Freddy Wants A Baby, Jeannie Doesn’t And What To Do About It

by Yvonne Chase on October 20, 2017

Don’t Want Kids
What do you do when both of you agree you don’t want kids before marriage and now one of you wants kids after you’ve been married a while? That’s the dilemma Jeannie Mai and her husband Freddy have been dealing with for the past three years. Watch the video below and we’ll talk after…

Live In The Present
In the end. Jeannie decided to divorce her Freddy after 10 years of marriage. This is a tough one. I threw it out to Twitter and I really like what @stevengcrowley said, “Live in the present.” I’d like to add a quote by the late Wayne Dyer to the conversation, “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

Trust God
I wonder what the outcome would’ve been if Jeannie decided to embrace that quote. Instead of saying, I’m having a baby for Freddy or I’m having a baby to save my marriage, she could say, I love my Freddy so much and I enjoy the great marriage we have so much that I’m going to trust God as we step into the waters of conception. She is a Christian woman who talks openly about her faith on the show.

WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA – NOVEMBER 14: Television personalities Jeannie Mai (L) and Freddy Harteis attend the Roku grand opening on November 14, 2015 in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Imeh Akpanudosen/Getty Images for Innovative Dining Group)

Love To Pieces
Once upon a time, former co-host Tamar Braxton was in Jeannie’s shoes. She was adamant about not having kids. Today, she and hubby Vince have a son Logan that they love to pieces and she says she wants another. Watch the video below to hear what she has to say and we’ll continue the conversation after… 

Flipped The Script
As the conversation continued on Twitter, someone else said, “If she doesn’t want to have a child that’s not selfish. They agreed on that. It’s not her fault he flipped the script. Nobody should have a child if they don’t want to. That was the agreement. She’s not wrong. They just need to go separate ways which they are.”

He Changed His Mind
I wouldn’t exactly call changing your mind flipping the script. We change our minds moment by moment. It just so happens he changed his mind around a major issue. I see this as a test of faith and a test of their love. In another clip, she shared specifically why she doesn’t want to have kids:

I know I would be a great mom because I really love kids and I love people and I love purpose. Putting those three together creates an awesome human being but at the same time, I don’t want that responsibility. I really don’t feel that. I believe as a mother, you have to be willing to commit your entire life to that child because when you bear a child into this world, it’s not about you. You gotta do what it takes for that child every single day. I’m admitting I’m a selfish person.”

See Where He Leads
Truer words have never been spoken; you gotta do what it takes for that child every single day. In addition to those sentiments, the story Jeannie tells about her dad in the video below is the root reason she doesn’t want to have kids. Watch…

A Charmed Life
Let me share something with you; my parents have 8 kids. We lived what I like to call a charmed life back home in Nassau Bahamas. Dad lost his job and couldn’t find another for two years. I remember Mom saying, in spite of the circumstances, every bill was paid, we never went without, and life went on as usual. Then we migrated to America like Jeannie’s parents and had to figure it out from there. God was faithful.

Provides Bountifully
I’ve seen Gods hand of provision in my personal life. Just the other day someone said to me, “I don’t understand how you live alone in Brooklyn, in a nice apartment, in a nice neighborhood by yourself and I have 3 roommates. It’s expensive!” She’s right, it is expensive, but guess what, my God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills and the wealth in every land provides bountifully for his daughter. 

God Provides
Jeannie is right; working in the business of TV is as unpredictable as an earthquake. You never know when a show will cancel and your job end. Here’s what I do know for sure, God supplies all of my needs according to his riches in glory through Christ Jesus.


Do Not Worry
Furthermore, he tells me, “Do not worry” in Matthew 6:25-34. It’s unfortunate Jeannie ended her marriage and cheated herself out of what might’ve been a beautiful blessing because she’s living in fear. We will never receive all God has for us when fear leads the way. Either we trust God or we don’t. Do you trust him? 
Freddy

Something to think about…

What say you? Is divorce the only option in this situation? Have you ever been in a situation where you had to exercise blind faith and trust God to see you to the other side? What did you do? 

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Trina Taylor October 20, 2017

Why she doesn’t want kids is the bigger issue not necessarily her not wanting kids. I like the way you focused on that reason and shared the experience of your parents migrating to America and trusting God with 8 children.

You’re right, Jeannie does talk about her faith quite a bit on the show. Talking about it and being about it are very different.

None of us knows what the future holds however, when we know who holds the future, we trust him completely.

I remember Tamar not wanting kids. I was honestly surprised when she had Logan and I’m even more surprised she wants another. Good for her and Vince. I guess if Jeannie really wanted to stay married, they would’ve figured it out the way Tamar did.

Tough one!

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Kathleen October 24, 2017

I guess this might seem selfish too but to me, if her reason for not wanting kids is that she wants to be selfish then she’s in the wrong. When she got married she made a commitment. If he wants a kid, she should give him a kid. Her reason isn’t good enough and they shouldn’t have broken their marriage. This isn’t even a men make decisions thing. My husband wanted to stop after kid #3. We are on kid #5 and now we both want to stop.
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Yvonne Chase October 24, 2017

@Kathleen,

I agree with you. I’m so glad to read a response like yours from a married woman with children. Ending the marriage does not sit well with me at all for so many reasons. What happened to the vows for better or worse?

Seems like people bow out when it gets worse. If she loves her husband so much and he loves her so much and he loves her so much and he is her Freddy and she is his Jeannie, they should’ve at least walked down that path of trying to conceive. Who knows what would’ve happened on the other side.

Something about her reasoning seems super selfish to me. My brother did say that at the root of every divorce is selfishness. The more I hear of one divorce after the next, the more his theory seems spot on.

The bigger conversation for me is she’s a believer; a Christian woman. We’re not supposed to divorce like everyone else.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Cheap Sex, Blow Up Dolls, And The Decline Of MarriageMy Profile

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