Worries That Consume Men
Worrying; specifically, worries that consume men in relationships was the topic of a recent conversation. Clark worries his income will come to an end soon. He has his own business that is very successful, however, because his business is one that requires his physical presence day in and day out, he’s worried he won’t be able to sustain it as he gets older. Clark is in the business of body work. He uses his physical body in his business.
What Could Happen In The Future
When he said his income will come to an end soon, I thought something happened to him; like maybe he sustained a life-threatening injury or his clients jumped ship or he got some bad news about his business. I had no idea he was worried about what could happen in the future.
Responsibility To Provide
I asked the married men in my life a question to get a better handle and understanding around what he’s feeling. The question I asked was, do you ever have worries about your ability to work and provide for your family? The man in question thinks all men worry about it. He says it’s the makeup of men to worry because men have the responsibility to provide.
Men Of Faith
I get that however, I don’t accept that as the full story especially when it comes to men of faith. Furthermore, many women today work and are able to help with the financial load. We are living in a two-income generation. We’re not living in the generation of my parents where wives stayed home and men went out to work.
A lot of men use the conversation about money/income/being a provider as a reason not to marry or as a reason to delay marriage. Clark is no different. Men focus on getting all of their ducks in a row financially before deciding to marry. They sit around like Clark worrying about what if this and what if that happens when the reality is, what if none of those bad things happen? I think the bigger reality is, men like Clark aren’t ready to marry. Men like Clark don’t want to marry the woman they’re with. Men like Clark think getting married is like going to get a root canal and a colonoscopy on the same day.
My Cup Runneth Over
One response to my question was, “Not really. I know God will provide because he always has. When I look back, I see his hand/provision/generosity so when I look forward, I’m way more hopeful than I am fearful.” And this is where the rubber meets the road for me. I am so glad the spirit of worry doesn’t rest anywhere on my life or near it. When I tell you I don’t worry about anything, I mean it. God has been 100% faithful in keeping his word to always supply everything I need. My cup runneth over!
Walk By Faith Not By Sight
Either you trust God, believe God and have faith in God or you don’t. I believe worry comes when we are trusting and believing in our own abilities while walking by sight and not faith. Walk by faith, not by sight is how it goes plus Matthew 6 boldly tells us not to worry:
Do Not Worry
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?
Some of the other answers to my question mentioned sound financial principals like the importance of living within our means, budgeting, investing, setting up an emergency fund/contingency plan and being wise stewards over what God gives us. In addition to the command in Matthew, 1 Peter tells us to cast all of our cares on God for he cares for us. What’s the use in worrying?
In Spite Of His Worries
Let me say this in closing, when a man wants to be married and he’s found a woman to marry, he marries her in spite of his worries. I watched a pastor the other day talk about how terrified he was when he met the woman he wanted to marry. He never knew his dad and had no examples in his life of what it meant to be a good husband. In addition, his work life wasn’t all that solid yet he didn’t let any of that stop him from marrying the woman he now calls his wife.
Trust God Instead
He said, “Success came for me once I got married.” He is now the Associate Pastor at one of the largest churches in America, he’s got a TV show, a book and lots of other deals in the works. He and his wife work together in ministry and they are building a great legacy for their children. Sure, he could’ve let his worry and fears get in the way, however, he decided to trust God instead. Worrying is disobedience to God. Don’t let worry cost you your destiny.
What say you? Is worrying about his future yet another reason to delay marriage? Is it wise for a man to delay marriage until all of his ducks are in a row?
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