Who Pays?
OK, so I just watched the recent episode of Single Ladies and the question is, who pays? Here’s the scenario…Morgan is out with her girls when she sees a gentleman eyeballing her from the bar.
First Move
Apparently he’s too nervous to walk over to a table full of women and ask her out so Morgan makes the first move and sashays on over to the bar, chats him up, gives him her number and asks him out to dinner. She discussed the scenario with her crew prior to the dinner date and here’s what they said:
Denise: It just occurred to me that since you asked him out, he might expect you to pay to which Morgan replied, “But he’s a man, men always pay.
Omar: You know, a free meal might not be all he’s expecting. Some guys think that when a woman pursues them, they’re definitely getting sex.
Lisa Raye: I can see why a guy might think that. Men ask women out on a date to convince us to have sex. If we ask for the date, they’re convinced we already want it.
ROI = SEX!
When I moved to LA seven years ago, an older gentleman had a conversation with me about this very thing and I’ll never forget his words. He said; “Yvonne, every time a man takes you out, he’s making a down payment.” I looked at him strangely and said, “On what?” and he said, “Sex. We want a ROI; return on investment.”
You Want Some Booty?
Boris Kodjoe confirmed this in the movie Brown Sugar when he closed down the restaurant for his first date with Sanaa Lathan. At the end of the date as they were taking a stroll, she said to him, “So you want some booty?” and he said, “Yes, eventually! That’s why we do this…closing down restaurants, the awkward walks…we want sex…maybe not tonight but eventually.”
I’m Nobody’s Hoe!
At the end of Morgan’s date, she paid and he said thank you. The walk to her car was fine but the slob down kiss he laid on her was inappropriate. It’s a first date! Before the kiss he asked if she was down to hang out a little longer and she declined. After the kiss, he pulled her close and asked again to which she said with an attitude and neck roll, “Yes I am. I may have paid for dinner but I’m nobody’s hoe.”
Women Hold the Power
Here’s my conclusion of the whole matter, a man can expect whatever he wants to expect. Even if he expects sex, you decide when. Women hold the power. Should a woman pay if she asks him out? I say yes however, a gentleman never lets a woman pay.
Something to think about…
What say you…Do you ask men out on dates? Do you pay? Should he pay when you ask? Do you expect him too? Ladies, are you offering sex when you pay? What are the repercussions of making the first move? Are dates a down payment on sex?
