6 Things To Do When You’re Not Going On Dates Or Dating

by Yvonne Chase on March 14, 2017

Actively Engaged
In response to my post, Date for Fun Or Date To Meet The One, a reader asks, “But what do you do if you’re not going on dates?” Great question! I’m glad you asked. Below are 6 things to keep you busy and actively engaged in life while you’re not going on dates:

1. Find out the Purpose of your life.  Become obsessed with finding out your purpose then consume your life with fulfilling it.  Ask God to reveal it. He created you and is the only one who knows. Purpose is why we wake up in the morning and why we make certain decisions and not others. It’s the foundation of our lives. 

2. Create a life that makes your heart sing.  This is very easy to do when we know our purpose. Purpose gives your life direction. It leads you to people, places, and things that add layers of excitement and Joi de Vivre to your life.  A life you love might look like going on a missions trip. It might also look like relocating to a new city. The best time to relocate is when you’re single. I did it many years ago and it literally set the course of my life and drew me closer to God in a way that may not have happened otherwise.  

3. Get into self-care. You all know I’m big on self-care as a matter of fact, I wrote an entire post about some of the ways I take care of me. Go here to read it then put together a plan of how you will intentionally take care of you. Once you become intentional about it, then it will become a part of your lifestyle.  

4. Go sit on the couch.  We all have issues. If you think you have none, you have the most.  I believe in therapy, counseling, coaching, meeting with your pastor and anything else that will help you become your best.  If there’s something going on in your life that you can’t seem to get a handle on, while you’re single and not going on dates is the best time to get to the bottom of it.  Minimize your baggage now.

5. Find out what makes you happy and do it often. I love cooking. It makes me happy. Over the weekend I went to Costco to stock up and then on Sunday I was in my kitchen making a quinoa salad, roasting Brussel sprouts, butternut squash and doing some serious meal prep for the week. Meal prep makes me happy too and what makes me happiest is taking great care of my temple and feeding it great food. See how that all ties together? Since I’m snowed in today, I whipped up a stack of spelt flour pancakes and topped them with blueberries. Yum! What makes you happy? Remember, you are responsible for your own happiness.

6. Become a great communicator.  Communication is the key. You need to know how to communicate effectively before you go on dates and definitely before you enter a relationship. Poor communication destroys relationships. Often times we communicate poorly out of our own pain and baggage which is why I want you to go sit on the couch. Work all that stuff out so that you can communicate without being defensive, critical, disrespectful or shutting down.

Makes Your Heart Sing
To sum it all up, when you find out your purpose, your life takes on new meaning and you are now equipped to create a life the makes your heart sing. Self-care is now second nature and a part of taking care of you is taking care of any issues that plague you.  

Do It Often
As you sit on the couch, you will find out what makes you happy and do it often plus talking to someone about your issues will help you become a much better communicator in the long run.  I wish you well on your journey of self-discovery, acceptance, and love.

Something to think about…

What say you?  What else do suggest doing while not going on dates or dating? 

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

1. Leave a comment below

2. Share this post if you like it

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Kathy March 14, 2017

I love this and I have to say this is excellent advise for those of us who are married! It’s so easy even when we’re in a relationship to loose ourselves, to get in a funk, to forget to go on dates with our spouse, to put aside what is most joyful and helps us grow! You list is a must for all of us to love ourselves so we can be better in all our relationships, single or not! Excellent post..visiting from nextdoor at #testimonytuesday


Yvonne Chase March 14, 2017


I didn’t even think about for married people however, you’re absolutely right. You make a great point about losing ourselves in relationships and getting into a funk. The more we love ourselves and take care of ourselves, the better people we will be in all of our relationships.

Thanks for visiting, reading and leaving a comment.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Life Does Not End When A Relationship EndsMy Profile


Diane March 14, 2017

I really like this. Thanks Yvonne!
I will be sure to re-read, mediate and act on it. I have already begun these but sometimes societal pressures, good news from others and even inner peer pressure (that voice in your head) tends to distract. But now that I know that I am on the right track…well, I am not getting off of it.
Thanks for all you do as our Cheerleader! You are a true blessing! 🙂


Yvonne Chase March 14, 2017


I will always be your Cheerleader! Glad you’re on the right track. Staying on the right track will require laser focus. Don’t look to your left or to your right. Look straight ahead to avoid distractions.
You got this and I got you!
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Live Your Values And You’re Bound To Attract Someone Doing The SameMy Profile


Bethany McIlrath March 16, 2017

Good advice for us married people too! Thanks!
Bethany McIlrath recently posted…Knowledge Isn’t All Powerful (4/6)My Profile


Yvonne Chase March 16, 2017


When I wrote this post, I didn’t have married people in mind yet, you are the second married person to mention how applicable it is to your life.

To God be the glory. Thank you for reading and letting me know.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Gayle King Doesn’t Ask If He’s Married But You BetterMy Profile


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