It Is Well With My Soul
It’s been six months since my mother died. Within these past months, it’s been revealed to me how much I am my mother’s child. Yesterday while at church belting out It Is Well With My Soul, the closing hymn we sang at her funeral, it blew my mind how much I sound like her. My mother had an alto voice that projected to the back of the room and surrounded the space wherever she sang. It was unique. You knew it was her voice even if you didn’t see her face.
Singing Through Me
Yesterday was surreal. It felt like Mom was singing through me. It freaked me out! I kinda wanted to get up and leave the service to have a minute. I didn’t know what to do with myself for a moment. I’m sure the people sitting next to me probably wondered why I seemed so uneasy all of sudden.
Looking For Sister Chase
I sent my siblings a text to which my sister replied, “If the folks at Bethany Gospel Chapel heard you, they would tell you the same thing. They would tell you they turned around looking for Sister Chase. You’ve always had Mummy’s alto voice.”While I can sing soprano, I delight in singing alto. Something about it just feels good and right to me.
Filth And Uncleanliness
Last week while at home cooking, I paused at how much I’m like her in the kitchen. I prepare foods in the same manner. I’m clean just like her. My mother hated filth and uncleanliness and so do I. Mummy believed a clean kitchen said something about your entire home. If your kitchen wasn’t clean, she didn’t want anything from you.
She made sure to keep hers spotless and so do I. While cooking, Mummy washed her hands a million times to make sure everything she prepared was fresh and clean. I do the same. She always had a kitchen towel to catch spills and wipe down the counter and so do I.
Losing My Marbles
While I was wiping down the counter the other day, I felt her next to me. It felt like she was standing next to me so much so that I had to stop and look around. Has this ever happened to you or am I losing my marbles? She even spoke to me last week; told me not to worry about a thing. Said everything will be fine; I’m watching over you.
Not A Bad Thing
Since her passing, I see more and more how much I am just like her and that’s not a bad thing. Every day I look more and more like her. I never realized that when she was alive. Today, I find myself taking a second look when I walk by the large wall mirror in my living room. I see her when I see me.
Made No Sense
My mother was the wisest woman I’ve ever known and the strongest. When I say strong, I don’t mean physical strength. Sure, she was physically strong, however, she had a strength from within that at times made no sense to me. There were times when I wondered what she was made of, like how could one woman be so strong?
Believed Every Word
It was her faith in God that made her strong. She loved Jesus and took him at his word. Her faith was unshakeable and so is mine. You might’ve doubted God but she never did and you couldn’t make her if you tried. She read the Bible day in and day out and believed every word of it. I have my mother’s strength, her resilience, and her “3rd eye.”
You Can’t Lie To Me
Mom could see through people and situations like glass. There was no pulling the wool over her eyes. You couldn’t lie to my mother and you can’t lie to me. I may not say anything but I always know when someone is being dishonest…always! Thanks Mom for making me the woman I am today.
Never Got Right
Throughout my life, my mother and I had a strained relationship. In the end, it went left and never got right. In spite of it all, my mother knew I loved her dearly and she knew I would move heaven and earth to make sure she was good. That gives me peace. No matter what, I knew she loved me too. During her hospital stay, Mom craved pizza; one of her favorite foods and also one of mine. I’m so glad I went out to get it for her and that she was able to enjoy it before leaving this earth. She was so happy eating that slice!
No One Has A Manual
Let me say this in closing, my parents never had a manual on how to raise kids. No one has a manual. Everyone is figuring it out as they go along and doing the best they can. Mom did the best she could. My seven siblings and I are all doing well. We all love Jesus, we’re serving him and we know for sure where we will spend eternity. Do you?
Get Through Anything
In addition, we’re all living the great values my parents instilled and those values are being passed on to my 18 nieces and nephews. What else could a parent ask for? Jobs, like material things and all the stuff this world chases after comes and goes. In the end, Mom gave me something no one can ever take away from me and that was leading me into a relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Once you have that relationship, you can get through anything! Today, I am complete with my mother and it is truly well with my soul.
What say you? Have you ever lost a loved one? What was that experience like for you? Am I losing my marbles or am I experiencing what happens when we lose someone close to us?
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