Janet Jackson Could’ve Avoided Divorce And Single Motherhood

by Yvonne Chase on September 22, 2017

Hoped She Would Change
Although Janet Jackson is not receiving a paltry sum from her billionaire ex-husband Wissam Al Mana for their son Eissa, I believe it could’ve been avoided. Earlier today, I read an article that shares reasons why their marriage of five years came to an end. Basically, Wissam married Janet and hoped she would change into who he wanted her to be.

Janet
Couldn’t Be Herself Anymore
According to the article, Wissam wanted a traditional wife who stuck with Muslim traditions. After reading that, I wanted to know why he married her. Janet is not Muslim. She was raised in a Jehovah Witness household. Here’s more from the article:

Because of this, she started to wear burkas — full-length, loose-fitting outer garments — and stayed away from her former confidants. Janet felt like she couldn’t be herself anymore. She felt like her music was suffering and she resented Wissam. Janet couldn’t settle down and be what he wanted. Janet says she felt hidden from family and friends. Her life was sheltered and she felt like a prisoner in her own home.

Authority Over His Life
Let me bring you all into my world a little bit. I ended my relationship because of this kind of scenario. While my ex-professed to be a Christian, he’s involved with an organization that shares space with Jesus Christ. If I had to call it, I’d say this organization has more authority over his life than anything else. I don’t understand how one can profess Christianity yet be a part of something like this. In my mind and from where I sit, you can’t. 

Religion Not Relationship
In addition, he’s a Seventh Day Adventist. My recent understanding and observation of them is that many don’t have an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. Sure he goes to church, prays and reads the Bible but none of those things make us a Christian. From where I sit and what I saw, he’s got religion, not a relationship.

Couldn’t Live With It
Once I saw that up close and personal for what it is, I knew I couldn’t live with it long-term. You see, Jesus Christ and his word are the authority on my life. That is first place in my life and nothing and no one competes with it.

He’s Not A Christian
As much as I loved our relationship, I can’t be with a man no matter how kind and thoughtful he is, no matter how much love we have for each other, no matter how much amazing fun we have, no matter how much we have in common, no matter how deep our connection is and all the other great stuff, whose life tells me he’s not a Christian. 

Janet
Got On The Same Street
Two people can’t walk together unless they agree. He and I don’t agree and Janet and Wissam don’t agree. I ended my relationship before divorce which would’ve been inevitable unless we got on the same street. Unfortunately, for Janet, it didn’t work out that way.

Drain The Blood
I’ve always been of the mind that interfaith relationships don’t work when your faith is a lifestyle, not just a label. Muslims, many of them, take their faith very seriously. It’s a lifestyle. It’s the blood that runs through their veins. Unless you plan to drain the blood, I suggest you date someone of the same faith.

Talk About Faith
I wonder what Janet and Wissam talked about while dating. Here’s my tip to you; if your faith is a lifestyle, make sure you talk about it and how it factors into every area of your life otherwise you just might end up like Janet and your baby daddy will not be a billionaire.

Janet
Something to think about…

What say you? What are your thoughts on interfaith relationships? Can they work? 

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

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{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }

Liz September 22, 2017

You make some great points here! And as I embark on my own series about marriage I’ll be taking your word to heart. It is so important that faith be discussed before marriage and then be the rock upon which strong marriages are upheld. That being said, I believe God can use even already unequally yoked marriages to bring about His good purposes. All hope is not lost for those who’ve found themselves in this hard place! Blessings!
Liz recently posted…When Marriage Gets Messy – IntroMy Profile

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Yvonne Chase September 22, 2017

@Liz,

All hope is not lost however, I don’t believe we find ourselves in this hard place. Wissam knew Janet isn’t Muslim. If he wanted a traditional wife with traditional Muslim values, that is the woman he should’ve married.

If I didn’t pay attention to the handwriting on the wall, I would’ve ended up like Wissam and Janet. No way I could say I found myself in that hard place when the hard place showed itself before I walked down the aisle.

1 Corinthians 7 has lots of advice for those married to an unbeliever, however, I believe that scenario happens when two unbelievers marry and one becomes a believer. Marrying an unbeliever is a direct no-no from scripture.

Often times we don’t find ourselves in hard places. We put ourselves in hard places because we ignored the red flags and erased the handwriting on the wall.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Dear Future Husband, I’m Not Writing You A LetterMy Profile

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Yulunda September 23, 2017

Great read and no lies have been told! As I was beginning to read this, I couldn’t help but wonder why Janet opted to marry someone who has a strong Muslim lifestyle! Surely she reasoned with herself and simply decided that she’d be the one to make it work! Oil and water may blend well and be delicious and satisfying but always separates!

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Yvonne Chase September 24, 2017

@Yulunda,

Last time I checked, oil and water don’t blend well at all, as a matter of fact, they don’t mix.

Both Janet and Wissam are responsible. He should’ve found a devout Muslim woman and she should’ve said no to him unless of course, she wanted a filthy rich baby daddy.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Dear Future Husband, I’m Not Writing You A LetterMy Profile

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angie September 23, 2017

great post that makes sense considered shared

come visit us at http://shopannies.blogspot.com

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Michele Morin September 26, 2017

Cheering you on, Yvonne!
Michele Morin recently posted…Musings — September 2017My Profile

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Dean October 1, 2017

This was an interesting read, I appreciated hearing your take on it as well as your own similar situation. I think it really depends on the people in the relationship. I’ve seen couples who work despite differences, but I’ve also seen some fail.
I totally agree with you, I wonder what their discussions were before they married. I imagine this had to be a topic, no? This would be huge for me.
Anyway, I hope they can work things out in non-nasty way for the baby’s sake. Let me be clear I’m not saying get back together, I mean settling things.
You should be able to feel like yourself in love.
Thanks for sharing with us at #mmbh 🙂

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Kyndra October 3, 2017

Janet and Wissam were only married 4 years & a few months. She’s got her own money & will be just fine without her ex husband’s money. You’ve based an entire blog post on rumors so unless you have had an exclusive sit down with her – ease up. She never converted to her ex husband’s faith but out of respect she did adopt the style of dress that is typical of women living in Quatar.

Sometimes women date men at certain times in their because of certain circumstances. In this instance, her brother passed and Wissam entered her life. He possibly provided the chance to retreat from the public eye – something she has never had the opportunity to do. I’m sure it was nice to be out of the limelight, no demands on her time, no prying eyes or questions about her family.

A baby resulted from that union and the world knows Janet Jackson isn’t about to be some stereotypical single black mother.

Your blog is cool but please get off your high horse with the superiority tone.

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Yvonne Chase October 3, 2017

@Kyndra,

My blog is cool and so am I. Thank you.

You seem to have missed the entire point of this post which is she could’ve avoided divorce which is extremely painful and single motherhood, which is not easy.

Of course, she won’t be the typical black single mother because she is Janet Jackson and she has more money than most, however, the child will miss out on the benefit and beautiful blessing of being raised in a committed two-parent home.

He will miss out on the opportunity of seeing his parents love each other, disagree with each other, resolve issues etc. He will miss out on seeing his dad interact with his mother daily and vice versa and he will be shuttled back and forth in a way God did not intend.

Your entire second paragraph is also speculation that I read in news reports, yet you nor I know if any of it is true, however, you speak on it as if it is. Did you have a sit down with Janet?

In real life, I know a man who married because it filled the void of losing his brother. Bad reason to marry. Marriage filled that void temporarily and offered a place to retreat. Today he is divorced and his soul is wounded twice and not healed. He takes that baggage to every relationship and wounds every woman capable of loving him.

Every day, women and men marry for the wrong reasons leaving a lot of broken hearts and wounded people in the process. All of it can be avoided.

Like I said, if it is true that Wissam wanted a traditional wife who lived out traditional Muslim values, he should’ve married that woman not try to change Janet into that woman.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Unequally Yoked Relationships Lead Us To A Hard PlaceMy Profile

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Tami Qualls October 6, 2017

When you marry someone who doesn’t believe the same way you do, you will find it difficult to parent that child you have together. I am praying for this child to know Jesus as his savior.

Looking forward to more literacy-related posts at Literacy Musing Mondays.
Tami Qualls recently posted…Look & Find Bible StorybookMy Profile

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