Dear Future Husband, I’m Not Writing You A Letter

by Yvonne Chase on September 19, 2017

I Think It’s Silly
I have never written a Dear Future Husband letter. Have you? To be very honest with you, when I saw the hashtag floating around Twitter, I thought it was silly. Sure I read some of the tweets and some were sentimental and very sweet, however, I still think it’s silly to write a letter to someone that doesn’t exist. Furthermore, I honestly don’t know if I will marry. Thought I was going to marry this guy, actually wanted to, however, it didn’t work out that way.

dear
Not A Fan
Last week, I read two blog posts about Dear Future Husband letters. One writer has written several while the other, like me, is not a fan. I hope a husband shows up for the woman who’s written letters. What will she do with the letters if he doesn’t?

The Day My Singleness Ends
According to the writer, this is why she writes, “Writing these letters has allowed me to mentally prepare for the day my singleness ends.” Does she have the inside scoop on something I don’t know because the last I heard, singleness will not end for every woman.

Keeps Our Focus In The Wrong Place
Yes, God created marriage but nowhere does he promise it to everyone who wants it. What if her singleness doesn’t end? What if she is one of those women who never say I do? The writer who sees it from my view talks about marriage idolatry. We have made an idol of marriage, haven’t we? Here’s what she says:

There are dozens of Christian articles on how and why to write to a future husband or wife. Though many people believe in this practice and encourage it, it keeps our focus in the wrong place. It subtly (or overtly) puts our hope for happiness in someone other than Christ.

Undoubtedly, marriage is a treasured gift many Christians will receive. Instituted by God before the fall, and intended to showcase the beauty of the gospel, marriage ought to be highly regarded by God’s people. But marriage is no savior. It cannot rescue, redeem, or ultimately fulfill us. It has no final power to save us from our loneliness, emptiness, or purposelessness. Believing marriage can do the work of God himself is to serve an idol.

A Man Who Doesn’t Exist
Dear Future Husband letters keep our focus in the wrong place; the future and what it will be like with a man who doesn’t even exist. Question, are men writing Dear Future Wife letters? Somehow, I highly doubt it. I think he’s busy living in the moment while we women are off in fantasy island somewhere.

Dear Future Husband Bandwagon

While writing this post, I decided to Google Dear Future Husband letters. The first thing that popped up was a song by Meaghan Trainor. I had no idea she was a part of the Dear Future Husband bandwagon.

Better Love Me Right
The lyrics to her song show me a woman who will be a selfish wife only giving him what she wants if he gives her what she wants. Take a look:

Dear future husband
Here’s a few things
You’ll need to know if you wanna be
My one and only all my life
Take me on a date
I deserve a break
And don’t forget the flowers every anniversary
‘Cause if you’ll treat me right
I’ll be the perfect wife

Dear future husband
If you wanna get that special lovin’
Tell me I’m beautiful each and every night

After every fight
Just apologize
And maybe then I’ll let you try and rock my body right
Even if I was wrong
You know I’m never wrong
Why disagree?
Why, why disagree?
Future husband, better love me right

You May Never Get Married
I know it’s just a song, however, writers tend to write what’s in our hearts. Unfortunately, most people come into marriage with the mindset of the above lyrics; you better love me right! Be that as it may, if you insist on writing a Dear Future Husband letter, knock yourself out and then when you come to, remember, you may never get married.

dear
Something to think about…

What say you? What do you think about Dear Future Husband letters? Have you written one? Would you? Why? Why not? Have we made an idol of marriage?

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Tina September 22, 2017

I love reading your blog. You may a lot of great points. I am in my single season and learning so much from God that a man or marriage doesn’t cross my mind. Marriage is something God created & therefore it is only God that can prepare us for marriage. Biblical, no one has written letter to their future husband or wife. Therefore I am not wasting my time, when I know deep in my heart the Lord is calling me to seek his kingdom.

I believe marriage is now something everyone is wanting but many are not spiritual mature, and many are not seeking God Kingdom to know him for who he is. They seek for marriage. WRONG WRONG WRONG!!

Marriage is a calling for two to carry out the Lord plan. For Example: Abraham and Sarah, fathers of nation and mother of nations. There was a calling for their marriage and through their marriage God give them Isaac to fulfill his will.
It is up to God whom he decide to give in marriage. The future spouse letter is something single woman have taken to fill the void in their heart. Singleness is a gift as well and it is to be embrace with having a father and daughter relationship with the Almighty God. I do believe it is important to study what marriage is according to the Lord words, to have discernment and to be prepared spiritual if the Lord wills to change your status.

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Yvonne Chase September 24, 2017

@Tina,

I love you for this great comment loaded with truth. You are so right when you say many want marriage yet many are not spiritually mature for marriage. They’re solely seeking marriage without giving any thought to Gods plan for their marriage.

One of the questions we were asked in premarital class was what work will we do in our marriage? What is the purpose of our marriage? Why do we believe God joined us together?

Amen, singleness is a gift that is to be embraced and yes, before we marry, we need to study what marriage is according to the word of God.

God bless you, Tina…
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Janet Jackson Could’ve Avoided Divorce And Single MotherhoodMy Profile

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