Act Like a Lady; Think Like a Lady

by Yvonne Chase on February 10, 2012

Last night I attended the premiere of the movie Think Like a Man and I must say I enjoyed it.  Kevin Heart completely stole the show and made it hilariously funny.  Watch the trailer and we’ll talk after…

Resurrected Savior
For those of you not familiar, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man is the relationship book written by Steve Harvey; the resurrected Savior of black women’s relationship woes…sigh! When the book came out several years ago, my telephone and inbox blew up. You see; I used to write a weekly an online newsletter that anyone could subscribe too and when I read the book, I honestly felt like I was reading my newsletter word for word and so did the multitudes of people that blew up my phone and inbox.

Mind Games and Manipulation
While I get the principle Steve was going after in the book and in the movie, ladies, there is no need to think like a man. Ladies need to be ladies and think like ladies and men need to be men and act like men.  That was the overall message in every issue of my newsletter and it’s the overall message of every post here.  There’s no room for playing mind games and manipulation in the space of navigating healthy relationships.

Withhold or Wait?
Without giving too much away, the movie and book are about women – black women, specifically, who are not getting what they want in relationships. One of the biggest tips Steve offers women is withhold sex for 90 days. I say follow Gods design and wait until marriage.  Here’s the deal that nobody wants to hear, until we embrace God’s way of doing relationships, our relationships will never work.  There’s a role that men play and there’s a role that women play in coming together.

Abundant Single Life or Helpmeet
Dear Single Lady, God has two plans for you in the realm of relationships – to live an abundant single life or to be a helpmeet to your husband.  That’s it! Therefore, if you’re in a relationship and you find yourself as his live in girlfriend that he won’t marry even though you feel you’ve given him every reason too, or his random booty call or his friend with benefits or jump off, you have deviated away from God’s plan which includes; no sex outside of marriage, no shacking up and no acting like a wife when you’re just a girlfriend.  Following these basic principles will keep you happily single and enjoying life until his choice for you finds you.

Speak Up and Walk Away
I was discussing this with a male colleague and I love what he says, nobody needs to act like anybody.  We need to act like who we are.  If we were all supposed to be the same, God would’ve created us the same.  No one that I know claims to read minds so unless you tell me, I’m just guessing and assuming and we all know what happens when we assume.   Know what you want, know what’s acceptable and unacceptable, have the courage to speak up then the boldness to walk away if you’re not getting it.  That is how mature adults need to act and think in relationships.

Something to think about…

What say you…Do women need to think like men? Will that help them get better relationships? How should men act while women are thinking like men?

P.S. I’ll go into more detail after the movie hits theaters on April 20th.

{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }

Candice Frederick February 10, 2012

i love this. thanks so much for these words. while i get their point, in that we should play the man’s game, i don’t believe men would like it very much if we just started acted like them. love smart, act smart

Reply

MJ February 19, 2012

Hi Yvonne,

Spot on! I think women and men need to be respectful, honest, kind, thoughtful, and loving. All those games on both sides are unnecessary, and just help the foolishness going.

Reply

Tolga February 28, 2012

This is a great article. I could’t agree more. When I look at my friends who have been in long term happy relationships, I envy them. I was married once and had 2 significant relationships, but I will tell you that the path I chose has been filled with highs and lows. At 54 I have found that I get sick more often than my peers, my life has been more rocky, and I find myself envying the people in my life who have been happily married for years. Thanks for writing this!

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Krys Talley April 13, 2012

“…until we embrace God’s way of doing relationships, our relationships will never work.”

This was all that I needed to paste here in order to give my feedback, because that statement is exactly how I feel! Love the article…as I stated to you on Twitter, I wrote one pertaining to the same #ThinkLikeaMan topic and basically feel the same way you do. Thanks for the post!

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