Prejudice, Love And Marriage

by Yvonne Chase on March 16, 2016

Bride And Prejudice
Six years ago, my aunt gave me a bit of advice that came to mind last night while watching the premiere episode of Bride and Prejudice; a new thought provoking show from the people at FYI TV.  They also gave us Married At First Sight.  Here’s what my aunt said; “When you decide to marry and you’ve met someone and he loves you and you love him, marry him whether your family likes him or not. You’re smart.  You’re a woman of God.  You know how to make a good choice. By the time they get around to liking him, he’ll be gone.  They don’t need to like him, you do.  You have to live with him, they don’t.  They don’t even have to visit.”

Some Choices Were Just Forbidden
My aunt, who is now resting in heaven and her three sisters never married while their five brothers all married and have children. According to her, each of her sisters wanted to marry but no one was ever good enough and some choices were just forbidden. Apparently one sister was in love with a white guy and their father forbade her to marry him and threatened to disown her if she didn’t listen. Interracial marriage was not heard of during her time. Another sister was in love with a gentleman that wasn’t deemed good enough and so on and so forth.  I get why my aunt felt the way she did and shared those words with me.

Be With Your Own
Bride and Prejudice follow the lives of three couples who desperately want to marry but the prejudice from family members threatens their relationships.  My aunt and her sisters would’ve been perfect for this show if it were around back in the day.  First up are Adam and Briana.  She’s black.  He’s white.  She’s 23. He’s 35.  Adam says he grew up in a household where only white people were welcomed.  Wow! Briana’s cousin Ashlyn, who had a heavy hand in raising her does not like Adam because he is white.  Her stance is, “Be with  your own. Be with your own.”  Ashlyn doesn’t think Briana has fully thought out the ramifications that could come with an interracial union considering our tense racial times.

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A Tale Of Two Religions
Then there’s a tale of two religions in the interfaith union of Eugene and Samantha.  She’s Christian.  He’s Jewish.  She’s 26. He’s27.   They met 15 months ago and a month later they became pregnant and are parents to their five-month-old son Nathan.  Based on what I watched, the families are thinking along the lines of how faith impacts our lives vs disliking the person because of faith.  Eugene’s Jewish family says,”Jews marry Jews and they have Jewish children.”  I get it! Faith is definitely a factor in childrearing.  How will they raise their child? In what faith? That will be a big bone of contention in their marriage and I believe that is why the parents on both sides are against it.  Far different than Ashlyn disliking Adam because he’s white. 

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Marriage Is Between One Man And One Woman
Last up are Romeo and Romeo; Lou and Chris, a homosexual couple. Lou is 27.  Chris is 35 and they’re both flight attendants.  Even though Chris had girlfriends before coming out, he says he knew he was gay since he was a six-year-old.  When he came out, his mother kicked him out of the house.  His father and mother both believe marriage is between one man and one woman.  Chris proposed to Lou in Hawaii and now it’s time to tell his parents. When he announced his engagement to his family minus his father who was absent, his mother tearfully said, “The reality that he’s not walking down the aisle with a woman…he’s walking down the aisle with a man, who really wants that? Like who wants to have your son walk down the aisle with a man? I don’t!”

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Will Love Conquer All?
Will prejudice tear the couples apart or will love conquer all? I have no idea but what I would like people to take away from this show is this; just because someone doesn’t agree with you, doesn’t mean they hate or dislike you.  When will we get that through our skulls? Specifically, the homosexuality community where many believe disagreeing with same-sex marriage means you hate homosexuals. While that may be true for some, it’s definitely not true for all.  

Acceptance Works Both Ways
Chris’s parents don’t hate homosexuals. They simply believe marriage is between one man and one woman. They have that right.  Not a living soul has to agree with our choices. The fact that this community seems to be forcing everyone to agree with it or else, is flat out wrong. Acceptance works both ways. 

Something to think about…

What say you? Could you, have you or would you marry without the approval of your parents and family? Are you the only one who has to live with your choice in marriage? Is love enough? 

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Ezar March 17, 2016

Yvonne, most singles are trying to find loopholes in the Bible that would allow them to marry and unbeliever. I did. I lost. When someone has already allowed his or her heart to become engaged with a person outside the faith, I find that the Bible has already been devalued as the non-negotiable rule of faith and practice. Instead, variants of the serpent’s question to Eve—“Did God really say?” are floated, as if somehow this case might be eligible for an exemption, considering how much they love each other, how the unbeliever supports and understands the Christian’s faith, how they are soul-mates despite the absence of a shared soul-faith. Having grown weary and impatient, I want to snap and say, “It won’t work, not in the long run. Marriage is hard enough when you have two believers who are completely in harmony spiritually. Just spare yourself the heartache and get over it.” Yet such harshness is neither in line with the gentleness of Christ, nor convincing.
try to visualize what would happen if a farmer yoked together, say, an ox and a donkey. The heavy wooden yoke, designed to harness the strength of the team, would be askew, as the animals are of different heights, weights, walk at different speeds and with different gaits. The yoke, instead of harnessing the power of the team to complete the task, would rub and chafe BOTH animals, since the load would be distributed unequally. An unequal marriage is not just unwise for the Christian, it is also unfair to the non-Christian, and will end up being a trial for them both.

Secondly, I have gay friends BUT I dont condone or appreciate homosexuality. There is no justification for it.

Muah! Muah!!

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JoAnn Grooms April 10, 2016

There is no justification for two people to fall in love? How about the fact that they do NOT choose their sexual orientation or who they are attracted to regardless of race or religion? They are the way GOD made them. Don’t use your personal experiences to justify your bigotry. The sooner you bigots and racists figure that out, the sooner this world can be a much better place! I have pity for your small mind. God bless you…

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