Before Marriage
I read the news recently of a female celeb who is pregnant with her first child by her longtime boyfriend. It made me wonder why so many women are opting to put the carriage before marriage. This new trend bothers me. And then to make it all sound good and feel right, they say, “Babies are a blessing!” Of course, babies are indeed a blessing but why is it all of a sudden cool and accepted to do this backward?
Long Walks In The Park
Last week while scrolling through Instagram, my eyes landed on a page devoted to Christian singles. The post, in particular, was about marriage. It painted a picture of how difficult marriage is by saying things like; marriage is not about long walks in the park and candlelit dinners then it went on to paint a grueling and horrific visual of marriage being something like getting a root canal in the morning and a colonoscopy in the afternoon. Who wants to do that? Not I!
The Beauty Of Marriage
The devil is such a liar. Marriage can be filled with walks in the park and candlelight dinners. It’s very rare to hear people talk about the beauty of marriage, the fun in marriage, the happiness in marriage. Chris Rock once joked, “Do you want to be single and lonely or married and bored?”
While I’ve never been married, two of my four marriage mentors are married 20+ years and 14 years respectively. They have great marriages filled with weekly date nights, annual marriage retreats, weekly marriage Bible studies, a great social life, friends that support their union and so much more good stuff.
A Positive Light On Marriage
Trials are a part of their reality just like everyone else. They are very honest with me about those too because they want me to have a balanced view, however, they are intentional about shining a positive light on marriage. Part of life is trials; it’s how we grow, however, it’s not always that way.
Doom And Gloom
If you’re married, please leave a comment below highlighting the positive aspects of marriage. It can’t be all doom and gloom and if it is, what’s up with you and yours? Maybe if we paint a better picture of marriage, more people will want to marry?
Marriage Licenses Decrease
I threw my question out to Twitter and one person said; “We can only attribute that to our “new” social values. Divorce rates continue to increase while marriage licenses decrease. Many people do not value marriage anymore. Marriage is no longer a “thing.” Spot on. I, too, believe our new social values have much to do with it.
“Lack Of Freedom”
In an article titled The Ball and Chain Myth, the writer focused on how good marriage is, especially for men. The piece started out by saying, “Marriage is not worth it for men. It’s not worth the practical and financial sacrifices, the lost romantic opportunities, or the “lack of freedom.” All in all, a spouse is a ball and chain—of little benefit to any man interested in pursuing happiness and well-being.”
Hook, Line And Sinker
It continued with, “But despite its prevalence, the ball and chain view of marriage is simply not supported by the research. Indeed, the benefits of marriage for men are substantial by every conceivable measure, including more money, a better sex life, and significantly better physical and mental health. Yet many men remain ignorant of these benefits, a view seemingly promoted by popular culture.” This view is definitely supported and promoted by pop culture and men are buying into it, hook line and sinker.
I Wouldn’t Do That If I Were You
As men continue to buy into the ball and chain message and women continue to make it easy for them to have all of the benefits of marriage apart from marriage and we continue to paint a picture of marriage that says, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” I guess the carriage before marriage trend will continue.
What say you? Why has putting the carriage before marriage become the norm? If you’re married, how do you speak about marriage? If you’re single, are you encouraged by what you hear about marriage?
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