It Is Well With My Soul

by Yvonne Chase on March 20, 2017

It Is Well With My Soul
It’s been six months since my mother died. Within these past months, it’s been revealed to me how much I am my mother’s child. Yesterday while at church belting out It Is Well With My Soul, the closing hymn we sang at her funeral, it blew my mind how much I sound like her. My mother had an alto voice that projected to the back of the room and surrounded the space wherever she sang. It was unique. You knew it was her voice even if you didn’t see her face. 

Singing Through Me
Yesterday was surreal. It felt like Mom was singing through me. It freaked me out! I kinda wanted to get up and leave the service to have a minute. I didn’t know what to do with myself for a moment. I’m sure the people sitting next to me probably wondered why I seemed so uneasy all of sudden.

Looking For Sister Chase
I sent my siblings a text to which my sister replied, “If the folks at Bethany Gospel Chapel heard you, they would tell you the same thing. They would tell you they turned around looking for Sister Chase. You’ve always had Mummy’s alto voice.”While I can sing soprano, I delight in singing alto. Something about it just feels good and right to me.

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Filth And Uncleanliness
Last week while at home cooking, I paused at how much I’m like her in the kitchen. I prepare foods in the same manner. I’m clean just like her. My mother hated filth and uncleanliness and so do I. Mummy believed a clean kitchen said something about your entire home. If your kitchen wasn’t clean, she didn’t want anything from you.

Catch Spills
She made sure to keep hers spotless and so do I. While cooking, Mummy washed her hands a million times to make sure everything she prepared was fresh and clean. I do the same.  She always had a kitchen towel to catch spills and wipe down the counter and so do I.  

Losing My Marbles
While I was wiping down the counter the other day, I felt her next to me. It felt like she was standing next to me so much so that I had to stop and look around. Has this ever happened to you or am I losing my marbles? She even spoke to me last week; told me not to worry about a thing. Said everything will be fine; I’m watching over you.

Not A Bad Thing
Since her passing, I see more and more how much I am just like her and that’s not a bad thing. Every day I look more and more like her. I never realized that when she was alive. Today, I find myself taking a second look when I walk by the large wall mirror in my living room. I see her when I see me.

Made No Sense
My mother was the wisest woman I’ve ever known and the strongest. When I say strong, I don’t mean physical strength. Sure, she was physically strong, however, she had a strength from within that at times made no sense to me. There were times when I wondered what she was made of, like how could one woman be so strong?

Believed Every Word
It was her faith in God that made her strong. She loved Jesus and took him at his word. Her faith was unshakeable and so is mine. You might’ve doubted God but she never did and you couldn’t make her if you tried. She read the Bible day in and day out and believed every word of it. I have my mother’s strength, her resilience, and her “3rd eye.” 

You Can’t Lie To Me
Mom could see through people and situations like glass. There was no pulling the wool over her eyes. You couldn’t lie to my mother and you can’t lie to me. I may not say anything but I always know when someone is being dishonest…always! Thanks Mom for making me the woman I am today.

Never Got Right
Throughout my life, my mother and I had a strained relationship. In the end, it went left and never got right. In spite of it all, my mother knew I loved her dearly and she knew I would move heaven and earth to make sure she was good. That gives me peace. No matter what, I knew she loved me too. During her hospital stay, Mom craved pizza; one of her favorite foods and also one of mine. I’m so glad I went out to get it for her and that she was able to enjoy it before leaving this earth. She was so happy eating that slice!

No One Has A Manual
Let me say this in closing, my parents never had a manual on how to raise kids. No one has a manual. Everyone is figuring it out as they go along and doing the best they can. Mom did the best she could. My seven siblings and I are all doing well. We all love Jesus, we’re serving him and we know for sure where we will spend eternity. Do you?

Get Through Anything
In addition, we’re all living the great values my parents instilled and those values are being passed on to my 18 nieces and nephews. What else could a parent ask for? Jobs, like material things and all the stuff this world chases after comes and goes. In the end, Mom gave me something no one can ever take away from me and that was leading me into a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Once you have that relationship, you can get through anything! Today, I am complete with my mother and it is truly well with my soul.

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Something to think about…

What say you? Have you ever lost a loved one? What was that experience like for you? Am I losing my marbles or am I experiencing what happens when we lose someone close to us?

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

1. Leave a comment below

2. Share this post if you like it

{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }

bethany mcilrath March 21, 2017

What a sweet tribute to your mom!

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Yvonne Chase March 21, 2017

@Bethany

Thanks. It’s straight from the heart.
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Elle | Tuned In Parents March 21, 2017

Yvonne, I’m so sorry. Having lost a parent too, I know the pain and closeness overlap in a perplexing way. You’re blessed to have been loved by such a mother.
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Yvonne Chase March 22, 2017

@Elle,

This is all so perplexing. I feel like she’s stalking me. She’s everywhere I am as of late. I am blessed indeed. Thank you.
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Marva | SunSparkleShine March 21, 2017

Hi Yvonne, thanks for sharing your mom with us. I’m sorry for your lost (still so fresh!) but I’m grateful that you can use her lessons to inspire us. I’ve had two recent family losses and often feel like I’m losing my marbles too, so I feel like I’m in good company with you. 🙂
Wishing you blessings as you heal!
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Yvonne Chase March 22, 2017

@Marva,

Yes, it’s still so fresh. Glad to know I have company as I lose my marbles. Ha! Sending comfort to you during your time of loss.
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Lowanda J March 22, 2017

Such a beautiful tribute to your mom. I haven’t lost a parent, but I see my mom in me with many things I do. Good and bad. Scary thought because I always felt we were so opposite. Love this post!
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Yvonne Chase March 22, 2017

@Lowanda,

It’s weird that I didn’t really see how much I was like her when she was alive. Only now is it crystal clear to the point that it’s freaking me out at times. Seems like we’re having the same experience.

Thanks for reading and sharing your heart.

God bless!
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Sarah March 24, 2017

This is beautiful. I think our Moms could have been friends!
I know it’s hard now and everything makes you think of her. I hope you have lots of reasons to smile each day!

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Yvonne Chase March 24, 2017

@Sarah,

Everything makes me think of her. I see her and feel her often however, I find myself smiling a lot these days because of all she’s put in me.

Thank you…
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Heather March 24, 2017

My husband lost his father over a year ago, and I’m dreading the day I lose my folks. It’s so hard to imagine life without them. I’m so sorry for your loss.
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Yvonne Chase April 1, 2017

@Heather,

Thanks. All I can say is cherish every moment you have with your folks because none of us knows the day or the other. My mother’s death was completely unexpected. She went to the ER and never came back home.
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Sue Donaldson March 24, 2017

yes, me, too! not always comfortable while on earth, but I miss her and I’m A LOT like my mom! Blessings!!!!
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Donna Reidland March 24, 2017

I’ve lost several family members. It always amazes me the things that trigger a thought or a memory. Occasionally, I see someone who looks like my father or some other loved one and do a little double take. You almost forget for a moment … Thanks for sharing your memories with us. May God comfort your heart each day!
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Yvonne Chase March 24, 2017

@Donna,

This is new for me so I’m not sure what to expect. It’s a totally different experience than when I lost my brother 7 years ago. Helpful to know that what I’m experiencing is part of the process.
Thanks for your kind words…
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AnnMarie March 24, 2017

This post hits home with me because my mother and I have an estranged relationship and have had for years. She is in her 80’s and in assisted living now and not sure how many more years she has. I often wonder if I will have any regrets after she is gone, for not having had a relationship with her. It’s a long story but she was always just my birth mother. Your post is an amazing tribute to your Mom and until you said so, it seemed you had a great relationship with her. Sounds like you have the best of her in you and you are being blessed by that now.
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Yvonne Chase March 24, 2017

@AnnMarie,

The key to not having any regrets is knowing you did the best you could to honor your mother and be there for her. I don’t have any regrets because both of those things are true for me. I honored her, loved her dearly, always spoke well of her and was definitely there for her whenever she needed me.

Do those things and all will be well with your soul.
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Brandi Raae March 26, 2017

Sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what it will be like when my mom passes. We are really close, and I’m a lot like her, too. And, yes, thankfully, we will both be reunited in heaven when all is said and done. 🙂 I, too, learned about Jesus from her.

What a wonderful tribute you wrote in honor of your mom. Thanks for sharing at Literacy Musing Mondays.
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Yvonne Chase March 26, 2017

@Brandi,

It’s comforting to know that we will be reunited in Heaven. So glad my mother was a strong woman of faith and lead me to Jesus.
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Michele Morin March 29, 2017

Thank you for sharing this sweet tribute to your mum.
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Lyli @lylidunbar.com March 31, 2017

What an amazing woman! Hugs and prayers to you as you remember her. May God continue to surround you with His comfort.

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Evie730 April 1, 2017

Wow! Six months. It’s funny how all the things you think are so important, aren’t important at all! The legacy they left go beyond that. Praying the God of comfort strengthens you! Hugs

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