On December 2nd, 2019, I had no idea God was setting me up to blow my mind. I had no idea that what was happening to me was actually happening for me. As I said in this post, on this day, one year ago, I moved back into the house I grew up in to help care for my 88-year old father. I had no idea I was walking into a trap.
Putting up a tree, playing great music, cooking a delicious meal, and enjoying a time of celebration and festivities with our friends, family and some of his church family is all I wanted to do last Christmas. It’s the most wonderful time of the year for me. Instead, I checked into one of my favorite hotels where I spent four days including Christmas Eve and Christmas because, by that time, the abuser had turned the house into a literal war zone.
I won’t go into all the details now of all I endured during that time, but things got so bad that an order of protection was granted to me by the family court. That order protected me until the day God led me away on September 16th, 2020. I’d probably be dead or in jail if it were not for that order because here’s what I believe with every fiber of my being; my siblings would kill me if they could get away with it. There are no words and I mean no words to describe what I lived through for 10 months. It was beyond evil!
On the evening of September 16th, before I left, I went upstairs to see my Dad. Early in the afternoon as I did on most days, I heard him screaming at the top of his lungs at her; “Don’t pull me! Stop pushing me! You’re hurting me! Stop! You’re trying to kill me! What I saw when I went into his room will stay with me forever. I was mortified!
About an hour or so prior, I saw the abuser in the kitchen stirring something into his drink and I said to myself, “Is she poisoning him?” When I walked into his room, he was laying on his back with his eyes rolling up in his head and his tongue flailing out of the side of his mouth. It looked like he was high on drugs. He didn’t even know I was in the room. I snapped a couple of pics, said good-bye, kissed him on his forehead, and left.
Since that day, I’ve shown that photo to several people. The unanimous response is shock and awe. One person said, “I was with my grandfather the day he was dying, and this is how he looked. Your father looks dead.” I don’t know if he’s dead or alive however I do know that during those ten months, I did everything in my power to protect him. He’s out of my hands and in God’s hands. Why God allowed an elder to be treated in such an evil way is something I will never understand. Have you seen the movie Misery? The dynamic between Annie (Kathy Bates) and Paul (James Caan) is my father’s life. He’s trapped!
But what a difference a year makes. Today, I’m all moved into my place aka “The Golden Arches” surrounded by beauty and most importantly peace. It’s so beautiful, so spacious, and it has so much character! Also, I lived to celebrate another birthday in November, and Thanksgiving Day was filled with good music while cooking my favorite dishes and hanging out in my breakfast nook. As we approach Christmas, I’m excited to put up a tree for the first time in many years and I look forward to decking the halls.
I haven’t been on the blog for a couple of months, however, I popped in today because many of you have reached out via email wondering where I am and if I’m okay. Some of you even left comments on my last post inquiring. Thank you for checking on me. All is well in my world and I am doing great. I had a lot of boxes to unpack and a lot to set up while getting situated in my new life.
I’m beyond grateful to be alive and so thankful that my health didn’t take a hit because of all the stress I faced. The body keeps the score which is why I bought twenty mangoes weekly and followed a strict regimen to keep my immune system strong. So, to all of you who wondered why I gorged so many mangoes, now you know!
In closing, I leave you with this verse, “You plotted evil against me, but God turned it into good.” That’s what he does. I don’t know what you’re going through but I know the only way out is through. He led me to it, he kept me in it, and he brought me out of it victorious. He will do the same for you. Keep going.
Something to think about…
What say you? It’s been a while. Fill me in on what’s been happening with you. Are you putting up a Christmas tree this year and decking the halls or has COVID stolen your joy?Â
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1. Leave a comment below
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