Earlier last week, rapper Clifford T.I. Harris shared his controversial views on marriage. To say his views ruffled more than a few feathers is an understatement. After six years of marriage and three children, his wife Tiny wants a divorce. In a nutshell, T.I said, marriage is going to distract and deter. Here’s what he said in full:
I can be a better best friend than a husband. It’s just the truth. Ultimately, man, I’m on a mission. I’m striving to take my family, its name and our legacy as far and high as it can possibly go. And in my life, there will be two different things. There will be people, places and things that help me get there. And there will be people, places and things that distract and deter me from getting there.
It seems to me that marriage and what marriage means and what marriage does–it’s just one of those things that’s going to distract and deter me. And that could be selfish, but ultimately, I’m the patriarch of this family. It’s my responsibility to take us onward and upward. And that’s what I intend to do.
I just have a purpose and I don’t always have the time to do the thoughtful, considerate things that a husband should do. Me knowing that about myself–knowing I’m not going to deter myself from my plan. I’m going to move. And whoever move with me, they coming with me. And whoever don’t move, I’ll be back.”
Rooted In Selfishness
As I listened to his views on marriage, I was reminded of something my brother shared with me when he was alive. He said, “The root of every divorce is selfishness. Anytime a marriage is in trouble the root of the trouble is selfishness.” Looks like he was right. Everything T.I. shared is rooted in selfishness. He’s completely out of line.
Share The Truth
When we don’t know the truth, we believe lies and make wrong decisions. My purpose in writing this post is to share the truth. We know what T.I. said now let’s hear what the word of God says in 1 Corinthians 7:33-34 (AMP) to married people:
33But the married man is concerned about worldly things, how he may please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. The unmarried woman or the virgin is concerned about the matters of the Lord, how to be holy and set apart both in body and in spirit; but a married woman is concerned about worldly things, how she may please her husband.
Distract And Deter You
What ruffled people’s feathers the most was when he said marriage is going to distract and deter him. Marriage does mean you are no longer operating on your own. It’s no longer about you, it’s about us. You have a spouse to consider. You have to check in with your spouse with every decision. So, yes, he’s right. If you’re not ready to do that or you don’t want to move as a team or you’re tired of considering your spouse, marriage can feel like a distraction.
Accomplish Your Mission
Marriage in and of itself is not a distraction or a deterrent. T.I’s priorities are simply out of order. Marriage is the very thing that will help you accomplish all of your goals. Your wife is your helpmeet. God created her to help you accomplish your mission. Sacrificing your marriage to accomplish a mission is foolish.
Responsibility Of A Spouse
When I read comments like T.I’s, the beauty of living single shines brighter. Single people have zero distractions. I mean, we do have lives and responsibilities, however, we don’t have the huge responsibility of a spouse. We can live, move and have our being without checking in with a spouse. We can go when God says go. T.I. can’t do what we do and that’s why he sees marriage as a distraction. I get it!
Making Decisions Together
In the right order, a spouse comes after your relationship with God, which is why every single person should really take advantage of this season. If and when you do marry, you will not have the freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want. Your life is no longer your own once you say, “I do” and I guess that could very much feel like a distraction.
What say you? Married people, help us single people out; have you ever felt like your marriage is a distraction? Have you ever said, man if I was unmarried, I could do this or that? Can any part of you understand why T.I. would say marriage is a distraction?
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