Christian Singles Chat Rewind: Let’s Make Out?

by Yvonne Chase on September 6, 2013

christian singles

Eating Face?
Tonight’s Christian singles chat was all about making out or as one participant calls it, eating face.  I’ve never ever heard it called that.  I’ve heard sucking face, tonsil hockey and swapping spit.  Eating face? That’s a new one for me.

Kissing And Petting
We tackled the question, should Christian singles be making out? Before we could answer it, we needed to define making out.  Making out according to the group is kissing and heavy petting.  Everything except the “actual act” of having sex.  When you join mouth and tongue with someone, and caress them…aka “eating face.” With that definition on the table, we answered the question of the hour, should Christian singles be making out?

@GetACommitment said, A lot of people call themselves Christians but don’t practice abstinence.  But no, they should not be making out, as that would lead to sex.

@MsPoohB said, I would say NO, because this will tempt the flesh and can/will lead to the actual act.

@Lundy08 said, No, but many do. Some do so to keep the other from leaving them. 

Preserving Sexual Relations
Next we talked about preserving sexual relations until marriage.  Is it possible to abstain from sex if we’re making out? I don’t think its possible.  I think its playing with fire and we all know what happens when we do that.

@MarioHampton said, you cannot because emotions and feeling are involved.

@GetACommitment said, I think it is possible but very difficult for men physiologically to make out and not have sex. When men get turned on then brakes put on, they get upset/angry. Women need not put themselves in that position.

@Lundy08 said, it’s hard to; one thing can lead to another. It’s hard to put the fire out once it starts burning.  Sometimes all it takes is a spark.

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses
From there we segued over to some of the excuses we make when we fall into sexual sin;  “It just happened” is at the top of the list.  Does it just happen or do our actions make it happen?

@Lundy08 said, “it just happened” is an old excuse to justify a wrong.  Equivalent to “the devil made me do it.”

@LolaOcean said, I believe sin starts in your mind before you act on it. To us it ‘just happened’ but really it took more time.

@GetACommitment said, It just happened is like saying, “I don’t have any control over my own actions.”  Alcohol is another preventable excuse.

How Far Can We Go?
Next we talked about how we approach the physical part of relationships; “How far can we go w/out having sex” seems to be the approach of many Christian singles. Is that the best approach?

@Lundy08 said, not at all, you end up going too far and then it’s too late 2 turn back. You start at base 1, then go to 2…

Clear Boundaries In Place
I don’t think that’s the best approach at all.  It never worked for me.  You always want to go further than you went the last time.  I believe a better approach would be to ask ourselves, how can I honor God in the physical realm of this relationship then have clear boundaries in place to protect each other from sexual sin.  Both people have to be on the same page.  Both people have to want to do it Gods way.

Wait Until Wedding Day?
The last question of the evening was, “And NOW you may kiss the bride” is said at the end of every wedding.  Should we wait until our wedding day to kiss to avoid making out? One day while listening to Christian radio, I heard a pastor break down that line of the ceremony and he said, “Your wedding day should be the first time you kiss your bride.  I’d never heard that in my life!

@missChris21 said, I know I couldn’t. I think you can kiss (pop kisses if you don’t wanna make out) before marriage.

@Lundy08 said, No kissing at all? I don’t know about that, must be a short engagement.  Some people actually do that but I wouldn’t, to be honest. I personally would not take it that far.

@GetACommitment said, The less physical contact I believe the better but realistically most people believe they need to kiss before marriage.   I dated someone for months and barely kissed and never made out. Great tension! I truly believe men respect women who have those boundaries and state them early and stick to them.  And dress modestly.

Do not arouse or awaken my love Until she pleases.  Song of Solomon 8:4

Something to think about…

P.S. That’s a snapshot of the overall discussion.  Follow me on Twitter to read the full thread.

What say you? What does the term making out mean to you? Should Christian singles be making out? Should we wait until our wedding day to kiss to avoid making out? Do you know anyone who’s done that? What’s the best way to preserve sexual relations until marriage?

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