4 Ways To Buy The Perfect Gift For Her

by Yvonne Chase on January 6, 2017

It Simply Does Not Work For You
Ladies, have you ever received a gift that didn’t work for you? It’s a very nice gift and any woman in her right mind would love it however, it’s not your thing.  Let me bring it all the way home.

Pretend You Love It
Have you ever received a gift from your mate, significant other, bae, boo, love or whatever you call him that simply didn’t work for you? What did you do? What would you do? Would you say something or would you pretend you love it and keep it moving?

A Very Involved Process
This was my life this Christmas.  It was our (me and my love) first Christmas together and our first time exchanging Christmas gifts.  He knocked it way out of the park for my birthday but missed the mark a tad bit this time around.  I don’t know how you approach buying gifts but for me, it’s a very involved process especially when I’m buying for someone special like my love.  

A Serious Thing For Me
It’s very rare that I’ll walk into a store and buy something for you that you’d buy for yourself.  A  lot of thought goes into gift buying and giving even down to how I wrap it. Okay, so, he gave me three gifts. He’s a very generous man. I love all of them, however, gift number three…not so much. It’s super generous and most women would love it but not this woman.  

I Decided To Keep It
After much thought, prayer, consideration and wise counsel from a girlfriend, I decided to speak up and let him know how I feel about gift number three. I forgot to mention this; when I opened the gift, we spoke briefly about my feelings toward it and he offered to switch it out for something else. Because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings, upset him or come off as an unappreciative ingrate, I decided to keep it and try to make it work.

I Didn’t Speak Up
Two days later, I changed my mind. We pride ourselves on having a very honest and transparent relationship. I had to say something. Pretending is not what we do. Furthermore, I didn’t want resentment to build up because I didn’t speak up. That’s usually what happens; resentment builds up then comes out in not so nice ways at unexpected times.  

In Person Might’ve Been Best
My nerves were bad as I approached the conversation so much so that I almost got off the phone without saying a word. Looking back, in person might’ve been best. Be that as it may, I saw this as a teachable moment for us. How will he know how to buy gifts for me moving forward if I pretend I like something? As nice as gift number three is, I don’t ever want to have this experience again. After this fiasco, he might never buy me another Christmas gift. Kidding…

gift
Kept My Mouth Shut
Even though I sweetened my conversation with sugar, honey, and maple syrup, it didn’t go over well at all, as a matter of fact, we got into a big argument.  Guess there’s no nice way to say, “I’m not feeling your gift.” His feelings were hurt. I wish I would’ve kept my mouth shut. Hopefully, he will get over it soon and we can move forward. If you are a man reading this, below are four ways to buy the perfect gift for your bae, boo, love, significant other, or whatever you call her:

Buy the gift with her in mind.  It’s not about you and has nothing to do with you. It’s about her. What does she like? What does she need? What does she want? 

Pay attention.  Keep your ears peeled for clues. Listen, listen, listen then listen some more. Has she mentioned a class she wants to take? Is there a new hobby she wants to pursue? Can you fulfill something on her Bucket List? 

Ask her what she wants/needs. You can’t go wrong when you ask. Sure it may not be romantic and it may seem less thoughtful, however, your goal is to please her and make her happy with said gift. 

Include a gift receipt.  Always a good idea. If she doesn’t like it, if it doesn’t fit, if she prefers a different color or just wants to get something else, she can without involving you. Give her an easy out, just in case.

I Thought Solely About You
In closing, remember to think solely about her when purchasing a gift. I need you to get this through your thick skulls; her gift has zero to do with you. When she opens it, she must feel like you really know her and what she’s about. Buying her a gift card to a store you like because it sells high end quality items is an epic fail if she doesn’t care for the store and never shops there. Got it?

Something to think about…

What say you? What would you do if you received a gift that simply did not work for you from your significant other? Would you speak up or would you pretend all is well? Have you ever had this experience? How did you handle it? 

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

1. Leave a comment below

2. Share this post if you like it

{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Dumebi January 7, 2017

One of my boyfriends in University bought me a set of white socks, Yvonne. We broke off after that.
That said, The magi were wise men–wonderfully wise men–who brought gifts to the Baby Jesus. They invented the art of giving meaningful Christmas gifts. Being wise, their gifts were wise ones. We should learn from them.

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Yvonne Chase January 7, 2017

@Dumebi,

White socks? Just white socks? Ha! Didn’t even think about the wise men. I’m all about wise gifts. Boy do we need wisdom in every area of our lives including buying gifts.

Thanks for the reminder:-)
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Celibacy, Purity And Up Front ConversationsMy Profile

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Julianna Hart January 8, 2017

I seriously regret not speaking up to my husband. He bought me a set of pots as a Christmas gift a couple of years ago and I’m still pissed to this day. Because I never said anything, all of the gifts he’s given me since have been down hill. Sure, they are nice gifts, but they are not things I want, like or speak to me.

A set of pots of nice, we need them, but they are more a gift for us than for me. I prefer a more personal gift; something for me, maybe a nice bottle of perfume or a beautiful scarf; I like scarves. There are lots of things I like that would be great gifts.

Reading this is giving me the courage to speak up. Like you, I so do not want to upset him and come off as ungrateful and unappreciative.

Thanks for this transparent post!

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Yvonne Chase January 9, 2017

@Julianna,

Your comment reminds me of my mother. I remember time back in the day when my siblings and I collectively got her a Christmas gift. It was some kind of kitchen gadget; a toaster, baking dish or something along those lines.

She screamed on us! I remember her saying, “I am not the house. I don’t wear this house on my back. Buy me a gift for me, something I can wear. Something I can use on my person. Something I like. Something I want.”

We never made that mistake again. From that moment forward, every gift I bought for her individually was something for her. I took the time to find out what she likes after that incident. Journals, scarves, perfume, taking her for a pedi and mani etc all made her smile and very happy.

That incident taught me a valuable lesson overall and is probably the reason I am so particular when buying gifts.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Celibacy, Purity And Up Front ConversationsMy Profile

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