Yesterday’s Hard Conversation Wore Me Out

by Yvonne Chase on July 26, 2017

Spilling Your Guts
In my last post, I talked about hard conversations. As I said there and I say now, hard conversations are hard. They require a lot of courage. You’re literally spilling your guts without any guarantee of the outcome. Yesterday I had a hard conversation that was long overdue with a very close friend. We met up at a lovely outdoor café in the city.

(P.S. eating outdoors is nice until someone walks by with their dog and it poops within inches of your table. Disgusting! People have no regard for each other in NYC. There is no way I would let my dog poop anywhere near someone who is sitting outside enjoying a meal.)

Let It Rip
Anyway, we ordered avocado toast, two cups of tea and dessert. Here’s a tip for you; have your hard conversation over a meal. There’s something about talking over a meal that relaxes the atmosphere and makes it a tad bit easier. After a few bites and a lot of small talk, I started the hard conversation. It was awkward at first. I didn’t just want to hit him in the head with everything that was on my heart so I eased into it and after a while I just let it rip.

conversation
Talking To A Wall
At one point, I zipped up my purse and was ready to go because he just wasn’t getting it! It felt like I was talking to a wall. Frustration set in when I had to explain over and over again. My voice got loud and so did his. There were long moments of awkward silence. It was an intense conversation that required a whole lot of patience.

Wore Me Out
Once we got to the other side, we both breathed a sigh of relief. If I drank, last night would’ve been a good night to pick up a bottle of wine on the way home and drink the entire bottle while soaking in the bathtub. That conversation wore me out.

Where We Stand
When all was said and done, we learned things about each other that we had no idea of. He was in his own world making up assumptions about me and I was in my own world doing much of the same. In the end, assumptions were clarified, judgments released, understanding flowed, and we both walked away with clarity.

Feel The Fear
As much as I like hard conversations, it doesn’t mean I’m kicking up my heels in excitement when its’ time to talk. Nervousness and fear hit me like it does you, the difference is, I feel the fear and I do it anyway.

Step Up In Life
My original post inspired a reader to have her own hard conversation. Here’s what she said:

Had a hard conversation with a family member today. Not much resolution on either side but got out what needed to be said.

Dust Settles
Good for you! Sometimes there is no resolution in the moment. That’s okay. Getting it out is what’s important. Perhaps resolution will come later once the dust settles. Here’s what I know for sure, the benefits of having hard conversations far outweigh the cons.

 

conversation
Something to think about…

What say you? Do you need to have a hard conversation? What’s holding you back?

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

1. Leave a comment below

2. Share this post if you like it

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Sandy July 27, 2017

Wow that is so accurately organized! Problem is I often can’t get past the brick wall. Dust eventually settles but often no resolution is made. Thanks for this post. I always love stopping by here!
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Yvonne Chase July 28, 2017

Sandy,

I understand. I almost didn’t get past the brick wall. I was ready to take my purse and leave or hit him over the head first! It was exhausting, to say the least, but I got through it.

I’m glad you love stopping by here. Thank you.
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Mari-Anna Stålnacke July 28, 2017

I agree we must have those hard conversations once in awhile. We don’t want to do them but it’s worth it to go through them. Communication is the key to any relationship. Thanks for sharing, neighbor. Blessings to you!
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Yvonne Chase July 28, 2017

@Mari,

Communication IS the key to any thriving relationship. If we really care about the relationship, we will have the hard conversations. Getting through it is rough, however, it’s so worth it in the end.
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Yulunda August 5, 2017

Hello there!

This post is so timely considering the current environment we are living in.

I always say, “We must be comfortable having uncomfortable conversations.”

Yes, they are very hard to have but, we are always left better off by having them.

If more adults would begin to be honest about their feelings, we’d be able to teach the children to do the same.

Best regards,

YG
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