4 Marriage Tips from LL Cool J’s Wife

by Yvonne Chase on January 28, 2013

What Makes This Marriage Work?
Last night I sat down to watch Oprah’s Next Chapter interview with LL Cool J.  I enjoyed the interview. Didn’t know he had such a great personality.  Well done Oprah.  After talking about his career and such, his wife Simone of eighteen years joined the conversation.  When asked, “What has made this marriage work?” Simone shared four tips:

1.  Putting God first.  If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it twice and many times after to the point that I sound like a scratched record...marriage will not work until you put God first and keep him first.  That means acknowledging him daily and keeping him at the forefront of everything.   That means laying your marriage at his feet and giving him full reign and rule over it.

2.  Compromise.  Its all about give and take.  Its all about considering what your mate needs and wants.  You won’t always get your way.  Its not about one person always giving in to keep the peace either.  That can get really old after a while and build up resentment.  Compromise is all about creating win-win situations for you and your mate.

3.  Picking your battles.  One night while laying in bed, I was listening to a marriage podcast hosted by two Christian counselors.  They shared a story about a couple who came to see them about a major crisis in their marriage.  When the couple arrived at their office, they went on and on about how they don’t know what to do, they don’t think they can go on like this and how much they desperately needed help.  The counselors both asked them what the problem was and the wife started off by saying, he constantly leaves the butter dish uncovered in the kitchen.  I’ve asked him repeatedly to put it in the fridge and he just won’t do it.  After listening to them go on and on about the uncovered, misplaced butter dish, the counselors both said they wanted to slap them in the name of Jesus.  They wondered if they were being Punk’d.  They were waiting for Ashton Kutcher and his camera crew to appear on the scene.  Clearly this couple does not know how to pick their battles.  If your spouse leaves the butter dish out or the toilet seat up, just put the butter away, put the toilet seat down and shut up about it.  Those are battles that don’t need to be mentioned to anyone.  You should be embarrassed to call a counselor to discuss butter.  YIKES!

4.  Equally yoked.  Yesterday after church, a friend and I were talking about this very thing.  We both agreed that our playing field for meeting and finding a suitable mate is pretty narrow.  For him and I, marrying a believer is priority.  And not just a believer in word but a believer in deed.  A man and woman of God that worships God and is submitted to the power of the Holy Spirit.  A man and woman of God who’s faith dictates their day, decisions and destiny.  In addition to faith, being equally yoked transcends to all areas of life; vision, values, life purpose, goals for living etc.  Marriage works when both people are on the same page about the majors then learn how to navigate the minors.

Something to think about…

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Kadiyah Lodge January 28, 2013

Great advice! I agree wholeheartedly. I think if these things are in place when you’re approaching marriage, a strong union will exist. Sadly, and I speak from experience, when God is not present, your marriage is doomed for failure.

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website November 6, 2013

When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox
and now each time a comment is added I get three emails
with the same comment. Is there any way you can remove me from that service?
Many thanks!

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wendy March 1, 2014

I believe all that you and is fact. Right now my marriage I on the rocks. Went through his bag and saw wht I didnt want to. Now its my fault some how.

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Trina November 7, 2015

Leave him and then make it his fault. Then he will see how it feels to be blindsided by lies and deceit. This is their game to flip the emotions back on you so that it takes the heat of him
If, you let him get away with this you will open the door for more deceit and lies. Stand strong because you have to set standards in the beginning otherwise they will try to run over you.

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