4 Ways To Overcome Sexual Sin Once And For All

by Yvonne Chase on October 17, 2017

Overcome Sexual Temptation
The other day, a girlfriend and I were talking about sexual temptation. She said, “You know, having been married for years and now divorced, it’s hard sometimes. The temptation is real. She then asked how do you overcome sexual temptation and sexual sin? Here’s how I did it and continue to overcome. It’s a continual journey.

Three Deliberate Steps
One day, I asked God to take away my desire for sex outside of marriage. I was very specific in my prayer and continued with, now don’t take away my sex drive; I will need it later, but remove anything in me that wants to have premarital sex. It was as simple as that. In addition to that prayer, I then took three deliberate steps in my life to make sure I don’t fall into sexual sin. Those steps were:

  1. Date to marry
  2. Don’t date anyone I wouldn’t marry
  3. Don’t date for years and years and years and years. Did I say years?

Get Married
Some people wonder why I’ve been single for a long time. Well, walking in obedience and staying away from sexual immorality are the top two reason. I’ve been on all kinds of dates with all kinds of men. While some women need to date for the sake of dating, I’d prefer to be at the market shopping for items to cook a delicious dinner, at the gym working out, on my laptop writing a blog, or doing something else with my time. I don’t need to date for the sake of dating. Furthermore, I wasn’t raised to be a serial dater. I was raised to be single or meet someone and get married.

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A Clear Understanding Of Men
I’ve never dated someone I wouldn’t marry and I’m not about to start that now. Nothing about that makes sense to me. You? In my early years of dating/going on dates, I dated to get a better understanding of myself and a better understanding of men. For example, when I moved to Los Angeles, I had no idea about the men in that city. I’d heard some things about the dating world so I logged on for love and went on a flurry of dates with all kinds of men to find out. Today, I know myself very well and I have a clear understanding of men and how/why they do what they do.

Fall Into Sexual Sin
Dating for years and years and years and years never appealed to me nor does it make sense. Furthermore, it’s the quickest way to fall into sexual sin. In addition, as I’ve said repeatedly in various posts, there is no need to date a man for years and years and years and years.

He Takes Action
While some may think meeting and marrying in a short span of time, let’s say a year, is too soon, I disagree. Much of the time frame depends on the two people and where they are in life. Most importantly, when a man knows, he knows and he takes action. He won’t waste your time or risk you slipping away. As rapper Common said, it don’t take a whole day to recognize sunshine.

Better Uses Of My Time
Prior to my last relationship which was devoid of sex, I was single for eight years and doing just fine. Sure, I could’ve gone on a date every night of the week or at least every weekend if I wanted to but I didn’t. I went on a date here and there when I met someone interesting, otherwise, I said no and found better uses of my time to make me a better woman for the relationship I desire.

Sexual Immorality Is Occurring
According to a recent Gallup poll, 69 percent of Americans believe sex between an unmarried man and woman is morally acceptable. I’m here to tell you it’s not. The Bible is absolutely clear on the matter of sex as stated in 1 Corinthians 7:2 which says, 2 “But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife and each woman with her own husband.” Those are your parameters; if you want to have sex, men get a wife and ladies get a husband.

Avoid Sexual Immorality
Until then, we are to live out 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 which says:

overcome
Cross The Line
As I’ve grown closer in my walk with God and gained an even deeper understanding of his plan for sex, I have no desire to cross the line before marriage. If I do, I will more than likely end the relationship because, for me, I want to experience the newness of marriage in every way especially the marital bed. Until then and if not then, my body belongs to Him.

Something to think about…

What say you? How did you overcome sexual sin before marriage?

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

1. Leave a comment below 

2. Share this post if you like it

{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }

Melissa October 17, 2017

My hat is off to you and any single adults in our society today. Sexual immorality is rampant as we live in a society of YOLO and FOMO. God bless you and your journey!

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Yvonne Chase October 17, 2017

@Melissa,

You ain’t never lied. Sexual immorality is rampant. I read an article written by a Christian writer that said those of us that know the right way aren’t even encouraging it anymore because the mindset is, “They’re gonna have sex anyway so what’s the point!? Why say anything?
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Waiting Until Marriage Does Not Guarantee A Great Sex LifeMy Profile

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Dianne Thornton October 17, 2017

Very good, Yvonne. My husband and I waited until we were married, and we have no regrets. This is what we’re teaching our almost grown kids, too. I love how your focus on doing things you love, rather than dating for the sake of dating. Such good advice!
Dianne Thornton recently posted…Chosen ON Purpose, FOR A PurposeMy Profile

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Yvonne Chase October 17, 2017

@Diane,

So glad you are teaching your almost grown kids to wait until marriage. It’s an important lesson that’s sorely needed especially for men. God holds men responsible for the sexual relationship in marriage so it’s important that he comes into the union on the right foot.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Kids And Dating Can Be A Disaster Or NotMy Profile

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Scott October 18, 2017

My off to you for being so strong in your convictions. But I personally don’t believe that most people have this belief, which you sort of stated in the post. I would even say some so called Christians even deviate. You can’t dispute that the Bible spells it out but I think if you don’t follow those principles, which many don’t!, you are going to have sex.

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Scott October 18, 2017

My “Hat” off to you,,,,, lol

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Yvonne Chase October 18, 2017

@Scott,

You are absolutely right. The principles I’ve established in this area of my life are out of obedience to God. It’s actually my pleasure to walk this walk. I don’t do it out of rote nor is it some militant way of living or being. It actually gives me peace and lots of joy.

If I didn’t lean into my relationship with God and make up in my mind to follow his principles, I’d be having sex just like all the other Christians and so-called Christians. Jesus and the indwelling power of the Holy Spirit are the major key to victory in this area.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Janet Jackson Could’ve Avoided Divorce And Single MotherhoodMy Profile

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Karrilee October 20, 2017

So good! I met and married young and we are celebrating our 25th Anniversary this week… but I have many single friends and I feel I am unqualified to really give advice (although I would have said much of what you laid out here!) but I’m going to bookmark this post and share it with them when I feel it is appropriate… so much truth here!

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Yvonne Chase October 20, 2017

@Karrilee,

Thank you. May God continue to bless your union. 25 years of marriage is a blessing.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Janet Jackson Could’ve Avoided Divorce And Single MotherhoodMy Profile

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Lois Flowers October 21, 2017

You are a wise woman, Yvonne. It’s so encouraging to read something like this, especially in today’s culture when it seems like so many Christians are abandoning a biblical worldview when it comes to God’s plan for marriage. The older I get, the more thankful I am for the choices my husband and I made before we got married. So glad to be your neighbor at Holley’s place this week …

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Yvonne Chase October 23, 2017

@Lois,

To God be the glory. So glad you found this encouraging.

Unfortunately, you are right. Christians are conforming more an more to the world when it comes to marriage so much so that we blend right on in. God is not pleased and neither am I for that matter.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Cheap Sex, Blow Up Dolls, And The Decline Of MarriageMy Profile

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Summer October 23, 2017

You are SO right on track! I am single and in my early 30s. I find that the best way to avoid any kind of temptation is to just stay away from anything sexual. It does not apply to me as a single woman. I keep my mind clear of sexual images by being very particular about what I watch, read, view on line and listen to. “Do not awaken love until it pleases.” Song of Solomon 8:4
Thank you for sharing your heart!

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Yvonne Chase October 23, 2017

@Summer,

You’re a wise woman. What an appropriate verse you found in Song of Solomon. Thanks for adding it to the conversation.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Waiting Until Marriage Does Not Guarantee A Great Sex LifeMy Profile

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Kathleen Bailey October 23, 2017

I was lucky actually. I married the only “real” date I had not counting high school. I’m so glad I didn’t have to spend years dating to find the right person. I wish it were that easy for everyone.

I agree that dating should be to find someone to marry, not just something to do and so you should only date to find someone to marry.
Kathleen Bailey recently posted…Does That Make Me More or Less Godly?My Profile

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Yvonne Chase October 23, 2017

@Kathleen,

This is an ongoing debate; date to marry or date just because. Each of us has to do what’s best for us, however, for the Christian single, God calls us to either be married or single so dating just for the heck of it and something to do doesn’t seem wise to me.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Kids And Dating Can Be A Disaster Or NotMy Profile

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