Abstinence And Celibacy Don’t Make Sense After A Certain Age

by Yvonne Chase on March 27, 2017

Abstinence And Celibacy
My weekend was filled with all kinds of interesting conversations.  One conversation that stood out to me was about abstinence and celibacy. A girlfriend and I were discussing a couple we both know who are in a celibate relationship that had been going really well until it wasn’t. Nothing happened that either of us knows of, however, the young lady in the relationship said all of a sudden the guy began making things an issue that was never an issue and she can’t seem to figure out why.

It’s About Obedience
My girlfriend knows the gentleman.  When she found out they were not having sex, she couldn’t understand why.  I told her their Christians is the root of their decision. For them, it’s about obedience. Although she got it, it didn’t make sense to her. 

Afraid To Say It
She thinks the relationship went left all of a sudden because the man now wants to have sex and he doesn’t know how to say it.  Here’s what she said, “Not having sex after a certain age doesn’t make sense. They’re not in their twenties. They’ve already been there and done that. She’s almost fifty and he’s in his fifty’s. What are they trying to prove? Knowing him the way I do, I believe he definitely wants to have sex but is afraid to say it.”

A World Of Problems
I told her his girlfriend asked him if that is the issue and he said, “Yes, I want to have sex but I want to have married sex.” After thinking about our conversation, a lot came to mind.  When we don’t obey God, we create a world of problems for our lives.

Married Too Young
The posts I wrote about marrying young came to mind.  When you marry young, and hopefully as a virgin, you won’t find yourself as a late forty-something or early fifty-something person practicing celibacy or maybe you might if you get divorced because you married too young.

God Requires Obedience
Look, I don’t know how you put this puzzle together but I do know this, if we say we’re Christians, God requires obedience.  Sex outside of marriage is wrong at every age.  Sure, the best way is to marry young while we’re all virgins, however, that’s not the way it’s happening.  Parents are teaching their daughters to remain virgins, however, they’re not raising their sons to find wives.

Remaining Pure
I was happy when one of my readers in response to my post Date For Fun Or Date To Find The One shared she was teaching her son the importance of dating to find the one and remaining pure until he does. More mothers need to follow her lead, I mean if men aren’t being raised to find wives, we’ll be celibate and abstinent on our way to the grave. LOL! Jesus be a fence!

Dating To Find The One
The Bible is clear, “He who finds a wife” not she who finds a husband, however, the woman must make herself available to be found. Also, as another girlfriend said to me over the weekend, the expected end of a Christian dating relationship is marriage otherwise what is it there for? I agree, which is why a man has to have decided within himself that he is ready to be married before dating to find the one. The man in this relationship has been in it for a little over a year plus he was celibate two years prior. I think it’s safe to say his hormones are raging?

Something to think about…

What say you? What are your thoughts on abstinence and celibacy after a certain age? Parents, are you raising your sons to find a wife at an early age? What are you teaching your sons about purity and marriage?

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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Donna Reidland March 27, 2017

Great post, Yvonne. We all have to do our part, don’t we?! Parents, men, women, but it’s good to know God is sovereignly working in it all!
Donna Reidland recently posted…“When to Help and When to Get Out of the Way” March 27My Profile


Yvonne Chase March 29, 2017


Yes, we all definitely have to do our part, however, based on what I see, parents need to do a better job of instructing their young sons in the way of marriage and purity.

They lean in hard on their daughters with that message. It’s nowhere near the same with their sons if at all.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…6 Things To Do When You’re Not Going On Dates Or DatingMy Profile


Maree Dee March 29, 2017

I believe the Bible applies to all ages. However, it is always difficult to obey no matter what age you are. I haven’t walked in the shoes of being 50 and single. I imagine it is difficult. I have run across many who after a certain age it no longer applies. Only God know but I haven’t found a passage yet that give a time limit.


Yvonne Chase March 29, 2017


Me too! The Bible most definitely applies to all ages and like you, I haven’t found a passage yet that offers a time limit and I know for sure there isn’t one.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Gayle King Doesn’t Ask If He’s Married But You BetterMy Profile


Becky Hastings March 29, 2017

I think the best part of this is the conversation! Opening the conversation is the best way to bring light to the issue!

It’s easy to say we believe something until we’re asked why 😉
Becky Hastings recently posted…Books I’m Reading in MarchMy Profile


Edith Ohaja March 30, 2017

Glad to connect with you through the Sitting Among Friends Linkup.. I like the emphasis on obeying God irrespective of age. The Christian lifestyle is a lifetime thing and there is God’s grace at every stage. Thanks for sharing.


Yvonne Chase March 30, 2017


Amen to this: “The Christian lifestyle is a lifetime thing and there is God’s grace at every stage.” Yes! Absolutely!
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Marriage Is Like Getting A Root Canal And A ColonoscopyMy Profile


Mary Hill April 3, 2017

This is such an important message for young people. Remaining pure unto marriage is so central to our Christian walk. It is something I pray for my daughter. Thanks for sharing on the #LMMLinkup this week.
Mary Hill recently posted…#LMMLinkup: Filling Your Kids With TruthMy Profile


Anna April 14, 2017

Timely post. Celibacy is a way of life for me that is rooted in my relationship with God. I’d probably be celibate apart from it because the level of sexual immorality in the world is terrifying.


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