What’s Wrong with Me?

by Yvonne Chase on August 15, 2012

What’s the Problem?
Last night on Twitter, one of my followers tweeted the following; I’m just really trying to understand what the problem is!?!  While she wasn’t speaking to me specifically, I felt the need to reply.  Here’s the conversation:

Me:        With what?

Her:       Me! I’m wondering is there a reason why every guy I begin to like drops off the face of the earth.

Me:        What do you mean? They stop calling? Tell me more?

Her:       Yes, exactly we talk, text, tweet consistently for a week then they just disappear! I’ve been analyzing and it doesn’t seem I’m doing anything wrong.

Me:        What do you all talk about? How much do you share?

Her:        Don’t share a lot.  We just usually talk about our interest and goals we may want to accomplish. Should our conversation be different?

Me:        No…That’s actually fine.  Sometimes we share too much. Do you ever discuss any past relationships or what you want?

Her:       Not that early.  Any suggestions? I feel terrible!

Me:        Call me.

Don’t Take it Personal
She called and I was able to get to the bottom of what’s happening with her and why.  The first thing I said to her was, “Don’t take it personal.”  Don Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements says, “Don’t take anything personally.  Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. 

Disappearing Act
As we continued to talk, I found out about her daughter whose father disappeared.  Something in me prompted a question about her father and he disappeared from her life at a very early age leaving her to wonder, “What’s wrong with me?”  Years later as a young woman, she’s still asking the question, “What’s wrong with me?”

Same Guy – Different Name
She’s been attracting the same guy with a different name and the root of it all is the first man that ever disappeared; her father.  After all was said and done, she had a light bulb moment and exhaled, “Wow, I never realized that connection.”

Childhood Patterns
Whether we know it or not, most of our relationship choices are based on patterns from our childhood.  With her new information in hand, she can break this pattern once and for all.   She can now let herself off the hook and move forward with her life in a very powerful way.  She will now begin to value herself in a new way because she knows she is not responsible for the actions of her father or the men that choose to walk away.  I encouraged her to look at the behaviors of these men as a gift.  I mean who wants to be with a guy that disappears?

Something to think about…

What say you…How has your childhood shaped your relationship choices? What patterns are you repeating? Chime in…

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