Christian Singles Chat Rewind: Agree Or Disagree?
September 12, 2013 Christian Singles Chat

Agree or Disagree?
Tonight’s Christian singles chat was great.  I switched it up a bit.  Instead of questions, I threw out statements with the option to agree or disagree then share why.  Statements 1, 2 and 3 got the chat off to a great start.

Statement 1: “Sexual temptation/frustration is a great reason to get married

Statement 2:  “It’s better to marry than to burn with lust” means get married and have sex. 

Statement 3:  Is that verse directed at pleasing your flesh or obeying God?

@GetACommitment said, “Sexual tension is a strong motivator but never a great primary REASON for marriage, in my opinion.  Not sure from a religious standpoint. But from a practical standpoint, better to marry before making babies.”

@LolaOcean said, “A fruit of the spirit is self-control. Lust exists but we can’t succumb to it.”

@MsPoohB said, “Agree BUT marriage is about more than just sex. You shouldn’t marry ONLY for that.”

@Lundy08 said, “Disagree. though frustrated/tempted you might not be ready for marriage financially, emotionally, etc.”

@purple316 said, “He is saying that if you can’t control your sexual desires and inclinations its good to consider marriage.”

@LaTanyaMartin_ said, “I think that’s a way out of falling into the perpetual cycle of lust and desire.  But what if no one wants to marry you?! Then what?! Lol! It’s a way out, but then you have to continue taming yourself.  Paul said in one of his letters he brings his flesh into subjection. It’s possible but not our fave thing to do.”

He Couldn’t Figure Out How To Stay Married
I believe Christians take that verse out of context.  Many years ago a twice divorced Christian gentleman argued me down when I completely disagreed with him saying if you can’t control yourself sexually you should get married immediately. When I asked him how the relationship would evolve once the couple had sex, he said, they will figure it out.  I wonder if that’s why he’s twice divorced…Once he satisfied his loins, he couldn’t figure out how to stay married.

Obey God or Please Your Flesh?
To me that verse means you marry because you want to be obedient to God not merely to please your flesh.  You make finding a wife your priority because you don’t want to live a life of sexual sin.  I believe the verse is directed at pleasing God more than satisfying your flesh.  What do you believe?

Next up was Statement 4: Marrying young is the cure for sexual immorality.

@EponineAnne said I’ve never heard that before but marriage shouldn’t be a cure for anything especially sexual things.  Marriage should be sacred, not a cop-out; not a way to get out of waiting for intimacy.

While I understand the bigger meaning of that statement, I don’t like what it implies.  I wrote a post about marrying young a while back.  You can read all about it here and here and here.

Statement 5: Godly character matters more than sexual attraction.

@Lundy08 said, “Agree, sexual attraction can eventually fade away. Character is way more important.”

@EponineAnne said, “I agree b/c eternity is what matters. Sexual attraction is of this world. It matters but not as much.  Sexual attraction is good in relationships headed for marriage. God wants us to have that attraction! I believe sexual attraction is important, but my point is that it shouldn’t be an idol! That’s all.  I didn’t mean to make it sound completely unimportant. The idol statement was what I was getting at!”

@MarioHampton said, “You must have sexual attraction along with Godly character.”

@MsPoohB said, “As I’ve gotten older I would have to say Godly Character. All that other stuff fades away.”

Both Equally Important
I had to agree with Mario on this one.  All of those other answers sound nice and Holy, however, godly character and sexual attraction are both equally important in my book.  I can’t be with some Holy roller with Godly character that I’m not sexually attracted to.  Sexual attraction is where it starts but it’s not where it ends.  I need to be sexually attracted to you and you to be sexually attracted to me.  How can we have a great sex life without sexual attraction?

The last statement of the hour took us in a different direction…

Statement 6: The longer you stay single, the more selfish and self-serving you become.

@Lundy08 said, “Disagree, but it really depends on the character of the individual. Focus on the things of God while single.”

@MarioHampton said, “Older people are set in their own ways whereas younger people are able to adapt.”

@GetACommitment said, “Agree, the longer people stay single, the more selfish they become.”

@MsPoohB said, “I agree to an extent but not If you’re serving others as a single in Church, in the community etc.”

@iamkiarab said, “I agree. Being single you don’t have to share but once you’re in a relationship it will take time to break that mindset.”


Something to think about…

What say you? Is sexual frustration/temptation a great reason to marry? How do you interpret, “It’s better to marry than to burn with lust?” Is marrying young the cure for sexual immorality? Is godly character more important than sexual attraction or are they equally important? Are we more selfish the longer we remain single?

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