Reality Rewind: A Pretty Face Doesn’t Mean A Pretty Heart

by Yvonne Chase on April 1, 2015

First Night Alone
Have you been watching Season 2 of Married At First Sight? No worries if you haven’t.  I’m here to fill you in.  On last night’s episode, the newlyweds spent their first night alone as husband and wife then took off on their honeymoons.  The only couple to consummate were Jessica and Ryan D.  Ryan says, “It was more than sex.  It was intimacy,” That didn’t go over well for Monet and Vaughn in season one who divorced.  Hopefully, Jessica and Ryan D. will have a different outcome.

Willingly Signed Up To Marry A Total Stranger
Jaclyn is still carrying on about how much she’s not attracted to her husband Ryan R.  She’s so annoying!  As far as I know, Jaclyn willingly signed up to marry a total stranger at first sight.  She willingly signed up to marry a man she couldn’t Google.  She knew she wouldn’t see his face or know his name until they met at the altar yet every week she carries on as if someone put a gun to her head.

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Steep Learning Curve
If you sign up to marry a total stranger, you ought to do it with the attitude of her new husband Ryan R. who is committed to giving the process time to work.  He knows there will be a steep learning curve because they know nothing about each other. He’s willing to give it a chance in order to get the best outcome meanwhile she’s constantly carrying on about the fact that she wasn’t instantly attracted to him.  Last night she was carrying on about his face and how it just doesn’t do it for her as if she’s Miss America.  According to my Twitter peeps, on a scale of 1-10, she’s a soft 5.

She Doesn’t Give Men A Chance
I’ve been watching her antics for the past three weeks and can clearly see why she’s been single for seven years.  She doesn’t give men a chance.  It’s an issue if she’s not instantly attracted to a guy and she doesn’t instantly feel like he’s her soulmate. In addition, it doesn’t seem like she knows how to be with a man.  It’s not exactly endearing to constantly refer to your mate as “dude” and “bro” even if you just met him at the altar.

He’s Turned Off
Even though, he’s attracted to her and thinks she’s beautiful, he’s turned off and I can’t say I blame him.  He feels like she’s putting him in the friend zone.  One thing she did last night that really pissed him off was ordering for him when they went to dinner.  For the life of me I couldn’t understand why she made that choice.  She ordered for him like he was a child and she was his mother.  Ryan wasn’t feeling it at all.  He told the cameras, “That’s not something I’m used to. I think it’s sweet and I think it’s endearing, but I don’t need a mother.”  

Sparks And Instant Attraction
If Jaclyn doesn’t get it together, she just might be single for the rest of her days.  We have to give people a chance. We can’t just write someone off because they don’t look like this or act like that.  We have to really get to know a person; heart, soul and essential values.  We can’t just focus on sparks and instant attraction.  That fades away quickly and then what? Jaclyn needs to focus more on the innards instead of the outward appearance.  And by the way as I’ve said in previous posts, Ryan is a good looking guy with what seems to be a great heart.  His sister died a few years ago then her husband died a few years after leaving behind his niece that he’s been raising.  He says, “I’m whatever she needs me to be; dad, uncle, brother etc.” Plus he’s got great support from his family.

Instant Chemistry Fizzle And Fade Dance
Davina and Sean, another couple, can’t keep their hands and lips off each other yet from watching them, I don’t think they’re going to make it as a married couple.  He’s a handsome silver fox and she’s a beautiful brunette.  They’re both settled in their careers and seem to have it all together yet it seems like the chemistry between them is it.  You and I both know that’s not enough to sustain a marriage.  Davina says she’s taking it slow with Sean because she’s done the instant attraction fizzle and fade dance.  Here’s the moral of the story: Don’t dismiss a guy because you don’t feel an instant chemistry and don’t jump in feet first because you do.  Get to know the innards first then decide.  

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“That’s always seemed so ridiculous to me, that people want to be around someone because they’re pretty.  It’s like picking your breakfast cereals based on color instead of taste.” ― John GreenPaper Towns

Something to think about…

What say you? How much do you rely on physical attraction/chemistry when choosing a mate? Have you jumped into a relationship because the instant attraction was so strong? What was the outcome? 

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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

AwesomelyOZ April 2, 2015

That’s a really sweet story about Ryan R. He definitely sounds like a very nice guy – It’s a shame if Jaclyn would lose a guy like that over something so superficial. I’ve definitely jumped into soon and agree it’s better to wait whether the physical attraction is there or not. It’s not worth it and I agree you gotta get to know the person at a more complex level. Have a great one Yvonne! -Iva
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Yvonne Chase April 4, 2015

@Iva,

I don’t know Ryan R. from a can of paint but I do know a nice guy when I see one. He could be a wolf in sheep’s clothing but I highly doubt it. Either way, Jaclyn will never know his heart if she doesn’t give him a chance. You can’t throw everyone away then gripe about being single. After a while its not them, its you!
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Samantha Angell April 4, 2015

I’ve got to admit, I saw a couple episodes of Married at First Sight and kind of thought it was crazy at first. I mean, people have a hard enough time making a marriage work when they knew the person first… but nonetheless, I agree with the statement that a pretty face doesn’t mean a pretty heart. I’ve always heard the saying “if the words you spoke were written on your skin, would you still be beautiful?” and loved the meaning of that.
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Yvonne Chase April 4, 2015

@Samantha,

I never heard this but I like it: “if the words you spoke were written on your skin, would you still be beautiful?” Definitely something to think about…
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Otir April 12, 2015

I have to admit it, I am fascinated by this reality tv show and I enjoy it a lot. I watched season 1 thinking it was going to be a train wreck and was proven wrong as I got to love the show, and also liked the young couples immensely. Now, I am thrilled to watch season 2 and very much into it. And very fond of these young men and women, brave enough to take those chances and trusting the process and the experts.

Now, to answer your questions with my personal experience, I did marry someone I had been physically attracted to immediately, and even though it took many years before dating, and some more years before marrying, and some more years before having children together, I never listened to the numerous red flags and the marriage ended as a complete disaster, I have yet to overcome (and it ended more than 13 years ago, still not over my divorce! and still not able to going back to the dating scene…)

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Yvonne Chase April 19, 2015

@Otir,

I am beyond fascinated by this show and I thoroughly enjoy it. Its my Tuesday night “Must see TV.” You definitely have to be brave to do this and you must trust the process which is why I’m such a huge fan of Ryan R. He’s all in and he completely trusts the process and the experts. I think the experts got it right with him and Jaclyn. They will be the breakout stars of Season 2.

So sorry you had such an awful experience. The first thought that comes to mind is, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I’m sure you are a much stronger woman today. Keep your chin up. It gets better and this too shall pass…it always does.
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