“Timelines” Only Apply To Women Not Men

by Yvonne Chase on July 15, 2019

Whose timeline are you following for your life? God? Your parents? Family? Culture? Society? In her new docu-series “Timelines”, Katie Couric profiles four women from around the world and explores the pressures put on women by their families and society to marry. Watch the video below and we’ll talk after:

Maluca

I am Maluca and Maluca is me. My life and who I am as a woman in this world is not defined by marriage. And yes, because my life has taken a different direction, it’s caused a whole lot of tension between my parents and me. On two occasions, my father angrily said, “You’re the most different child I have. Where did you come from?” Here’s how my adult life should look according to my parents and my Caribbean culture:

  • Go to college and graduate 
  • Get a stable job; teacher, nurse, doctor, lawyer, government job, etc.
  • Marry (If you don’t marry, you live at home.)
  • Buy a house 
  • Have kids + raise kids
  • Die

Well, I can put a check mark next to graduate college and that’s it. Meanwhile, my siblings have all followed the timeline which looks like they did it right I did/am doing it wrong. Unlike the women in this series, I don’t have a laser focus on work or chasing a dream that delays marriage. It simply hasn’t happened…yet and I say yet because I’m still alive. Obviously, God has a different timeline for my life that may or may not include marriage. Never wanted children coming out of my own body so I’m good in that space. Here’s another video from “Timelines”:

Timelines in China

Am I the only one who noticed a stark difference in the appearance of the two friends? The single friend is stylish and well put together while the married woman looks frumpy and dowdy. Not sure why that stood out to me but it did. Images make a difference because they influence how we feel about a thing. 

Timelines Only Apply To Women

No matter the culture, many people think like the best friend who says, “I don’t want her to be so focused on her work. I want her to be satisfied with her life. I want her to get married.” God help us if marriage is the only way to live a satisfying life.

timelines

I’m sure my father would feel better about my life if I were married and could check off everything on the list above because, for him and my culture, those are all external hallmarks of success. I know he has many concerns about me living alone and going through life alone but here’s the thing, even when I’m alone physically, I’m never alone because Jesus is with me every step of the way. He supplies what I need, opens doors for me, closes doors he doesn’t want me to walk through and leads me through the timeline he designed specifically for my life. At the end of the day, his timeline is the only one that matters. 

Something to think about…

What say you? Is there a lot of pressure on women to get married in your culture/your family? What are your thoughts on “Timelines?”

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