Mouth Watering
So my neighbor wants to cook dinner for me. He wants to prepare a salmon steak with bone in marinated in lemon and garlic then baked to perfection in a butter sauce w/capers. To that he wants to add herb roasted potatoes and a fresh mixed green salad. Is your mouth watering? Mine is. Salmon is my favorite fish. Oh and he wants to throw in some kind of persian pastry for desert and a nice bottle of wine. I don’t drink.
Time to Workout
He invited me to the gym with him one day and that is the day he talked to me about dinner. I said yes to the gym because I love to workout. In addition, I wanted to see this swanky new gym that I thought was reserved for exclusive membership only. Turns out anyone can go if they’re willing to pay top dollar. After a great workout, I said thank you and went on about the business of my day. Apparently he didn’t like that and caught an attitude; he was expecting more.
Is He Wearing a Sun Dress?
Another neighbor recently invited me to a fish fry. He then told me he likes sun dresses. I thought to myself, is he wearing one? Why is he telling me that? Turns out he wanted me to wear a sun dress for him. I declined his invite because I thought the sun dress request was a bit forward and inappropriate. I’m your neighbor not your date. When I declined his invite, he called to discuss. He wanted to know if I declined because of the sun dress request and I said yes. We talked about it and he went on to say, Yvonne, you’re very attractive and men are going to be attracted to you. I want to see you. Every time you stop by, you’re covered up. Sidebar: If I stop by your place from my place downstairs to watch the game, don’t expect me to be dressed in heels and a body hugging dress so you can “see” me.
Black and White
I thanked him for the compliments and let him know that I’m only interested in being a friendly and cordial neighbor…nothing more. If I start dressing for him and going places with him as his date, the boundary is crossed and now we’re hanging out in fifty shades of grey. I don’t do grey – I do black and white. After we discussed it a bit, he said, Let me know if you still want to roll to the fish fry. I think it’ll be cool if we go as “friends.” Of course I never heard from him again.
Neighbors Night In?
If you ask me, cooking dinner for someone and inviting them into your home is intimate. Now if it was neighbors night in with a few of us potluck style, I’d be down but one-on-one is doing way too much and sending a message I don’t want to send. The whole notion of men and women being “just friends” is a notion that can be very tricky especially when the man is attracted to the woman and makes wardrobe requests when he invites her out or up to his place to watch a game of good basketball.
What say you…Can men and women be “just friends?” Does it work for you? Have you met a man that is solely interested in being “just friends?” I don’t know how a man can be just friends if he is attracted to you and lusting for you in his loins. Can someone preferably a man tell me how that works and if it works at all?
Something to think about…
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Yvonne, great article. I have friends from childhood who happen to be guys. And, co-workers, too! Hmmmm.. this is a great question. I am curious what others will say….
Great article Yvonne ,Thanks…I think generally at some point one party is more interested than the other..but if you get thru that transition you can have some great long term friendships with the opposite sex..
I agree. My issue with both of my neighbors is I don’t believe they were interested in being “just friends” especially the one with the sundress request. He clearly wanted more and wasn’t honest enough to say it. That’s where things get messy between men and women…when we’re not honest.
I think you have to make the boundaries clear–if you don’t want to be more than friends there must be a conversation! Once there is a conversation and that person steps out of line –there is a problem
Agree. There must be a very honest conversation about what both people want.
Yes, you can. You need to make sure that boundaries are set. I also think that having your spouse needs to be included in your “friendship” by “hanging” out with each other. I think the question is based on “trust.” Do you trust yourself and your friend not to cross the boundary?
Yes, men and women can be friends. I have wonderful male friends, some even came to my first baby shower. As long as both are honest about their intentions and no disrespects any boundaries. Also friendships change when one is in a relationship. You have to respect their partner or spouse.
Yes they can be just friends! My best friend is a male and we’ve been friends through it all, including relationships, breakups, and marriages. Never once being a rebound but just a support and shoulder to lean on. Being honest and true to each other knowing that we both want each other in our life, but not as the significant other
@Jessica…is there any attraction between you and your male friend? Its very easy for men and women to be friends when neither is attracted to the other.