Husbands Do Not Belong In Strip Clubs

by Yvonne Chase on January 28, 2014

It’s Not Her Money
On Sunday’s episode of The Real Housewives Of Atlanta, we learned that Apollo, Phaedra’s husband, who was recently arrested on charges of bank fraud and identity theft spends between $5K to $8K at the strip club.  He used to go to the strip club every day.  He claims it’s his money so he can spend it how he wants.  He says, “I got it to spend.  I’m gonna spend it. It’s not her money”; referring to his wife.  I  don’t know what kind of marriage they have but that’s a bunch of crazy talk! “My money” goes out the window when you say I do.  It’s now our money!

A World Of Trouble
To make matters worse, wives are joining their husbands at the strip club.  Many are making date nights out of it.  Some are giving their husbands a night at the strip club as a birthday gift.  I’ve heard wives say, “If he’s going to look at other women, I want to be there with him to remind him of what he has at home.”  Are you kidding me? Any wife who is cool with her husband hanging at the strip club much less spending that astronomical amount of money is a fool who has opened up her marriage to a world of trouble.  Husbands do not belong in strip clubs.  Married people do not belong in strip clubs.

No Longer Interested In Them Sexually
The same women who freely cosign on their husbands trip to the strip club wonder why their marriages are in trouble and their husbands are no longer interested in them sexually.  Your man is at the strip club salivating over women who have the ability to flex their bodies in ways you can’t.  Next thing you know, he wants you to duplicate what he saw at the strip club and there goes the beginning of your problems.  He wants you to look like what he sees at the strip club to recreate his fantasy at home and you don’t.  Nothing good comes from a married man going to a strip club.  A married man at a strip club is disrespecting himself, his wife, their marriage and the strippers.  I think strip clubs are disgusting I mean who wants to be around a bunch of smelly, naked people leaking fluids?

strip

Something to think about…

What would you say if your husband or wife wanted to go to a strip club? Do married people belong in strip clubs?

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

1.  Leave a comment below

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{ 78 comments… read them below or add one }

naijawife January 28, 2014

“My money” goes out the window when you say I do. Its now our money!” — exactly! We said the same thing in our “Chop My Money” post

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Yvonne Chase January 28, 2014

@Naijawife,

He’s out of his mind with that statement and she’s out of her mind for accepting it. There is no “my anything” in marriage. Its ours! We’re one! You will not be taking $8K of our money to go to anybody’s strip club. No sir!

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Mr. Malcolm January 28, 2014

I have to laugh because he should be saving his money to defend himself in court. Don’t be too surprised by this action by husbands (and then the conforming behavior by the wives affected) because that is what happens when you are selfish.

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Yvonne Chase January 28, 2014

@Ray,

The conforming behavior of the wives upsets me. Many feel its what they have to do to keep their marriage in tact and that is very sad to me. All of it is selfish, selfish, selfish!

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Lavita January 28, 2014

I agree wholeheartedly! First of all, I felt pity for those women who tried to act like they are okay with their husbands frequenting strip clubs. Either they don’t get it or they are sadly doing what they think they need to do to keep their men. Second, I about fell off my chair when Apollo said it’s not her money! Huh? YOUR money is OUR money and with Phaedra’s savvy business mind, I’m sure she doesn’t condone throwing that money away. And I’m sure it would be better spent on your two sons!

All this being said, in light of his recent charges, maybe he did her a favor by saying that!

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Yvonne Chase January 28, 2014

@Lavita,

If you think for one second Phaedra doesn’t know all about his shady dealings, you are sadly mistaken. There is no way he’s dropping $5-$$8k at a club and she is clueless about how he got his hands on that kind of cash…no way! Like you said, she’s a savvy businesswoman.

Women who act like they are okay with that are really not okay with it. Like you said, its what they believe they have to do to keep their men. A man is not a man if he puts his wife in that predicament. That is selfish!

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chocoholiclady January 28, 2014

Men married or not do not belong in strip clubs…. its just wrong on every level

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Yvonne Chase January 28, 2014

@Chocoholiclady

You’re right and I agree. I think its especially wrong for a married man. It violates his entire marriage and is a huge sign of disrespect.

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As above June 5, 2017

Totally agree my husband done it behind my back serious consequences fir him

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Teedra Lewis January 28, 2014

“Who wants to be around a bunch of smelly naked people leaking fluids?” Yvonne, you’re a mess in the BEST way. If I was thinking about going to a strip club, that line would change my mind. LOL!

I’m glad I married a man who has no desire to go to the strip club. He never went while he was single. We talked about this and he said he never understood that in men. He knew guys that went and would invite him to go but it never interest him.

I watched that episode and clutched my pearls when he mentioned how often he went, how much he spent and then I snapped my neck when he said, its not her money. Like you said, I don’t know what’s going on in their marriage but that is a bunch of foolishness.

Great post!

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g January 28, 2014

I don’t know why any husband would be in a strip club for entertainment; I’m sure if the shoe were on the other foot it would be a problem.
It bothered me that Cynthia tries to be all thick skinned about it and it really bothered me that Apollo could spend up to 8k in one night and not think it was an issue.
If people see this image of marriage and think that’s the way it is they are going to be totally confused. Those women are confused, come to think of it.

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Yvonne Chase January 28, 2014

@g,

It would definitely be a problem if the shoe were on the other foot. What man in his right mind is going to be cool with his wife stepping out to the strip club?

Cynthia is down for everything. She stands for nothing. How can any wife be cool with her husband going to the strip club so often and spending so much money? Ludicrous!

This image of marriage is so detrimental to the sacredness of marriage.

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George Scheide January 28, 2014

That’s just weird. What’s wrong with people? I don’t think I have anything to add to this one. Unless you met your wife at the strip club (not very likely), at what point do you say, “Hey honey, let’s go look at strippers?” That there are women who are cool with this just blows me away.

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Vicki August 17, 2015

Thank you, George. You have shown me that there are some decent men in the world. I wish I had married one…

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Yvonne Chase January 28, 2014

LOL @ George! Could you imagine!!! Mind blowing indeed. I believe women pretend to be cool with it. Its what Lavita said. They think this is what they have to do to keep their men. SAD!!!

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Speterjr January 28, 2014

I don’t know who these people are, as I don’t watch “reality” TV, and I believe their “marriages” are PR stunts. However, strip clubs are a waste of time and money. As human beings, it’s perfectly natural to find attractive qualities in people other than our spouses, but going to a strip club, a man degrades himself by spending all that money for a woman’s company, and the woman degrades herself by accepting the money. It quantifies human interaction in terms of dollars and cents.

There are surely better, more cost – efficient ways for a couple to spice up a marriage. A sex education seminar is something a married couple can do together.

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Yvonne Chase January 29, 2014

@Speterjr,

I agree…strip clubs are a complete waste of money. I love the idea of a married couple attending a sex education seminar. That would do wonders for a marriage!

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Mrs.AOK January 31, 2014

WOW! That’s just insane. I’m sorry, but that time and money could be spent on and with his family.
I believe we all need a hobby or an outlet of some sort, but this doesn’t seem quite healthy…. and it’s mosdef not a hobby.
XO

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Yvonne Chase January 31, 2014

@Mrs. AOK,

The 3 Amigos; Apollo, Greg and Peter were on the Bethenny show recently talking about strip clubs. They all said going to a strip club to them is like going to the office. Time to find a new office and like you said a new hobby.

A married man and a father with 2 small children who thinks its okay to go to a strip club much less spend that kind of money while there has his priorities all wrong. That money should go towards his household.

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karen February 1, 2014

luckily my hubby hates strip clubs, he feels they are nasty and a waste of money. I know other husbands who feel it is okay to go…and that’s sad. Hapy Saturday Sharefest

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Yvonne Chase February 1, 2014

@Karen,

I count you among the lucky women who are married to men that don’t like strip clubs. What a blessing!

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Bonnie @ Love, Marriage and Sex February 1, 2014

Strip clubs are much like pornography. When a man (or woman, for that matter), is exposed to that kind of arousal time after time, it can make it difficult to orgasm with “normal” sex. Keep sex within your marriage. Learn to incorporate novelty in your OWN bedroom. No outside help is needed.

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Yvonne Chase February 2, 2014

@Bonnie,

You’re right…strip clubs and pornography go hand in hand. They are both harmful to a marriage. I couldn’t have said this any better, “Keep sex within your marriage. Learn to incorporate novelty in your OWN bedroom. No outside help is needed.”

Outside help has created many a problem couples thought it would solve. Many are in sexless marriages because one or both prefer the outside help.

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Lynn March 30, 2014

I read this and felt compelled to comment. I’m speaking from the perspective of a former stripper, so I know what goes on in ALL of those places and it is not just ‘watching’ the girls. Don’t ever believe anyone when they tell you that ‘touching is not allowed’. If a man has money, he can get whatever he desires. I met many husbands over the years and most were there with the same excuse; ‘my wife doesn’t/won’t give me what I want at home’. A few were there because their buddies dragged them in and they couldn’t say ‘no’. I agree with the title of this article. I also believe that ANY man who wants to do God’s will should NEVER enter a strip club … no bachelor party, ‘stopped in for lunch’ or ‘we were just there to play pool’ excuses can ever make it OK. To the husbands who do go: Don’t expect your marriage to be blessed when you choose to play with the devil. To the wives: Don’t justify the actions or allow any form of pornography to be OK with you. Also, husbands are responsible for their own behavior, but many woman do not heed 1 Corinthians 7:4-5 and can perpetuate the problem. Pray for your marriage and get help when you need it. The responsibility for your marriage belongs to both of you.

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Selena June 25, 2017

I really appreciate you being so honest and confirming what we ALL already knew to begin with!

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Yvonne Chase March 30, 2014

Lynn,

While reading your comment, I paused and thanked God for the boldness to stand up for righteousness. Although the world says anything goes, I believe in right and wrong hence the title of this post.

Thanks for sharing the “inside scoop” on what really goes on in strip clubs. I’ve never been and I have no intention on going. I love this part of your comment: “ANY man who wants to do God’s will should NEVER enter a strip club … no bachelor party, ‘stopped in for lunch’ or ‘we were just there to play pool’ excuses can ever make it OK. The responsibility for your marriage belongs to both of you.”
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Jamie May 22, 2014

I agree!! Married men (and married women) have NO right going to a strip club. My husband went 2 months after I gave birth to our daughter (and tried to lie even though my gut told me he was as he used to go when he was single) and it broke my heart and made me doubt my appearance. I was 20 beautiful face and body and here my husband was rejecting me and giving our money and money that could have been going to our daughter on women he was lusting over. Then he had the nerve to come home and ask me for sex. He claims to this day that the fact that there are scantily clad women there to fulfill a fantasy who he is lusting over and touching, etc. had and would have very little to do wih why he went/would go. That of course is nonsense!! Married women who being their husbands there are opening a can of worms and contribute to the ‘male run society’ and encourage their husbands objectifying women. Your husband should not want to go and if he did want to he should be able to refrain from doing so because no other woman could compare to his beautiful wife. Men need to begin to realize that women are not sex objects and are to be respected even if the women are making themselves available to be objectified and disrespected. If you respect women then do not contribute to establishments where a woman is selling her body.

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Yvonne Chase May 24, 2014

My belief is if a man watches porn while he’s single he will watch it in marriage unless the Holy Spirit healed him of that addiction.

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Anon September 29, 2014

I agree. I found out a few months before my wedding that my fiance was addicted to porn. Unfortunately with the wedding pressure and everyone having booked their flights, I was not firm enough about the issue. I told him how i felt about it, yet he refused to attend premarital counselling to address it. I thought to myself he would stop after we got married because he said he would, but looking back now I should have given him an ultimatum that I would not marry him if he did not stop. Because it continued into the marriage. And it ruined our sex life, because I do not feel turned on by him anymore as a result – because I think he is disgusting, and he doesn’t repsect me. ALthough he doesn’t frequent strip clubs, he does go when it’s a friend’s bachelor party, even though he knows that I am a very conservative Christian and that I do not approve. Although I do still love him, I am very disappointed in my marriage.

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Yvonne Chase September 29, 2014

@Anon,

Thank you for sharing. Sorry you’re dealing with this in your marriage. Is your husband a Christian? I guess all you can do at this point is be a model example of Gods love to him and pray for his deliverance. God is able!
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Sleeplessly needing sleep August 4, 2014

I whole heartedly agree with you. My husband and I have been having a fight over this because he wanted to go for his cousin’s bachelor party. I have a problem with strip clubs, he knew this from the start. I almost called off my wedding because he went to a strip club after his bachelor party was over because his groomsmen got him super drunk. I am still hurt by this over 2 years later.

I have a problem with it because nakedness should be shared between husband and wife. He told me that the way you tip the girls is by putting the money in between their boobs. That put me over the edge. His brother has a problem with me because he feels like I am a control freak, when in fact, I don’t mind when they hang out, but I don’t want my HUSBAND going to a strip club. He respects me enough not to go, but I just hope he doesn’t come to resent me.

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Kandyce Brothers October 29, 2015

When a man calls woman a control freak; what he really means is she is resisting HIS control and/or his unwillingness to hold himself accountable.

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Meredith September 17, 2014

I consider myself married to my boyfriend of almost 7 years. Lately, since a good friend of his(who is single and wouldn’t know a committed relationship if it smacked him in the face )moved in next door, theres been talk of going to the strip club. Now, not only have we been together going on 7 years, we also have 2 small girls under 6 years old. His friend tries to act like I’m being controlling because I refuse to let him to go the strip club. I find it disrespectful and disgusting. Am I in the wrong for feeling like he’s basically cheating on me if he goes?

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Vicki August 17, 2015

He probably does go to the clubs, just behind your back. It is cheating because he is not “forsaking all others”. You may not be married, but married enough with 2 kids and 7 years together. Just found out my husband has been a regular at a strip club for quite some time…I feel sick, can’t eat or sleep, and I totally want nothing to do with him. My husband doesn’t have a friend to go with him to the club…he just goes while I’m working night shift and claims that he’s working late…yet he’s brought me home dinners from the club, claiming that they came from somewhere else. Give him an ultimatum…your friend or me. This friend seems like quite a corruptible character.

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Craig Gilbert March 28, 2017

I’m sorry to hear that. I have been reading this thread, because I have never approved of strip clubs and, as a man, I have taken my share of disrespect and ridicule for not being “one of the guys”. Stand your ground. You deserve respect!

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Kandyce Brothers October 29, 2015

(http://lundybancroft.blogspot.ca/) WHO REALLY IS THE CONTROLLING PERSON……Has your partner ever said to you, “You’re the controlling one! You are always trying to control me! You’re a controlling bitch!”
These accusations can create confusion for the woman. So let’s clarify a few points.
It is not control when you:
Demand that someone treat you properly, insisting that your rights be respected (including demanding that you be spoken to with respect)
Challenge someone about the work they are creating for you (such as by leaving messes around the house)
Press someone to meet responsibilities that they aren’t meeting (and if you have to keep asking them over and over again, that doesn’t make you controlling, it makes them irresponsible)
Challenge someone about behaviors of theirs that have large implications for the couple (and for the family if you have children), such as abusing alcohol, gambling, ignoring the children, or being mean to the children
Call the police because someone is hurting you or threatening to hurt you
It is control when you:
Ridicule someone, make them feel stupid, or call them demeaning names, especially when you are doing so in order to force them do something or to silence them
Physically or sexually intimidate someone
Get revenge on someone for not doing what you told them to do or for standing up for their own opinions
Impose double standards (make different rules for yourself than for the other person)
Pressure or manipulate someone into sexual contact that they don’t want
I’m willing to bet that when he calls you controlling, he is referring to things you do from the first list, and that when you call him controlling, you’re referring to things he does from the second list. He’s the one getting it all backwards.
Another useful, though tricky, concept: It’s control when you are trying to take someone’s rights away, and it’s self-defense when you are trying to keep someone else from taking your rights away. (The reason this gets tricky is because the controlling man will often say that you are trying to take his rights away, because he thinks he has the right to abuse you.)
And a last concept: The abusive man will call you “controlling” for resisting his control. Noticing when this is happening will be a huge help to you.

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Yvonne Chase September 18, 2014

@Meredith,

Does your boyfriend consider himself married to you? If he did, maybe he wouldn’t think about going to strip clubs.

You need to put his friend in his place and have a serious talk with your father’s children about his behavior not only with his friend but more importantly with you and the affect and message it sends to your daughters.

Are you wrong for feeling like he’s cheating on you if he goes? You’re not wrong for feeling how you feel but those thoughts compound an already bad situation.

Wishing you the best…
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John April 25, 2015

I seem to see alot of the same ol feminist propoganda being spewed here. Its all about “he better not do this, and he better not do that” as if he were a child. However, do you ever wonder why men look at pornography or go to strip clubs?

There seems to be no attempt to understand the male sex drive at all. It’s all about male bashing and control. Men like variety, if their wives and GF made more effort at keeping things interesting in the bedroom maybe they would not have to seek other forms of pleasure or entertainment. Am I saying that it’s right? no but perhaps if there were more focus in understanding men in the same way that women claim to want their men to understand them, then there would be less of these kind of issues.

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Vicki August 17, 2015

A husband has made a commitment to his wife to forsake all others. That does not mean that he gets to look at naked women for sexual gratification – that belongs between he and his wife. I gave my husband EVERYTHING that he asked for, and he still went out behind my back. He has a lack of character, commitment and respect. If his libido is that strong than he should be single.

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Kandyce Brothers October 29, 2015

Sadly today tooo many men do not know how to honor, respect and love a woman; our society and culture glamorizes sex, women’s bodies, hook-ups etc etc and makes a mockery of God’s law. Vicki God saw and heard everything and your ex will have to answer to Him in the end. When people continually commit sin and get away with any long term consequences, they mistake God’s patience for tolerance…nothing is further from the truth. Darkness always always comes to light. Blessings

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Kandyce Brothers October 29, 2015

Why oh why do men always make it about themselves…sounds a tad narcissistic and doing the blame game. I for one am tired of hearing the lame excuses, the false claims of victimization and degradation of women by shallow soul less ego driven men

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Lisa June 25, 2017

Most people consider anything sexual outside your marriage with another person to be cheating and grounds for divorce…makes me wonder what’s wrong with YOU???

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Selena June 6, 2017

Um, if your married or in a committed relationship, Variety is no longer an option for You! So quit acting like a child if ya don’t wanna be treated like one. Why don’t you try doin somethin interesting in the bedroom yourself, ever think of that. You’re full of nothing but excuses cuz you think you’re entitled to disrespect and cheat on your wife. How pathetic!!

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Carman July 18, 2017

The only reason men go there is to pay some whore to sexually arouse them, which leads to cheating.  Everyone knows strippers can be paid to do ANYTHING SEXUAL in ANY strip joint so why would your wife want you there? 

The only naked woman who should be sexually arousing you in any way is your wife!  Would you like it if your wife paid men arouse her knowing she’ll have the option to pay for him to give her oral sex or actual sex?  I highly doubt it, so what makes you think you’re entitled to do it then!   

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Yvonne Chase April 27, 2015

@John,

This is not about male bashing. This is about men in strip clubs…married men in strip clubs.

It’s so easy to blame the wife or GF and take zero responsibility isn’t it? Men go to strip clubs because they want to. It’s all a choice. If he’s not getting what he wants sexually from his wife, he ought to communicate not blame her.
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Vicki August 17, 2015

When I met my husband, I put it “point blank” before we ever went out that I was totally opposed to porn and strip clubs. He said that he’d looked at porn before, but it wasn’t a part of his life. 10 years later, I’ve found numerous pornos around the house, evidence of him looking at it and pleasuring himself, and now I just found out that he’s been going to a strip club on a regular basis and has chosen a particular stripper to hang out with. Our bank account is lower than normal, yet he denies everything. A friend of his told me this information, knowing that it would blow my world. My husband asked me to get a tan, wear tight cute clothes around the house, go braless, etc. and I did everything I could to excite my man. But none of it worked because he was “too tired” or “you wait too late to get things started”. I thought I had started “something” by doing as he wished. His sneaking to the strip club while I work night shift and paying all of the bills has made me hate to look at him. He said that none of it was true and he wants to make a fresh start in our relationship. Well, hell will freeze over before I let this man touch me again, and I am seeking divorce proceedings. He knew it would hurt me, yet he did it anyway. He did not respect me, our marriage or the fact that I put a roof over his head. A woman who goes to strip clubs with their man is just allowing herself to be used….he is thinking of them while having sex with her. Trust me, I know. My man wouldn’t even look at me while having sex, and when he did, everything “changed”.

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Yvonne Chase January 24, 2016

@Vicki,

Sorry you’re going through this. Glad you have the courage to divorce him. He essentially cheated on you with porn and strip clubs.

A colleague once told me she would never even date a man who viewed porn or went to strip clubs and I see why. It’s a hard addiction to kick.
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Kandyce Brothers October 29, 2015

Nothing and i mean nothing but bad and evil will avail to any man that attends strips clubs. These men are more than likely big consumers of online porn, which decreases how they healthfully interact with women, allows them to objectify women and in general desensitizes what is normal and abnormal sexual intimacy. My ex was addicted to strip clubs, porn and moved on to prostitutes; that along with his narcissist personality led to one abusive man! As for these partners choosing to attend strip clubs with their mate; they are opening a door, that they later will regret. NOTHING GOOD CAN COME OUT OF SEXUAL IMMORALITY…that is why God gives us strict commands about our bodies and sexual morals!!!

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Yvonne Chase February 20, 2016

@Kandyce,

And that’s why porn is so dangerous; it decreases how a man healthfully interacts with women. Women become objects solely for gratification.

Yea, I will never understand wives going to strip clubs with their husbands. That’s opening the door for all kinds of marital troubles.
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Jade January 23, 2016

I am a conservative Christian who married a non-believer. I was so naive at 26, though a college graduated, I never thought the husband I married is like a sex addict. He has German heritage where brothels seem to be a normal part of a man’s life. In their smalltown Neillsville Wisconsin, I was shocked to find out that there’s a big sex addict rehab center in that town. Having been married for 24 years, I went through delusion that my husband will someday change. We had many fights about his nighttime rendezvous and he denies everything. He is 51 years old now, looking old like a grandpa, while I look like in my early 30’s, because I play sports and a regular church goer. I have been looking forward to the day I will be financially liberated from him so I could start a new life. Now that my two children are going to college, I have been thinking of separating from this jerk. He has anxiety issues and hates to be with people (except strippers and prostitutes). He is financially oppressive cutting out financial support for me to visit relatives — We are not poor, my husband is a manager in a hightech industry — we have a nice house – but my husband never want me to engage in relationships with my relatives , or even visit my 85 year old widowed mother, i think for fear that he would lose control of money. He always bully me with money, because I don’t earn income outside the house. But I do work, a lot! Everything that breaks down in the house, including the care of our children since they were babies fall on my shoulders.
I have a dilemma, I have been praying to God to show me a path out of this demeaning relationship. I keep thinking for II Cor. where the believer is advised to stay in a marriage when the unbeliever wishes to stay. MY other dilemma, is my husband holds the financial security of our lives – the 401K etc… and he has kept access to information for himself. If I do get access and I talk about his Stock bonuses, he starts yelling at me and reprimanding me like I am a greedy person etc…Another fight would ensue — I am not a sports team captain for nothing. I fight back in words. I am waiting for the day that God would should up at my door – and take this jerk away. When His cup of wrath is full, it will spill out — and the sinners will get what is due them. That day has not come yet, and maybe, I need to start recreating my support group and leave him once the children are settled in their young adult lives. I am SAD. I love my kids, but we are not a solid family — never did my husband participate in church. It has always just been me and my two sons.

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Bee June 5, 2017

LEAVE HIM. BUT BEFORE you do; PRAY. Do this the next time you are 100% sure he will not be getting home for at least 24-48 hours. Also recruit your most meanest friend or relative to help you. If you have Wi-Fi or an alarm system turn it off. He probably monitors his office/den via video while he’s not home. Test it out first before you actually do what I tell you next. While he’s at work or away get all his information, financial, medical receipts, debit cards last 4 digits, etc and make photocopies of it all. As his wife of 25 years you have more PULL than you think. Get you a good divorce attorney, who IS NOT from the area of Wisconsin (avoid the good ole boys he might know in your state) and move to a SAFE area out of state with YOUR meanest relatives in case your husband tries to show up (they will gladly beat him thee heck up) and then with the armor of the Lord proceed forward. This man thinks he’s bigger than Satan himself and needs to be humbled. Don’t waste anymore years. Your husband has not been living with you in peace while he is a non-believer, but has used your Christian belief as a way to control manipulate and cheat. The bible calls us to live in peace….if we choose to dwell with a non-believer.

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Yvonne Chase January 24, 2016

@Jade,

Follow Vicki’s lead. Sorry you are going through this. You are not obligated to stay with a man who is unfaithful. That is grounds for divorce.
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Yugi February 20, 2016

What if the husband is in a sexless marriage? I got married 4 months ago and had sex once for 5 minutes 2 days after the wedding and nothing after that. I can’t even touch any parts of her body. She has no sex drive and she told me this whole time
That she wanted me to wait for marriage to have all the sex I want and now she says that sex isn’t important and when we are old, sex drive goes down anyway. I went to the strip club the other day and got a lap dance and have no regrets. I don’t mind going farther, maybe if women did their parts in marriage, husbands wouldn’t need to go to strip clubs.

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Selena June 6, 2017

Sounds to me like you’re simply in a bad marriage. Sex and intimacy is one of the biggest things that helps hold a marriage together! What you describe is not even a marriage to me. I always want sex with my husband. Your wife is just making excuses for some reason.

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Yvonne Chase February 20, 2016

@Yugi,

I am sorry you are having this experience. Have you and your wife gone to counseling to get to the bottom of it? I strongly recommend it.
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Shay November 5, 2016

I have an aunt whose husband spent a lot of time at the strip club. She was okay with it and would sometimes go in there to get him. I thought this was strange, but just thought I was being uptight. After reading this post, I know that I’m not.

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Yvonne Chase November 7, 2016

@Shay,

You are not uptight at all. Husbands in strip clubs will always be strange in my book.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Kleenex And Love At The NYC MarathonMy Profile

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C.l. Gerig January 25, 2017

The fact that you would describe strippers as smelly people leaking fluids shows a large amount of prejudice and therefore not worth following.

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Selena June 6, 2017

Try goin out to a gay guy strip club and shove your money in his crotch then or perhaps YOUR prejudiced.

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Lisa April 26, 2017

Test…

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Lisa April 26, 2017

Personally, I despise strippers. My dad did this BS to my mom. I watched all the fights over it due to him disrespecting that she didn’t want him there. Our family was totally screwed up cuz of it.

I will never allow strippers in my marriage. I wouldn’t want my neighbor or some woman sitting at the end of the bar dancing nude over my husband so why would I want some gutter whore stripper doin it!!

Performing sexual acts of any sort for money makes you a whore. I consider the whole stripper atmosphere to be cheating on your spouse. It’s totally unnecessary and it does nothing but cause marital problems.

I told my husband how I felt about strippers before we got married, and he knows the consequence will be divorce if he disrespected me like that. I’d never put up with stupid nonsense like that in my life.

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Manly man July 5, 2017

Then he’ll do it behind your back. Eventually

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Lisa July 5, 2017

When and if he does, the consequence will be divorce. He was told this long before we ever got married. I told him if this was the kind of stuff he wanted to do, then he has no business being married to ANYONE!

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Lisa July 5, 2017

Oh, I don’t believe for a minute that your ACTUALLY happily married not with an attitude towards relationships like you’ve got. And in the event you ARE actually married, I highly doubt you’ll remain that way.

Below is a post from “An Actual Stripper.” Now, if what she describes isn’t cheating, then what the hell is!! And what makes you think you’re entitled to do it!

Lynn March 30, 2014
I read this and felt compelled to comment. I’m speaking from the perspective of a former stripper, so I know what goes on in ALL of those places and it is not just ‘watching’ the girls. Don’t ever believe anyone when they tell you that ‘touching is not allowed’. If a man has money, he can get whatever he desires. I met many husbands over the years and most were there with the same excuse; ‘my wife doesn’t/won’t give me what I want at home’. A few were there because their buddies dragged them in and they couldn’t say ‘no’. I agree with the title of this article. I also believe that ANY man who wants to do God’s will should NEVER enter a strip club … no bachelor party, ‘stopped in for lunch’ or ‘we were just there to play pool’ excuses can ever make it OK. To the husbands who do go: Don’t expect your marriage to be blessed when you choose to play with the devil. To the wives: Don’t justify the actions or allow any form of pornography to be OK with you. Also, husbands are responsible for their own behavior.

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Mike Smith May 11, 2017

Y’all should take it down a notch. I myself do not go to strip clubs. Not because the thought of naked women makes me stay away, it’s because I am cheap. I know a ton of married men that go to strip clubs because men like boobs. None of these guys are cheating, and everyone of there wives have been told about it. To me it sounds like you all are sticking your nose where it does not belong to make yourself morally rich. Mind your business and let God judge. I see if I married one off you winning women I would want to be in the club to, where women tell you what they want you give them what they want and boobs! He is not the devil he just needed a new titty!

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Bee June 5, 2017

Mike your an idiot looking for attention. Perfect..Here’s an idea. I think based upon your post married women AND strippers would agree… Go to talk to the women that allow your self described “cheap” a.k.a. broke presence around them. They truly care about you. Strippers don’t whine and NEITHER do HAPPY WIVES with RESPECTFUL husbands that have money and good jobs. What Mike has to offer…Athomedate.com, subwayfootlongsfor$5bucks.com, drivingaroundsearchingforcheapgas.com with Mike….have 7.5 seats Mike….sighs…

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Selena June 6, 2017

Anything sexual outside your marriage is cheating. The only naked woman in your sexual life should be your wife. If you wanna hang out with other naked women, then you have no business being married to anyone. There’s no self respect or morals in strippers. Sounds to me like you should simply get yourself a prostitute then.

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Salma July 18, 2017

MEN LIKE BOOBS, LOL!  You think this is a reasonable excuse!  Women like cock, so does that mean we’re  entitled to have it too?  Relationships don’t work this way in the real world!  Behavior such as this is the reason for so much divorce.

Strippers are homewreckers out to steal your money as well as cheat behind your back with your partner!  That pretty much makes YOU the most naive mo-fo on the face of the earth. LOL!

I’d never marry a man who goes to strip clubs.  Just like EVERYONE agrees that strippers are NOT marriage material…NEITHER are the men who go there! 

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Charlotte May 19, 2017

My husband said he would never go to strip clubs or disrespect me with pornography. Well, he did. It took a long time for me to rebuild my trust. Just recently I caught him on craigslist “casual encounters” emailing a girl. I have been praying for the courage to leave him.

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Manly man July 5, 2017

Maybe he is doing that because he needs more sex from you. Perhaps, it’s because you’re a prude? Maybe you bitch too much about things he consider mundane, like strip clubs.
What women don’t understand is that men often times start watching porn before their pre teens, and enjoy a good beat off. Then a woman they love comes and tells them that something they been doing since they were a kid is not ok to do anymore. Out off resentment they end up in CL. I doubt he would have ended up there if he could have been more open with you without you judging him. All I’m saying is that if you want a long satisfying relationship with your husband, be more open and maybe he won’t lie or go behind your back. Men are all the same, a fine woman will turn them on, even if they have j lo at home. What separates the good from the bad is the ones who look and keep it moving vs the ones who look and go talk to them…. good luck.
I’ve had my wife’s grandpa tell me, men do what they gotta do, but at home treat them like a queen…. also my dad, and many other men have insinuated that men cheat and do what they have to do. I think that’s bs. I don’t have to stick my dick in another woman, but i am going to look. And if my wife doesn’t judge me for that which i consider petty we could have a healthy relationship. If she does on the other hand is where lying starts and can eventually get out of hand.
Good luck finding a man who can satisfy you, while at the same time think like a female….

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Selena July 5, 2017

Good luck finding a woman who would put up with you, LOL!!

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Kim July 18, 2017

Need more sex, prude, bitch too much….I know plenty of men I could fit right into this category, so you feel these are logical reasons that justifies your actions?  Cheating is never the way to go in any relationship.  When you do, it marks the beginning of the end for you every time.

It’s this behavior that causes distrust and loyalty issues in the first place. Anything sexual that involves someone other than your wife is a recipe for disaster in your relationship.

You also don’t need to be in a strip club to enjoy a good beat off – just another excuse to be around a naked woman other than your wife.  Don’t your hands work or somethin, jeez, LOL!

Think of it this way…If someone has an affair, but is honest with you about it, does that make the affair ok??? OF COURSE NOT, and how would you feel if your wife had some young, fine, ripped stud dancing over her, grinding her and getting her sexually aroused by sticking his cock to her mouth while she grabs HIS ASS!  How would you like It?

You know damn well this is NOT innocent fun whatsoever, but is a serious red flag of a man who shows disrespect to his wife.

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Wilma Parsons June 24, 2017

Married men do not belong in strip clin or any other place where scantily dressed are. The time for that was BEFORE you got married. As far as wives going with their husbands, you can bet he is treated much different than when he is alone! Duh! They go there for one reason only no matter what they tell you. The most of them are not telling you everything that happens when they are there without you. When a man has woman grinding his stuff ( whether he ejaculates or not) he is cheating! The “private ” rooms, that is most definetly cheating. Why are they even married? You are breaking your wife’s heart when you do these things. She never will be able to forget the hurt and insecurity you have caused her. If a man loves his wife why does he need or want to go to these places( including bachelor parties wherever they are held) when they have a wife( and family) that loves them?? Do they expect to have two “lives”? One as a loving husband and father and another as a carefree bachelor? There is nothing wrong with an unmarried man going to a strip clinic and doing anything he wants. He is the one that belongs there. I don’t understand why a married man would think it is okay to do the things they do in the strip vlubs. He can’t really love his wife if he is willing to do the things with strippers at a strip club, no matter the ocassion or who he is with.

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Manly man July 5, 2017

I don’t think women understand men if you think men don’t belong in a strip club. I read through the comments, one said why go to a strip club when you have a wife at home….
Well many reasons, firstly, maybe she isn’t in the mood, maybe her head hurts or is sleeping already….
Another one said men married or not don’t belong in a strip club, lol. She’s out of touch with reality and dating liers or prudes who probably won’t satisfy her sexually.
The blogger says it’s our money. No, it isn’t. Just because you sign a paper does not mean now his stuff is yours. Women are so entitled.
I bet if these women made any real money and married someone making 30k/yr would not consider her money, their money. I’m sure she would help him out if need be, but certainly would not consider her money theirs….
Lastly, you women will end up divorced. Men are just like males of the animal kingdom. We’re sexuality primitive. I have never met a man who doesn’t like the thought of a half naked woman, yet they won’t admit that to their wives, because like many of you are insecure.

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Selena July 5, 2017

You know, most people consider anything sexual outside their marriage to be cheating…OH WAIT…you mean I’ve had it backwards all this time??? How would you feel if your wife/girlfriend were in a male strip club with some luscious hunk of a man sticking his junk near her mouth while she grabs onto his ass? If you truly love someone, you wouldn’t want this being done by anyone but yourself! Not sure what’s wrong with you???

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Bonnie July 18, 2017

So, what you’re saying is, if your wife wants sex and YOU aren’t in the mood, it’s okay if she gets it someplace else, LMAO!! 

You obviously know nothin about having a committed relationship.  Nobody in their right mind would think cheating is just an animal instinct. You’re really delusional. LOL!

Women are not insecure just cuz they don’t agree with somethin YOU WANNA DO that there is no excuse for. 

We all know you’re basically there paying a whore to perform sexual acts and women know what this leads to – nobody is THAT naive.  Married men who go there are up to no good and this creates insecurity for their wife.

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Anon July 18, 2017

If my husband had an attitude about money and marriage like that, I’d make sure every cent he has finds its way to strange dick and then I’d divorce him. What kind of kindergarten bullshit is this anyway! This works both ways. Married men shouldn’t be out doin anything they wouldn’t agree with you doing behind their back.

Young single boys who aren’t hurting anyone are the only ones who should be allowed in places like that.

Actual MEN who settle down and get married should have this sort of thing out of their system by that time. They should be ready to show respect to their wife and respect the boundaries that go along with being married.

If there were some way to stick all these stripperwhores on an island and just nuke it, then this whole issue with all its problems goes away! Women need to learn how to respect themselves and stop acting like the homewreckers they are!

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M August 12, 2017

My husband just asked me if it was ok to hang out with his friend, “T”, next weekend. Well when he and I were just fooling around, I know they used to go to strip clubs sometimes and I was ok with it then because we weren’t a couple. But now that we are married, yes, absolutely I am against it. He’s given me some reasons to not trust him as much as I used to in the past year so I’m very uncomfortable with him going out anyway. Plus WE never do anything except sit here at home and he goes out to his shop and doesn’t come inside until late at night. I don’t like this at all that not only is he ready to head out anywhere with anyone when he never takes me anywhere but the person he’s going with will definitely want to hit the strip clubs. No, these aren’t some high dollar elite clubs with perfect girls but I don’t care if they are huge! They get naked and take our money. And since I’m the only one working in the house for almost two years I guess her sweaty string is getting MY MONEY!! So no I’m not ok and I told him but he will go anyway. And I won’t be here when he returns if he does. And I’m pretty sure his clothes will be in the burn pile.

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