Why Do People Get Divorced?
My dear friend Sam and I had an in depth discussion today about putting God first. He said to me, why do people get divorced…even those that put God first? He asked this question based on yesterdays post; 4 Marriage Tips from LL Cool J’s Wife. If you read the first tip and my follow up explanation closely, in addition to putting God first, you have to keep God first. Keeping him first is the key. Its like saying I love you. You can’t just say I love you; you have to follow it up with action. Putting God first is followed up by keeping God first. The action of keeping God first is what makes marriage work.
You’re Not That Great!
He then asked, how do you keep God first? When he asked that question, I thought about my parents. Next year on March 30th, 2014 should God spare their lives, they will celebrate 50 years of marriage. That equals 18, 263 days of living together under the same roof while raising 8 children. While my parents were married in a day and time that valued marriage, I know for sure that keeping God first has been the glue that has kept them together. You can’t live with someone day in and day out for 18, 263 days in your own strength and make it work. You’re not that great! You need a power greater than you to sustain it.
Culture Shock!
Over those 18, 263 days, they’ve lived and relived their marriage vows; better or worse – we had a great life growing up in Nassau Bahamas. Worse came temporarily when we abruptly had to leave and come to America; new place, new people, new politics, new everything. It was a culture shock to say the least!
Ten Mouths to Feed
Better returned when we settled into our new home and my parents were able to realize the dream of their kids getting a good education in the U S of A. Poorer came when Dad couldn’t always find work. Richer showed up when he found work consistently with his brothers at Taystee Bakery. Poorer came back 12 years later when Taystee bakery decided to relocate to Pennsylvania and Dad found himself without work and ten mouths to feed.
Eating Him From the Inside Out
Sickness came when mom fell down the stairs at my brother’s wedding and had to have a total hip replacement. Lots of emotional pain, hurt and devastation came when they buried their oldest son two years ago at the young age of 47. Sickness came back in a scary way when Dad ended up in the hospital with a mini stroke and the possibility of a pacemaker all brought on by the pain of losing his son. It was eating from the inside out and almost took him out. Thankfully health returned and he is doing great with a healthy heart and no pacemaker.
Happy Times
There have been lots of happy times; Mom graduating college with one Bachelor and two Masters Degrees, attending the college graduations of 8 children, the birth of 17 healthy grandchildren, watching your grandchildren graduate from college while others receive full academic scholarships to attend top colleges, and lots of pivotal birthday celebrations including my dad’s 80th birthday blowout last year. 100 people came from the north, south, east and west came to wish him well. That was a happy day!
Agree – Disagree – Bicker
I have watched my parents go through many ups and downs. I have watched them agree, disagree and bicker with each other just like any other married couple. The one thing I’ve seen them do daily ever since I was a child is sit at the table for devotion. Dad grabs the Bible, Mom grabs the Daily Bread and together they have a time of reading and sharing the word of God. It’s one of the actions they take to keep God first in their marriage.
Two Way Street
In order to know someone and have their influence in your life, you have to spend time with that someone. When my parents spend time with God, its not only a time of them asking for his help, its also a time of receiving instructions on how to live. Praying just like reading the Bible is a two way street. We speak to God and he speaks to us. The old adage, couples who pray together stay together has proven to be true for my parents.
Something to think about
What say you? How do you keep God first in your marriage?
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