Is Marrying Young the Solution to Sexual Impurity?

by Yvonne Chase on April 12, 2013

Marry Young
Yesterday I read a blog that talked about our current culture of sexual impurity and immorality. The writer Mark Gungor; a pastor, husband, father and grandfather said, “The Bible’s solution to sexual immorality among our young people is to simply encourage marriage (1 Cor 7). But rather than obey the Bible, we have been polluted by a pagan culture that has convinced us that young marriage is a terrible thing.  Despite the fact that studies show the single greatest contributor to divorce is sexual activity before marriage, we foolishly ignore the dangers of sexual promiscuity and ignorantly treat it as no big deal.”

young

Here’s a bit of what 1 Corinthians 7:1-9 says in the New King James Version (NKJV):

Let them Marry
“1It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. 3 Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. 7 For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. 8 But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” Pretty straight forward right?

After reading the blog, I went straight to Twitter to hear what others think.  I tweeted the following; “Read a blog earlier today that said marrying young is the cure to sexual impurity and immorality.” Below is the conversation:

@ConventionalDee I disagree. I don’t think marriage cures anything. If those impulses are there some people will act on them regardless.

@YvonneChaseLA good point. What do you think about marrying young?

@ConventionalDee I think it’s a terrible idea. You don’t know yourself and you are immature and you have unrealistic expectations.

@YvonneChaseLA so what’s a good age to marry? Is it possible to know yourself when you’re young?

@ConventionalDee I was 27 when I 1st got married, and I did not know myself or trust myself. I got married for all the wrong reasons. Some women may know themselves better than I did. I told my niece & nephew to wait until they’re 30 to marry. 2nd marriage I was 34, and it’s so much better than I ever imagined. But that’s because I matured.

@YvonneChaseLA why did you tell them to wait till 30? What if they meet someone great before then?

@ConventionalDee I think in order to be a good spouse you have to bring certain experiences into the marriage. I was a better wife once I got into living my life and doing the things that made me happy. I was finally my own complete person first.

@YvonneChaseLA I definitely agree with living your life and finding out who you are as an individual.

@ConventionalDee that’s why I say wait until 30. Go to school, travel, live on your own, get a career, pick up some hobbies, and then find your mate.

@YvonneChaseLA I like that formula. There is much to do while single besides being a man whore or a slut.

@ConventionalDee for us it was, because at that time we didn’t have the tools to be good spouses. We would’ve ended in divorce for sure! I think society puts too much pressure on marital status and not enough on self development. I strongly feel if we encouraged people to pursue quality life experiences instead of instant physical gratification, we’d all be better when it’s time to marry.

@DoomedSnglBish I don’t think you age out of being susceptible to promiscuity or immorality.

@YvonneChaseLA the blog was saying if you marry young, you short circuit perversion & promiscuity because you have a spouse for regular sex

@DoomedSnglBish that’s assuming your spouse meets your sexual needs. Or you’re even communicating them. People cheat. Marriages end.

@YvonneChaseLA those are interesting points. Can a couple work on meeting each other’s sexual needs?

@DoomedSnglBish I totally think so! U have to be honest about what u want & not let what u think your partners reaction is gonna be stop u!

@YvonneChaseLA I agree. A younger person may not be mature enough to do that or they might be.

Looks like we may need to marry fresh out the womb like those kiddies in the picture up top because sexual activity is starting real early these days.

Something to think about…

What say you? Is marrying young the solution to sexual impurity and immorality? Leave comments!

P.S. Since this blog is longer than the attention span of most today, come back next week for part two.  Its gonna be good!

{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Charles April 12, 2013

Not by a long shot. If one of your primary motives for marrying is to have sex, then you’re marrying for the wrong reason. Period. How many of us knew what we really wanted in life at 18, 19, 20 or even 25? If we were to be honest, only a small percentage. Marriages rooted in sexual desire and horniness often fail and that’s the last thing anyone really wants.

There has to be a better way to teach young people to challenge their sexual desires and energies into something positive instead of jumping into a marriage just to jump into bed.

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Yvonne Chase April 12, 2013

You know what Charles, maybe the divorce rate for Christians is higher than non Christians because two horny nut baskets hook up at the altar, get married, have a few rounds of hot butt naked sex and then what?

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Charles April 15, 2013

Yvonne, I think you’re right on that and back to my earlier point about the need for teaching young people how to handle their sexual desires. Masturbation is taboo in many religious circles but isn’t it better to masturbate once a week instead of rushing to the altar, jumping in bed and ending up with an unwanted child and a divorce one to three years later?

Communication is key as always and if two people are strong enough to admit that they’re just marrying for sex, then don’t we have an obligation to offer them more acceptable alternatives?

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Yvonne Chase April 15, 2013

Charles, I say no to masturbating once a week. Once a week can turn into once a day. That’s not the solution. Masturbation is wrong.

There needs to be transparent conversations about sex, masturbation, pornography, why waiting is good, what to do if you’ve had unmarried sex, what sex is, the spiritual elements to sex etc. These are the types of conversations the church/religious circles need to have and we need to have them in the most transparent way possible.

The world has perverted sex. They talk about it in TV commercials, songs, movies, magazine ads and articles etc yet we, the children of God who created sex are afraid to use the word sex, penis and vagina. I’ve been going to church all my life and I have yet to hear the church discuss this in an open, transparent, appealing way.

The solution to sexual impurity and immorality is deepening and maturing in your relationship with God. Its understanding why he asks us to wait. Its understanding what we’re waiting for. Its about getting to a place in your walk with God where you want to please him more than yourself because he is so good to you. Deepening that relationship is the answer along with a deep understanding of his creation of sex.

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Charles April 16, 2013

Yvonne,

On an intellectual and idealistic level your comments on right on target but on a practical level you’re asking for much more than I dare say at least 90 percent of 18-24-year-olds are even willing to consider unless they are are the mature 10 percent.

Perhaps if those who have boldly and bravely taken on such a worthy endeavor were more public about their struggles and successes, more young people would have role models around which to shape their own journeys. Shaun Alexander, who had a brilliant but brief career with the Seattle Seahawks, is one of those who did it the right way without the Tim Tebow sideshow effect. Until those role models step up, it’s a 50-50 proposition at best.

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Anonymous April 17, 2013

But ironically the person that wrote this passage of the bible was Paul, who was well known for his singleness while he was ministering the word of God.
Marriage isn’t a cure, the one who made the institution is. Fear God and obey him, if he leads you towards a spouse cool, if not cool. The married person is not any better in God’s eyes than the single one, he loves us all the same. The key to all sin, including sexual immorality, is drawing closer to God and leaving our own selfish desires.
Grace is the only cure that’s everlasting.

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Yvonne Chase April 17, 2013

@Anonymous love this…If he leads you towards a spouse cool, if not cool. In addition, Paul did encourage everyone to remain single like him. If Gods grace can keep Paul, it can keep us.

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misssrobin April 27, 2013

I think everyone’s different. I’ve known people who were more mature at 16 than others at 35. I don’t think it’s about age. I also don’t think it’s entirely about maturity and knowing who you are. I think marrying young has it’s advantages, too. Instead of just becoming who you want to be, you grow into who you are together. You can fit better because as you were still growing this other person was already in your life.

I married at 20. My husband was 23. We’ve been married 23 years. Always happy? Of course not. But I wouldn’t change a thing. I would still marry young if the same opportunity happened. We have five children and I had my last one when I was 27. That means we’ll both be under 50 when our youngest turns 18. Still plenty of life left to be selfish after that.

I think people who stay single too long can become quite selfish (not all of them; I know lots of single people who aren’t). Serving another person through marriage promotes maturity and growth. It helps us be better. If we let it.

I just don’t think there is one rule that works for everyone. I think everyone should choose for themselves. And I think we should support each other in our choices.

Happy Sharefest. I hope you have a lovely weekend. And a great conversation on this.

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Yvonne Chase April 27, 2013

@MissRobin…I love it when you say this, “I think everyone should choose for themselves and I think we should support each other in our choices.”

Thanks for contributing to a great conversation.

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