Reality Rewind: Marrying The Game

by Yvonne Chase on December 11, 2012

Why Are You Marrying Him?
Can someone please help me understand? I’m thoroughly confused! I watched Marrying the Game last night and got an instant headache.  Here we go again with the typical black relationship drama.  Been together eight years, had two kids and now we’re getting married.  That’s the story of The Game and his fiancée Tiffney who says, his actions show he doesn’t want to be a husband.  He’s disrespectful.  Why are you marrying him?

Immature Children In Grow Up Bodies
In my recent post, How to Avoid Being 40 & Single, I spoke to the fact that age is not an indicator of readiness for marriage.  I mentioned that I see a lot of immature children in grown up bodies.  The Game would be one of those children.  Scott Sorrel left a comment on that post that completely sums up the relationship dynamic between Tiffney and The Game.

Playthings, Playmates and Playtime
Here’s what he said; I see a lot of grown women out there married to little boys. These little boys are all about My Playthings (toys), My Playmates (friends) and My Playtime (carousing).  And these women wonder why their little boys don’t grow up.  News Flash: it’s because they married little boys, not men. When you marry a little boy, it reinforces his immaturity.  It says, “You don’t NEED to grow up. I’m perfectly willing to give my precious life and future and happiness to you just the way you are. No need to change just for me. I’m not an important enough prize.” Sad. By not requiring that these little boys “man up” and demonstrate maturity BEFORE giving their precious lives and futures and happiness to them, these women seal their fates. Because as the years go by, these unhappy women learn the hard way that age has little to do with maturity: Adult little boys merely become Old little boys. They don’t become men because there was never any incentive for them to do so.

Reinforcing His Immaturity
That’s The Game. He’s all about his Playthings (cars, flat screen TVs, gaudy jewelry and gadgets) his Playmates (the goons that practically live with them and seem to have free reign and access to their home) his Playtime (taking his goons on trips with him out of town to carouse and have fun while he performs.)  The Game will never grow up.  Tiffney has been reinforcing his immaturity for the past 8 years.  Every day that she stays in that relationship, she’s essentially saying to him, you don’t NEED to grow up.

Get This Money
The Game has made it real clear that he’s not changing.  He feels that his sole responsibility is to go out and “get this money.”  As long as he does that, he’s fulfilling his role in their relationship.  Not so.  A man’s role in his relationship goes far beyond his wallet.

Marrying A Boy Won’t Make Him A Man
The tragedy of it all is Tiffney has invested 8 years.   Now she wants to force a square peg into a round hole.  Marrying The Game is a game she’ll never win.  It won’t change him nor will it fix their relationship.  Marrying a boy won’t make him a man.  Like Scott said, Adult little boys merely become Old little boys. They don’t become men because there was never any incentive for them to do so.

Something to think about…

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