He Must Have A College Degree If He Wants To Date Me

by Yvonne Chase on February 18, 2014

degree Education And Dating
Years ago while leading a Conversations with Coach Yvonne forum, we got on the topic of education and dating.  A lady in the audience said, “I will not date a man who does not have a college degree.  I have a Master’s degree.  I will not settle for anything less than a Bachelors degree.  I prefer he match my education but I’ll settle for a Bachelors.  He must have a college degree if he wants to date me.”

Nothing Sensible To Say
When I asked her why she was so emphatic about her stance, this Masters degree educated woman had nothing sensible to say.  It was simply what she wanted.  I then asked her what she would do if she met a guy who treated her well, shared similar goals and values, worked hard, took care of his life, had a great group of friends and family etc and she said, “I wouldn’t know those things about him if he didn’t have a degree.” Today while doing my daily  web crawl, I ran across an article titled; More Women Are Marrying Dumb Men.  Here’s what it said;

A study done by the Pew Research Center says, for the first time, women are marrying less educated men more than men are marrying less educated women.  According to 2012 U.S. Census data, 20.7 percent of women are married to men who have less education.  In 2012, 19.9 percent of men were married to women with less education.

 Researchers say the role reversal is more prevalent among newlyweds because younger women have surpassed men in higher education.  Among college educated newlyweds, 39% of women married a spouse without a college degree, but only 26% of men did so.

So, if you’re an unmarried man looking for a life on easy street, your time has come.  Go out there and find you a doctor, or even a nurse, but definitely not an attorney.  When she dumps you for someone younger and better looking you’re not going to want her to have a law degree.

NEWSFLASH: A man isn’t dumb just because he doesn’t have a college degree and a man isn’t smart just because he has a college degree!

Nothing To Talk About
A girlfriend and I discussed this over the weekend while adding her profile to an online dating site and she said the guy she dates must be educated.  She dated a guy in the past who wasn’t educated and he had nothing to talk about.  His conversation was extremely limited and that drove her crazy.  She has a Masters degree, works as a Teacher, spends hours at Barnes & Noble soaking up knowledge and loves learning.  Here’s what I said to her; just because the last uneducated guy had nothing to talk about doesn’t mean the next one will.  Its silly to write off all guys without a college degree.

A Total Turn On
Furthermore, a man isn’t necessarily a good catch because he has a college degree.  I remember meeting a well traveled man who had lots of wonderful things to talk about.  He was always introducing me to something new whether it was a new book, an article about an interesting topic, a new wellness treatment or fitness program  (we were both passionate about wellness and fitness) a new way of doing something etc. He was very, very smart and well versed.  The talker in me loved getting together with him for conversation.  It was stimulating and a total turn on.

What A Nightmare
The flip side of all that good stuff is he was the most sexist, misogynistic pig I’d ever met.  He blamed women for everything.  No matter the situation or scenario, it was always her fault.  I think he secretly despised women.  What a nightmare!  When all was said and done, his Bachelors from Stanford, Master’s from Yale and PhD from Brown meant nothing to me.  Before I care about whether a man has a college degree or not, I care about who he is as a person.  Maybe you should too?

Something to think about…

What say you? Would you date a guy who doesn’t have a college degree? Why? Why not? Did you marry a guy who doesn’t have a college degree? How’s that working for you? What does a college degree say about a man?

Here are two things I’d like you to do now:

1.  Leave a comment below

2.  Share this post if you like it

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Catherine Gacad February 19, 2014

that woman who is so adamant about only marrying someone with a college degree…so she wouldn’t date someone like steve jobs, bill gates, or mark zuckerberg since they were college dropouts? she’s a joke!

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aidde castro March 15, 2016

You don’t realize that bill gates actually DID something…he would not be bill gates if he had not created word! I will never date a guy who is either a college graduate or never went to college if he is not ambitious, hard worker, and always strives to better himself..that’s the point …who would want a lazy guy who settles for a 10 dollar job while im over there busting my but at school to become a doctor…come on!

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Jim June 8, 2016

I don’t think that these few outliers are the same as most people without a bachelors.

Bill Gates–1) from an educated family that had some money and connections 2) Gates was a student at Harvard 3) Gates and Paul Allen worked as programmers in high school for a public utility company 4) Gates did not drop out of Harvard until his computer business was so large it was either drop back or scale back the business–Gates chose to continue the successful business.

Most people without a college degree did not chose to drop out because they had a company so successful that they started–that they had to make a choice between stay in school or drop out. Most people who drop out of college do so for other (not as positive) reasons.

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Yvonne Chase February 19, 2014

Catherine,

She’s more than a joke! I understand the whole college degree conversation because I have a degree however, I wouldn’t dismiss a guy just because he didn’t have a degree no more than I would roll out the red carpet for a guy just because he did.

A college degree doesn’t mean that much to me when making my decision about a mate especially when everything else falls in line.

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Sid Silhouette February 20, 2014

Good article. I was a little reluctant at first; however, it shows that there is more to a man than having a degree.

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Yvonne Chase February 20, 2014

@Sid,

There is much more to a man than having a college degree…much more.

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Samantha Angell February 22, 2014

I can see both sides of the story. As somebody who is in the middle of doing my MBA, I see education as something that shows initiative and wanting to do better in life. If you can do this without college/MBA/etc, GREAT! I think the context of what she said is probably more important. I wanted to (and did) marry someone who shows initiative. College doesn’t mean everything, but I think in today’s world it means a lot (and is starting to mean even less, truthfully, as MBAs and PHDs become more and more common).

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Yvonne Chase February 22, 2014

Samantha,

I can see both sides of the story too because I have a college degree however, my issue is her not even giving the guy without a degree a chance. We are made up of so much more than our college degrees.

Also, a person can show initiative in many other ways besides obtaining a college degree even though that is a great way to show it.

College does not mean everything.

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Shelly Hendricks (@Renewed_Daily) February 22, 2014

Thanks for linking up with Recommendation Saturday! This is a great post! There is definitely more to ME than a degree, so I would hope whoever is interested would want to know more about me than he could find on paper. We should be willing to look into a person before we dismiss them. It’s not at all about “credentials”.

Heart Hugs, Shelly <3

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Yvonne Chase February 22, 2014

Thank you Shelly. We should look at a person before we dismiss them. I wouldn’t want to be dismissed just because I didn’t line up in some area. How about you get to know the whole of me first before writing me off. Like you, there is definitely a whole lot more to me than my college degree. Its definitely not all about “credentials.”

So glad I found Recommendation Saturday!

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Kimberly H. Smith March 4, 2014

My husband as an MBA and I tease him often about how much smarter he is than me. We fell in love in high school and I would not have cared if he decided not to go to college and graduate. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a woman wanting what she wants in a man. However certain “wants” will limit her chances of finding a man that will be all the other things she wants and needs.

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Yvonne Chase March 4, 2014

You’re absolutely right Kimberly, nothing wrong with wanting what you want however, I believe there is something not right about dismissing someone and not even giving them the time of day just because they don’t have a college degree.

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debbie July 26, 2015

i will not date a man without a degree.

At 26 I was finally able to finish my bachelors after putting myself through part time evening classes. I applied to law school and didn’t get in so I used my teaching certificate to teach.

Every year for the next three years I applied at 20+ law schools, spending thousands in app fees. I also decided to get an MA in School Counseling in case I never made it to law school. I took these masters classes on the weekend and continued to work full time.

In my spare time I studied for the LSAT and retook this law school admissions test three times and improved my score two of those three times.

I finally was accepted to a third tier law school and moved 1/2 way across the country to go to it. I was two weeks shy of 30 when I began and will be 35 next year when I graduate after attending part time evenings and teaching during the day.

The reason I include all of this is to show how different my life is than a guy that graduated high school and just went off to work. I honestly don’t feel even a little bit smarter than the day I started college, but I have accomplished a lot and I want to be with someone who accomplished a lot too.

I am not saying I want someone with my exact degree or who has struggled like I have, but I want someone that understands what it is like to put off everything in your life for a while and make sacrifices in order to improve yourself.

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Yvonne Chase July 30, 2015

@Debbie,

I understand why you wouldn’t date a man without a degree. You’ve invested a lot of time, energy and money into you. With that said, I hope you remain open to whomever God has for you…degree or not.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…There Are Levels To Choosing The Right MateMy Profile

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Onel Delorbe April 11, 2016

There a lot of men for whom college isn’t an option. I’m not going to drivel on and on about learning disabilities, female centered policies, the all but required middle to upper class upbringing or just never having that nurturing one requires to make it past university level education, but then let’s be realistic about a great majority of men out here, particularly minority men.

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