Lessons To Learn
Season 6 of Married at First Sight pulled into the station and I’m watching. For some reason, I can’t seem to get off of this ride. As much as I don’t believe in experimenting with marriage, there are lots of valuable lessons to learn.
Marrying A Complete Stranger
Episode one introduced us to three couples who will put the cart before the horse and marry a complete stranger. Of course, we have our lone black couple along for the ride. To date, none of the black couples have stayed married.
Wait To Consummate
This season, Shawniece, 29 and Jephte, 26 might have a chance because she says she will wait to consummate. In past seasons, each black couple consummated immediately. If you ask me, that one step was the death of their marriage. In addition, Shawniece and Jephte both come from large families where each is close to their siblings and parents.
1. I desperately want to be married by the time I turn thirty. Desperate and marriage don’t go together. If you’re desperate to be married for any reason, pump your breaks. Age, ticking biological clock, I been single for too long, loneliness, all of my friends are married, and all the bad reasons people marry often lead us to the wrong person.
2. I want to be happy. During the matchmaking special, the experts asked potential participants why they want to be married. The overwhelming response was, “I want to be happy!” NEWSFLASH: Marriage won’t make you happy. If marriage made us happy, the divorce rate wouldn’t be what it is today. Marriage may add happiness to your life but it is not the secret to happiness. Furthermore, happiness is fleeting and changes depending on circumstance. Question for you, why aren’t you happy now? Saying I want to be happy suggests you’re unhappy. Instead of seeking marriage, how about you figure out your happiness first then bring your happy self to a relationship. No one wants to be around an unhappy person, furthermore, you are likely to attract someone who is not good for you because you’re unhappy.
3. It’s the next step. I graduated college with advanced degrees, got a job and a big promotion and now it’s time to marry. Marriage is not a to-do list item. A colleague jumped into marriage because she was raised to believe it’s the next step. Today she regrets it. Here’s an option, take advantage of living single. Get to know yourself better. Expand your horizons. Be who you want to be in the world. Spend time with God and let him make you over from the inside out. Take your time and do it when you’re ready.
Good Enough Won’t Do
Getting married for any of the above reasons will lead you to a “good enough” person. I don’t know about you, but good enough won’t do for me. I’m holding out for God’s best and so should you.
All The Wrong Reasons
When couples divorce, we’re quick to blame marriage as if it’s the problem. It’s not. Marriage was a good thing when God created it in the beginning and it’s still a good thing now. What’s wrong are the people marrying for all the wrong reasons. Let’s make a conscious effort to do better in 2018.
Something to think about…
What say you? What are other bad reasons to marry?
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