Draya Michele Says, Act Like A Wife If You Want To Be A Wife

by Yvonne Chase on February 26, 2014

Start Thinking Like A Wife
On a recent episode of Basketball Wives LA, cast member Draya Michele said, “If you want to be a wife, you have to act like a wife.  You have to start thinking like a wife if you want to get wifed.”  Draya is in a new relationship with her boo NFL player Orlando Scandrick.

Draya

Ready For The Next Step
Draya is in love and ready for the next step.  She no longer wants to be a girlfriend.  She’s always been the girlfriend.  She’s ready to graduate to a fiance and then a wife.  I like the way she’s thinking.  I support Draya 100% in her desire to become a wife, however; I don’t support the way she’s trying to make it happen.

Simmer Down
Draya and her ten-year-old son moved in with Orlando who is also the father of four-year-old twin girls.  She’s cooking and cleaning and giving him sex on the regular.  She’s literally acting like his wife.  When he whipped out her gift on their six month anniversary, which she thought might’ve been an engagement ring because of the small red box, he said, “Simmer down.  I do think about being married one day but I’m only 26 years old.”  He told her everything she needed to know.  Marriage is not happening anytime soon.

Draya
Move Out Today
Draya, here’s what I need you to do, pack up your stuff and move out today.  No more cooking, no more cleaning and no more tying your soul to a man who is not your husband.  Don’t spend one more minute acting like something you’re not.  You can act like a wife under your own roof, in your own bed, by yourself.  I do it every day.  The longer you act like his wife, the longer it will take to become his wife.  He’s not ready.  He told you so.  Pay attention.

Pick Up The Bible
Ladies, acting like a wife doesn’t mean you move in with him then assume the title and role he hasn’t given you.  Acting like a wife is about you.  It’s about how you think; it’s a renewing of your mind.  You put away old ways and step into a new way of being.  Your priorities shift.  If you want to know how to be a wife, pick up the Bible and read Genesis 2:18-24 to see how it all began then skip on over to Proverbs 31:10-31 to see a shining example of a wife then hop on over to 1 Peter 3:1-7 and Ephesians 5:21-33 to learn how a wife relates to her husband.  The road to becoming a wife starts with securing your relationship with God then letting him work on you from the inside out.

Something to think about…

What say you? How do you interpret acting like a wife? Does a woman need to act like a wife if she wants to be a wife? What about men…does a man need to act like a husband if he wants to meet a wife? What scriptures would you add to the list?

Here are two things I’d like you to do now:

1.  Leave a comment below

2.  Share this post if you like it

{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }

Christy @ AWTWD February 26, 2014

Amen! Amen! Amen and Amen!! So true… Women jump so quickly into wifely duties with never a commitment or an inkling of becoming an actual wife.. When it’s time it will come. And as long as women act with their heart not use logic they will continue to find themselves in this situation!

Reply

Yvonne Chase February 26, 2014

Christy,

I feel for Draya. She thinks she’s doing what she needs to do to become his wife. She’s totally clueless! Draya wanted to open that red box and see an engagement ring. Instead she saw a pair of very nice diamond stud earrings. Disappointment set in as she continues her quest at acting like his wife.

You’re right, when its time it will come. He told her its not time. I hope she gave herself a time limit on how long she’s going to play this role before it become a reality.

Reply

g February 26, 2014

this is flawed thinking that does not apply here. it may work for promotion in a job or career but not for marriage. And if you don’t know what it means to be a wife, you can’t think like one.
reality tv is really screwing everyone up.

Reply

Yvonne Chase February 26, 2014

You ain’t never lied “g.” Reality TV is really screwing everyone up and that is why I right about it with the hopes of steering women in the right direction.

Reply

Inthe... February 26, 2014

Growing up, I had a dog named Magic. Beautiful mixed breed. He loved holidays for one reason: food! He would eat to his full, throw up and then go back for more. As long as you gave it, he would it. The average man is like that. You wanna give your body, sure I’ll take it. You wanna cook for me? Sure I’ll eat it. Wanna do my laundry, sure I’ll bring it. What women don’t understand is that none of this takes you any closer to wifeydom than hired help! The guy actually has to give you that title.

Reply

Gee's Lemonades February 26, 2014

“What women don’t understand is that none of this takes you any closer to wifeydom than hired help! ” – Amen!

Reply

Yvonne Chase February 26, 2014

@Inthe…

You are 100% right. Draya doesn’t understand. Poor baby. She doesn’t realize Orlando has to actually give her that title. She really thinks every meal, every clean room and every sexual escapade is taking her closer to wifeydom. Too bad for Draya…

Reply

Anosime February 26, 2014

This reminds me of the ‘dear inthe’ post I saw on inthemidstofher’s blog. I don’t know Draya and how old she is but let me guess she is older than he is. Soon, age will tell on her cos he is not ready to settle down yet. But, the statement “simmer down” should make her review things properly.

Reply

Yvonne Chase February 26, 2014

“Simmer down” would tell me everything I need to know. Draya is 29.

Reply

Inthe... February 26, 2014

What’s the incentive to putting a ring on it?? Need I repeat the Cow/milk metaphor?

Reply

Yvonne Chase February 26, 2014

@Inthe…

The cow/milk metaphor is real. There is no incentive!

Reply

Kiwi February 26, 2014

OMG I needed to read this. Almost 2 years ago my boyfriend and I broke up because of this situation. I was acting like a wife and he was enjoying the perks of that lifestyle without even a thought of wanting to get married. I really thought we were going to get married but we split…and I did want you said. I moved and and just started living my life.

I am still currently single but I want to be a wife. I want God to open that door for me and I dont want to force it. I think sometimes us as women want to force that to happen when it should come naturally for a man. Thanks for the post.

-Kiwi

Reply

Yvonne Chase February 27, 2014

Kiwi,

I remember a time when a gentleman said to me, I’ll get a place for us then we can move in, have a baby and see how it goes. My response was, that’s backwards. No thanks!

Thankfully you learned a valuable lesson and will never do that again. You’re right, some women want to force it or create an environment where he feels that’s what he needs to do. That’s not the best way. He ought to propose because he wants to not because he feels pressured to or its the next logical step. I don’t want that kind of proposal!

Reply

Lena Willis February 27, 2014

Let the church say AMEN! Playing house is turning into a generational curse. Young women saw their mothers doing that, and then their daughters will be doing it. As a result, our young boys don’t see why they owe anyone the benefit of the commitment of being the husband/head of household.

Reply

Yvonne Chase February 27, 2014

Lena,

You make a great point; “Our young boys don’t see why they owe anyone the benefit of the commitment of being the husband/head of household.” When we change our behavior, they will be forced to change their behavior.

Reply

E.B. Davis February 28, 2014

I agree. Acting like someone’s wife does not make you someone wife. Stop playing house and stick to your standards.

Reply

Yvonne Chase March 1, 2014

Amen to that: “Stop playing house and stick to your standards.” Many women have relaxed their standards because they want a relationship so badly.

Reply

Mamapotamus March 1, 2014

OH…My…GOSH AMEN, sister! As I was reading this I was thinking of some ladies I wanted to whack in the forehead with the computer screen so they could read it (including me in the past!). I will be following this blog for sure – thank you so much for sharing!

Reply

Yvonne Chase March 1, 2014

@Mamapotamus,

The visual of you whacking someone in the forehead with the computer screen made me LOL! We all learn in our own time and in our own way don’t we?

Thanks for stopping by!

Reply

Jessi Fearon (@TheBudgetMama) March 1, 2014

As a girl that once upon a time did exactly what Draya is doing, I can tell you, she is not getting married anytime soon. You’re right he told her that it wasn’t happening soon. And she should just move out and wait to act like a wife when she is a wife.

Thank you for sharing! Visiting from SITS!

Reply

Yvonne Chase March 1, 2014

Exactly Jessi. She can take on the role of a wife in all of its glory once he puts a ring on it.

Thanks for stopping by!

Reply

talitha haynes March 1, 2014

I totally agree with you. Stop playing house men get way too comfortable. Great post

Reply

Yvonne Chase March 1, 2014

@Talitha…

And then we wonder why men drag their feet to the altar. Why would he marry you if you’re giving him all the benefits of marriage without a ring?

Reply

George Scheide March 1, 2014

Amen Yvonne! It seems like everyone’s in such a hurry to do things their own way, or the world’s way. It might work out for her, but more often than not, it doesn’t. That second he said, “simmer down,” should have been enough for her.

Reply

Yvonne Chase March 1, 2014

George,

You’re right…it might work out for her…it works out for some but that’s just not the best way to get a proposal. While she’s acting like a wife, I hope he’s acting like a husband. I seriously doubt it!

Reply

Susie (The Esthetic Goddess) March 1, 2014

Fabulous post! I could not agree more! Get your head on straight. Learn to be independent and happy with yourself. Then if you find a guy you want to spend forever with that will just add to your happiness not be your happiness.

Reply

Shaunda March 2, 2014

It always amazes me how men want a woman to do as a wife but, don’t want a wife. They drag us along for as long as they can and get someone else just in case we don’t want the job of making them happy anymore. Women, we have to stop allowing this learned behavior men try to force on us. Enough is enough!

Reply

AwesomelyOZ March 2, 2014

Poor girl – she’s so beautiful too and with child. Once I had my son and became a single mom I knew that before I moved in with anyone or took anyone serious you HAVE to talk about marriage and the future. There is no “simmer down” in my book. She should run that was a very revealing answer. Great post Yvonne and have a great one! -Iva

Reply

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

Previous post:

Next post: