Hot Car, Hot Guy, Looks Or Money?

by Yvonne Chase on September 7, 2013

hot Hot Car or Hot Guy?
Last night on Twitter, one of my followers @RachelTRusso posed the following statement and question; “Watching Fast and Furious and wondering what most women would rather have: Hot car or hot guy?” My answer was, I don’t care about cars sooooooo…She then asked, “Looks or money? Say you have to choose between these 2 guys–their personality/character equal.”

I Care About Character
Another follower @thedatingtruth chimed in and said, “You have to go with looks! You can make your own money! Then again money might mean he’s very smart and that is very sexy!”  Since I had to choose, I went with money to which Rachel said, “You are in good company.  I ask my female clients this and most choose money! They don’t need the GQ model!” My final reply was, above all else money or looks, I care about character.

Looks Or Money?
For some reason, my brother came to mind when she asked the question about looks or money.  My brother was a looker when he was alive.  While I can’t speak on the specific dollar amount he made, I can speak on is his excellent character.  That’s what stood out about him more than anything else and that’s what everyone spoke about at his funeral; his character…the person he was.  The husband he was.  The father he was.  The leader he was.  The man he was amongst his friends and family.  My brother’s been gone three years.  When people talk about him to this day, the one thing they always talk about is his character.  That’s a great legacy to leave behind.

Who A Person Is vs. What A Person Does
We hear looks fade but when you see someone’s looks fade right before your eyes, it changes the way you look at things.  Before I went through this experience with my brother, I was never turned on by external factors.  That’s just not who I am.  After this experience, I care even less about external factors.  I was talking to a gentleman the other day who was going on and on about the kind of car he drives.  Apparently its some kind of hot car.  As he was talking about his car, he expected me to ask about it.  When I didn’t he said, “That’s a first.  Most women ask what kind of car I drive.”

I’ll Take It…In That Order
I believe him.  The kind of car you drive and how much money you make are huge relationship deciding factors here in Los Angeles.  My reply was, I’m not trying to be rude or disrespectful but I didn’t ask because I really don’t care.  I wouldn’t date you because of your car.  I would date you because of your character.  He was speechless! Now let me be clear, a man with excellent character who loves me unconditionally, makes a lot of money, drives a hot car and makes me weak in the knees is alright with me.  I’ll take it…in that order.

If you marry for money, health or looks, keep in mind that none of these are certain to remain.  The man or woman you’re thinking of marrying should be someone whose character can survive major life challenges.  Gary Thomas

Something to think about…

What say you? Hot car or hot guy? Looks or money? What matters most to you?

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

Rachel Russo September 7, 2013

Yvonne, I love this post! I am so happy to see that my tweet inspired your writing. I am glad to see you had such a strong example of a man with high quality character in your brother. I love the Gary Thomas quote and I think it puts everything about the match selection process into perspective. I encourage my clients to seek compatibility and someone of a good character. This comes first and foremost for me personally–though I must have physical attraction. I do like really attractive men and I do make my own money, but when it comes down to the question of looks or money, if I was forced to pick, I’d pick money. I would rather have a guy of average looks and higher income than a guy who was a GQ model living on Ramen noodles. I can care less about the car-though I’d be happy in a nice set of wheels-but am more concerned with being comfortable financially, being able to pursue goals, travel the world, and indulge my penchant for the finer things with my partner. I think income can reflect a lot about character-intelligence, work ethic, integrity, ability to maintain relationships-that six packs and dimples just can’t. So show me the money–ha! But only if you are a genuine guy with a good heart. Would love to hear others thoughts.

Reply

Yvonne Chase September 7, 2013

Rachel,

My brother was a great man!

Like you, I must have physical attraction. Can’t move forward without it. I chose money for all the reasons you mentioned; being comfortable financially is very important…to pursue goals, travel, create and enjoy new experiences and of course indulge my penchant for the finer things with my partner and also to be a blessing to others. No Ramen Noodle eating guys for me. Show me the money too…Its necessary!

Thanks for the inspiration…

Reply

Rachel Russo September 7, 2013

Yes! So glad you mentioned to be a blessing to others. That is something I’d really love to do in life to–to give back to people around me when I can financially. It would be nice to really be able to do big things-like buy my parents a second home or take all of my friends and family on an amazing vacation. A girl can dream.

You are very welcome. Look forward to reading more of your posts!

Reply

Yvonne Chase September 7, 2013

Rachel,

Helping those in need around me is SUPER important to me. My parents 50th wedding anniversary is next March and all I want to do is take them to Miraval in Arizona. I priced a 4 day stay and its upwards of $9000 and that’s not including flights. A girl can dream and ask God to open the windows of Heaven and pour out a blessing on me I don’t have room to contain. That is my prayer!

Reply

mike September 7, 2013

All I got from this is that women in LA are disgusting! To think that this would even be a question shows how degraded society is in Los Angeles. In other parts of the country it is not even something up for a debate, of course its character. I am really glad I do not live in LA with people this shallow.

Reply

Yvonne Chase September 7, 2013

Mike,

LA is beyond shallow. They do something here called car judging. If you’re not driving a nice car, you’re not getting asked out on a date.

I went on a date with a guy a few years back and when it was time to walk me to my car, he thought I was driving the slick Porsche parked next to my SUV. I kept telling him, no this is my car. The look on his face spoke volumes. Needless to say, I never heard from him again. That’s how people get down in LA and you’re right, its disgusting!

Its all about the external…what you drive, how much money you have, how you look, who you hang with, what you have access to etc.

Reply

Miss Solomon September 7, 2013

This is a wonderful post! It’s so easy to get caught up in what someone has (financially or materially) because our ego needs to be admired but the truth is when someone makes us feel amazing we hardly share it with others because its too special. Cars, money & looks people understand but character is so hard to describe. Always choose a man with character. He knows that’s materials possessions fade, true love lasts longer!

Reply

Yvonne Chase September 8, 2013

@Miss Solomon…Like you said, material possessions fade. Someone with good character will gladly stick around even after the possessions fade and the looks change.

Thanks for stopping by.

Reply

Sandra September 8, 2013

Hello;
I’m from the South, but I’m now living on the East Coast.
I like Guys with great Character, and A LOVE for JESUS !

Reply

Yvonne Chase September 8, 2013

Sandra,

A guy that loves Jesus is at the top of my list. His love for Jesus ought to affect his character in a great way. My brothers love for Jesus was responsible for his excellent character.

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Marcia September 8, 2013

Wow.. What an interesting article! Totally agree that character is at the top of the list. Given that the term may have different meaning to different folks, it helps to go one level deeper. I think the fruits of the spirit in Galatians is a good guide.

Reply

Yvonne Chase September 8, 2013

Marcia, Galatians 5 is definitely a great place to start when evaluating character. Thanks for mentioning it.

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