Juan Pablo Didn’t Say I Love You And I’m Not Mad At Him

by Yvonne Chase on March 13, 2014

Juan The Chosen One
Juan Pablo threw a monkey wrench in the always happy ending of The Bachelor and I’m glad he did.  Usually, the season ends with the Bachelor and his final pick strolling down a long aisle in some exotic region of the world to a fancy proposal with an engagement ring from Neil Lane Jewelers.  Not this season.  The last two women standing were Claire Crawley, who gave him a good chunk of her mind before leaving and Nikki Ferrell; the chosen one.

I Like You A Lot
Everyone watching thought Nikki was going to drift off into the sunset in Juan’s arms with a sparkling diamond engagement ring.  Nikki even thought that would be her reality.  She professed her love to Juan then finally said, I love you; something she’d been waiting and wanting to say all season long.  She was expecting to hear I love you in return.  That’s what most people expect don’t they?  She didn’t hear it.  Instead, she heard, “I like you a lot…a lot.”  Instead of receiving an engagement ring, she received a final red rose.  Here’s what he said that pissed everyone off; “I have a ring here in my pocket and I’m not going to use it.  I’m not 100% sure I want to propose to you, but at the same time I’m 100% sure I don’t want to let you go.”

Juan

Speak Your Truth
Everyone gagged and called Juan all types of ungodly names because of his honesty.  He’s been dubbed “The Worst Bachelor Ever” and “The Most Hated Bachelor” in franchise history.  I’m not mad at Juan.  It takes courage, in that moment, when all eyes are on you expecting you to say what they want to hear but instead you speak your truth.  I wish more singles would follow his lead.  You shouldn’t propose if you’re not ready and you shouldn’t say I love you if you don’t mean it.

Honesty Is The Most Important Thing
How many times have you said I love you in return just because that’s what’s expected? That’s why the relationships, if we can call them that on the Bachelor, never work.  People are caught up in the moment and they say I love you to save face and give the show a happy ending.  The show producers were mad at Juan for ruining their expectation.  They’ll get over it or they won’t.  Either way, Juan was honest with himself and he was honest with Nikki.  Honesty is the most important thing in any relationship. 

The Charade Is Over
Now that the charade is over, he and Nikki can focus on getting to know each other in a real way without the lights, cameras and producers.  Here’s what he told People magazine, “I don’t feel there’s a need to propose to somebody if I don’t feel 100%.  I didn’t know Nikki.  I want to know more, a lot more.  It’s our start now. We can get to know each other fully. We’re not in a rush.” Smart guy! Maybe if other Bachelors  followed his lead, the show would have a better success rate.

Something to think about…

What say you? Have you ever said I love you just because its expected? What do you think about Juan Pablo’s honesty? Did you watch this season/finale? What are your thoughts?

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{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

AwesomelyOZ March 14, 2014

You know I watched this – the only bachelor I’ve ever watched in my life. And I have to say I wasn’t mad at him, disgusted a bit but not mad at him. Honestly, the girls should have had more self respect than what they portrayed during that show. Claire was just – oh that poor girl it was hard to watch… He said something to her on their last date, something along the lines of “you were a fun hookup” and she was SOOO upset then he just woooed her again and she let it go. Said something about “I wanted to talk to him, I wanted answers” – he gave them to you, he told you all you need to know during your last “date.” I highly disapprove of this show and their message of “true love” because that’s not how it works at all. I agree with you though, he was honest – and no matter what at least he didn’t say ‘i love you’ in vain. Have a great one Yvonne! -Iva

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Yvonne Chase March 14, 2014

Iva,

I don’t understand Claire being upset with Juan when she practically threw herself all over him. You’re not exactly sending a message of virtue when you invite a guy to get in the hot tub with you at four in the morning. Sure it was disrespectful when he told her I like hooking up with you (he didn’t use hooking up by the way) but what exactly did she expect? He saw her as a good time girl not the step mother to his daughter!

I don’t like this show at all and can’t believe its been on for 18 seasons with the same formula of women doing everything they can to get the guy while he reaps all of the benefits. Why any woman would sign up for that is beyond me.

This show is not about true love. Its about lust…period! You can’t find true love in the midst of fantasy. He was honest. He didn’t do the expected proposal nor did he say I love you just because. For that I respect him and wish other Bachelors would follow suit.

When is this show going to end?

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Simone March 15, 2014

I don’t watch the show but I absolutely agree with you. People seem to forget that it takes a WHOLE lot more than love to make a relationship work.

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All Talk Entertainment March 15, 2014

Love is not something to play with. You don’t say it if you don’t mean it. So I’m not hating on Juan at all. I’ve told my son from the time he was little, when you starting dating be honest from the door what it is you want with that woman. Juan said he likes her a lot…a lot and that’s how he feels. Now go and get into the real relationship now that the cameras are off. You just may not be the perfect match for one another.

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Yvonne Chase March 15, 2014

Exactly! He said he likes her a lot and he wants to get to know more about her. Now they can know more about each other in their own way and in their own time without any pressure. Kudos to Juan and kudos to you for teaching your son such a valuable lesson at an early age. Honesty is always the best policy even when 40 million people are watching.

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Yvonne Chase March 15, 2014

@Simone,

Furthermore, love has nothing to do with The Bachelor. Its a complete lustfest which is why the success rate is so low. How can you really get to know someone when you’re sucking face with 25 women vying for your attention? Its impossible! Juan did the right thing!

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Kim @ row L seat 1 March 15, 2014

Amen! I am one of the few who is also in favor of what JP did. Did you watch the After the Rose segment where Chris Harrison kept putting words in JP’s mouth and saying that he had found love? That part was driving me crazy! I realize that despite The Bachelor claiming to be a “reality” show, it is pretty much scripted… but at least respect the poor guy for staying true to his feelings! Stopping by from SITS Sharefest. 🙂

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Yvonne Chase March 15, 2014

@Kim,

Chris Harrison was so annoying. I wanted to slap him. He’s so vested in the happy ending proposal of the show that he couldn’t see the benefit of Juan’s honesty or respect it.

I hope future Bachelors and Bachelorettes follow his lead. Thanks for stopping by!

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DrJulieAnn March 16, 2014

I haven’t watched the show since Brad(?) was vilified as the most hated bachelor in the franchise’s history eons ago. I guess he’s lost that title?

The Mister and I have been together for 34 years and the depth of our intimacy continues to amaze me as it continues to grow deeper every day. But here’s the thing–it has taken 34 years for it to reach this point; it didn’t happen overnight or even within six weeks like these “romance in a bubble” shows make it seem can happen.

So, honesty doesn’t make good television but it sure goes a long way in creating an amazing relationship!

(stopping in from the SITSSharefest)

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Yvonne Chase March 16, 2014

Dr Julie Ann,

Yea, honesty doesn’t make good TV at all. The Bachelor is all about “Romance in a Bubble” relationships. We all know it doesn’t work like that which is why I’m baffled this show has been on for 18 seasons!!! So glad Juan didn’t cave in to the pressure of TV.

Congrats on 34 years of an amazing relationship and thanks for stopping by! SITSTAHS ROCK!

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Catherine Gacad March 20, 2014

i thought it was so strange how everyone was mad at juan pablo for being honest! some people need to get their heads checked if they think that after a few weeks of dating someone, that there should be a proposal. really?!

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Yvonne Chase March 20, 2014

@Catherine,

That’s why I had to write about it. I didn’t understand all the backlash at all.

Expecting a proposal from someone who is dating others simulataneously and feeding them the same line of crock is ludicrous!

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Kimberly Amici March 21, 2014

I can’t believe everyone is made at him either. Honesty is the best way to go.
Remember the bachelor that ‘made a mistake’ and picked the wrong girl? I thought that was awesome. Not that he did that but that he was honest and in the end he ended up with the right one, the one he sent home.

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Yvonne Chase March 21, 2014

I remember that episode Kimberly and now they are happily married and enjoying their new born baby. Honesty is always the best way to go. Kudos to Juan for staying true to him in spite of the millions of eyes watching.

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sheslosingtogain March 26, 2014

I don’t think he should have said I love you if he didn’t mean it BUT I wish they had selected another guy. This was a bad season if you ask me.

All the women that left followed their guts and I’m sure they are glad they did.

There were warning signs all season that this wouldn’t end well.
sheslosingtogain recently posted…Healthy Soul FoodMy Profile

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