Missing Tile Syndrome Ruins Our Single Lives And Marriages

by Yvonne Chase on November 28, 2017

Undermines Our Happiness
Earlier today, I watched a fascinating video where I learned about the Missing Tile Syndrome. It’s a real thing that undermines our happiness.  Essentially, the video asks, “Where is your focus? Is your focus on what’s missing in your life or is it on what’s present?” 

Miserable Situation
Many singles focus on the relationship we think we need to feel whole and fulfilled and as a result, go from one miserable situation to the next. 

Sabotage The Possibility
On the flip side, single men and women meet great potential mates day in and day out, however, we sabotage the possibility of a great relationship because our focus is on the missing tile in each person we meet. Listen to what Dennis Prager says in the video below and we’ll talk after…

Finding Perfection
I can only imagine how many great women are passed up by men with his thought process because of the Missing Tile Syndrome. Looks like this type of man forgets he has missing tiles too; we all do. It would behoove us to remember this as we meet, greet and make decisions about whom we want to move forward with, in a relationship. Many of us are single because our focus is on finding a perfect person that doesn’t exist. 

Living In Bliss
The Missing Tile Syndrome could also be the reason so many are unhappily married and file for divorce. My colleague who shared the video with me says, “While 50% of marriages end in divorce, that doesn’t mean the other 50% are living in bliss. Many aren’t, they simply have a higher tolerance for misery.” The root of much of our misery whether married or single could very well be the Missing Tile Syndrome. 

missing
2 ways to beat the Missing Tile Syndrome:

1. Count your blessings and be thankful. We celebrated Thanksgiving just last week, but I gotta tell you, every day is a day of thanksgiving for me.  I live in a place of deep gratitude daily because God is so good to me. I thank him daily for every aspect of my life and the discipline he gives me to live a great single life and date smart. It’s only because of him that I’m not miserably married or divorced. To God be the glory! 

2. Don’t compare. Comparison is the thief of joy. So many singles think married life will be better than single life then end up a statistic. I read an article recently over at Desiring God and came across this quote that’s a great reminder to singles; “The loneliest people I know aren’t the single ones, but those in a difficult marriage.” Thank God for your single life and submit every area of it to him. He has a great plan in store.

Perfectly Imperfect
As Dennis says in the video, we can replace the missing tile in a ceiling and make it perfect again, however, there’s no such thing as a perfect person or perfect life. Each life, whether single or married has enough trouble of its own.

missing
Something to think about…

What say you? Had you ever heard of the Missing Tile Syndrome? What effect does it have on your life? How does it affect your single life or married life?

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Michele Morin November 28, 2017

Wow, I’ve never heard of it by this name, but I’ve sure battled it! Thanks for pointing out that this tendency to focus on lack has ruined many relationships!
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Yvonne Chase November 29, 2017

@Michele,

If we’re honest, we’ve all battled with the Missing Tile Syndrome. The battle seems to be stronger today with social media. God help us to focus on what we have instead of what’s missing.
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Lisa notes November 28, 2017

Counting our blessings and not comparing is great advice for any of us, anywhere! Thanks for sharing, Yvonne. I hadn’t heard of the Missing Tile Syndrome.
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Lisa Appelo @LisaAppelo.com November 29, 2017

I really like this perspective! It’s true for all of us…we can begin to hyperfocus on the one thing that isn’t, rather than all that is. Thank you for sharing!
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Yvonne Chase November 29, 2017

@Lisa,

So true! What you say is especially true when it comes to romantic relationships. Couples divorce daily because of the hyperfocus on what’s missing. Same is true for singles.
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KellyRBaker November 30, 2017

Never heard of the missing tile syndrome but interesting concept. Those are two great tips to beat it!

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Yvonne Chase December 1, 2017

@Kelly,

I was fascinated when I heard about it because while I know what it is, I never heard it called the Missing Tile Syndrome.

Yea, counting our blessings and not comparing our lives to others can solve a host of problems we face.
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Richella Parham December 7, 2017

“Missing Tile Syndrome”–now that’s a brilliant way to describe the way we tend to fixate on what’s missing rather than concentrating on all that we have! I’ve absolutely been guilty of this. In fact, I’ve struggled so much with comparison that I’m writing a book about it! I thank the Lord for His grace and mercy.

Thank you so much for joining the Grace at Home party at Imparting Grace. I’m featuring you this week!
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Aimee Imbeau December 7, 2017

It is a good thing to focus on our blessings instead of what we don’t have – but it is hard to do! I guess that’s why it is called a ‘discipline’. Thanks for linking up with Grace and Truth.

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