Going on a Date
Yes I know I’m a dating coach however, I don’t believe in dating. What society today calls dating doesn’t work. I believe in going on a date. That is what I teach my clients. I believe in having conversations. Many people today turn a first date or first few dates into a relationship then end up with heartache. Been there done that.
They’re sitting around somewhere looking like a deer in the headlights wondering why it didn’t work. It didn’t work because you didn’t know each other. It didn’t work because you weren’t intentional. You just went with the flow and ended up somewhere you didn’t want to be. My process is all about being intentional. I know it doesn’t sound romantic but why are you trying to be romantic with someone you don’t know?
Married or Single
The end result of my process is marriage. In my world, either you’re married or single. There’s no in between. No living together. No sleeping around. No trying each other on like shoes. No Love Jones “Just kickin it” scenarios. My process is all about vision. Its all about knowing your end from the beginning; what you want the outcome to be and being very focused on that. When you approach it that way, you will never find yourself somewhere you don’t want to be. You will know exactly where you want to be and you will know exactly how to get there.
The notion that you have to date someone for 365 days to find out if you want the same things is ludicrous to me. Last night I caught up on the latest episode of The Millionaire Matchmaker. In that episode, a female millionaire from Ohio came to Patti to meet her match. She forgot to tell Patti she is a Christian and needs her match to be one too therefore Patti didn’t screen for that criteria. The guy she chose cared nothing about religion. Here’s how the first date conversation went:
Him: Are you a spiritual person?
Her: Yes are you?
Him: I’d have to say I’m not at all. I’ve moved away from faith very young. I don’t believe in a higher being that knows everything about everything in the Universe. In her confessional she said, I’m a Christian, I believe in a higher being so I was a little thrown back by that.
Out of Her Comfort Zone
I’m so glad her date went against the norm and was brave enough to ask about spirituality. I’m glad she stepped out of her comfort zone and engaged him in that conversation even though she was one of those people who believed religion and politics are off limit. The way they navigated the first date is what I believe in. At the end of the date when she did her recap with Patti, she said she had a good time however; they didn’t have enough in common for a second date. One good first date conversation is all you need.
Something to think about…
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