Seek and you will find. Matthew 7:7
In my last post, Courtship and Dating – What’s the Difference, I referenced Eddie Murphy in the movie Coming to America. In this post, I’d like to take that conversation a little deeper – here we go. When Eddie Murphy (Prince Akeem) came to America, he knew what he was seeking. A wife – not a girlfriend, not a friend with benefits, not random hookups, not a casual dating experience – he wanted a wife. I believe he found a wife because he was crystal clear on what he was seeking. He had vision; he knew the end from the beginning.
Know What You Want
Bill Cosby says, when you know what you want, you will recognize it when you see it. Eddie knew what he wanted and he recognized it the minute he saw it. When she (Lisa McDowell) came on stage, approached the microphone and began to speak about the fundraiser, encouraging everyone to give, he knew that was his queen, his wife, the bride he came to find in America. He knew what to look for based on his mother, his culture, his environment and even based on the woman chosen for him by his parents. A light bulb went off in his head.
A Good Woman
Because he knew what he was seeking, he was able to ask the right questions to find it. In a conversation with Mr. Clarence outside of the barbershop, he asked, where can I go to find a good woman? His priority was a good woman; a woman good enough to walk in the role as his wife. Prior to that, he and Arsenio (Semmi) had gone to clubs and bars and been sorely disappointed.
Logic and Mechanics
One of my Twitter followers and I exchanged a few tweets about my post and I asked him if he thought we could learn a thing or two from Eddies approach and he said; we could but one must be careful not to let logic and mechanics eliminate the heart and soul of one’s quest. While I get his point, I find it interesting that we use lots of logic and mechanics in other areas of our lives like searching for a new job, buying a home, relocating to a new city, even figuring out where to have dinner tonight yet when it comes to the most important decision we will ever make – the one decision that could change the entire trajectory of our lives, we throw logic and mechanics to the wind and follow our hearts solo.
Dating today resembles getting into a car with no destination then hoping to end up somewhere amazing. Who does that? While our heart and soul need to be engaged in the process, I believe the absence of logic and mechanics is complicating an otherwise uncomplicated process.
Something to think about…
What say you? Did Eddie Murphy have the right idea? Can you find something if you’re not seeking it intentionally?