Alpha Males And Narcissists Propose In Six Months

by Yvonne Chase on February 28, 2022

He said, “In 2022, the man who pays for the first date, knows what he wants, and proposes in six months is the real alpha male. To him go the spoils, the women, and the happiest children. If he hasn’t proposed within six months, he is unlikely to. Move on.” Here’s my spin on it; in 2022, the man who pays for the first date, knows what he wants, and proposes in six months could be a real alpha male or a narcissist, therefore, women must be careful. All men who propose in six months do not have good intentions.

Narcissists are notorious for moving fast in relationships. A narcissist will marry quickly to prove they were not at fault in their last relationship. If they can find someone else and move on quickly, obviously, it was you and not him. When a narcissist marries, it is solely for his own gain. He speeds things along quickly because he needs to hook you before the mask falls off. Their pattern is to move on to someone new who does not know the games they play.

It’s storytime. Once upon a time, I dated a narcissist and did not know it until I ended the relationship. Remember, I was today years old when I learned about narcissism and narcissistic abuse. When I met him, I had gone no contact with my family of origin (FoO) before I knew no contact is the only way to deal with narcissists.

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In the initial stages of getting to know each other, I told him I would not be upset with him one bit if he realized he could not be with a woman who is not in a relationship with her family. My exact words to him were, if it is important to you to date and marry a woman who is in a close relationship with her family, you should find another because she is not me. I would not have been upset with him if he changed his mind along the way. I get it! My situation is not for everyone.

During our time together, he talked to me about marriage and wanted us to open a savings account for our future. I immediately said no because I do not believe in doing married things as a single woman like buying a house together, a car, cohabitating, opening a savings account, and starting a business. Anything that will tie me to a man financially will not happen until marriage.

I eventually ended the relationship because of his involvement in an organization that functions as a cult that he wanted me to join. He tried every tactic to convince me that I had the wrong idea about it and that it is a good thing, but I was not interested. Based on what I saw, it is an organization rooted in evil. I believe any person or group of people who would take advantage of you in your time of weakness and profit from it is evil! Our total time together was eleven months.

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When asked why we broke up, he lied. The story he told his family, friends, and anyone who knew us is he ended the relationship because he wanted to be with a woman who has a close relationship with her family. Not only did he use what I shared against me, but he also flipped the narrative to make it look like I was the problem. Flipping the narrative is what narcissists do. It is how they move on quickly to the next relationship and also the primary way of running a smear campaign against you.

If you are not dating a narcissist, six months could be enough time to pop the question especially if you are older. The older you are, the better you should know yourself. The better you know yourself, the better you can identify a suitable mate. If you are clear on what you are looking for, and you are living Holy with the intention of building a godly relationship, a proposal should not take long.

But here is the issue, when you fall in love with a narcissist, you are not falling in love with a real person. Instead, you are falling in love with someone wearing a mask, who will tell you all the things you want to hear and mirror back to you all your positive qualities. The person you fall in love with is not the person you end up marrying. It was only after breaking up with him that I saw the real deal. The person I saw, in the end, was awful and nothing like the person I met in the beginning. Thankfully I got away before he could sink his abusive hooks in me.

Oh, and let me warn you; beware if you meet him online as I did. He knows a lot about you before meeting you face to face because of your online profile. With that information in hand, it is easy for him to entrap you. Narcissists have an affinity for online dating because it is a perfect place to find narcissistic supply aka their next victim. Narcissists are empty shells of people lacking self-esteem and self-confidence, therefore, anything that fills the emptiness is supply. Sources of supply can be power, money, control, sex, pornography, and even drugs. The list is endless and depends on the person.

In closing, I was listening to a podcast recently where a group of Christian women echoed similar sentiments about meeting and marrying quickly. It was their story. Timelines are important when dating because who has time to waste, however, you need boatloads of discernment, and the power of the Holy Spirit to sniff out narcissists. Christian women must exercise great caution when dating because much of the advice from the church leads them directly into the arms of a narcissist.

Something to think about…

What say you? 

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Anita Ojeda March 1, 2022

Yikes! Thank you for sharing the signs of a narcissist. So many people don’t realize the dangers. Your powerful words will help them understand the ways narcissists work to entrap someone.
Anita Ojeda recently posted…Sweet, Inspirational Regency Romance New ReleasesMy Profile

Yvonne Chase March 7, 2022

@Anita,

You are right. So many people do not recognize the dangers and that is why I share my story. I was once one of those who did not know the signs of these dangerous people.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Alpha Males And Narcissists Propose In Six MonthsMy Profile

Lois Flowers March 1, 2022

Yvonne, I thought this might be your post when I saw the title at Instaencouragements. 🙂 I’m so thankful that you had the wisdom and fortitude to escape that relationship before marrying the guy … it sounds like it would have been a complete disaster of a marriage. As I think about my girls dating and evaluating guys that they might want to marry someday, this makes me even more committed to praying for them to have discernment every step of the way.
Lois Flowers recently posted…Share Four Somethings: February 2022My Profile

Yvonne Chase March 7, 2022

@Lois,

I am so thankful that I got away from him before he could sink his abusive hooks in me. You are right, it would have been a disaster of a marriage. Yes, continue to pray for your girls to have discernment because it is what got me away from him.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Alpha Males And Narcissists Propose In Six MonthsMy Profile

Donna March 1, 2022

Yvonne, it’s frightening the way a narcissist operates. I have been that victim that shared vulnerable things about myself that then were flipped on me and used against me to justify their actions. UGH. Sometimes we find out too late.
But I honestly think moving too fast in a relationship is a recipe for disaster, narcissist, alpha male or no.

Yvonne Chase March 7, 2022

@Donna,

Indeed, it is very frightening the way they operate. And I agree with you, moving too fast in a relationship is not the best idea, even with an alpha male.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Alpha Males And Narcissists Propose In Six MonthsMy Profile

Linda Stoll March 1, 2022

Yvonne, thank you for sharing your story … and the learnings you gleaned along the way. This is an important heads-up, a needed wake-up call that I hope women will heed.
Linda Stoll recently posted…Melt My HeartMy Profile

Joanne Viola March 2, 2022

Yvonne, I am so sorry for what you experienced, and grateful you share your insights so others may perhaps avoid the same situation. We have three granddaughters and this post makes me realize all the more, how much I need to pray for their dating experiences and their future spouses. Thank you!

Yvonne Chase March 7, 2022

@Joanne,

Yes, pray that your granddaughters have the gift of discernment to see through the facade of narcissists and also that their identity is not attached to a man and their relationship status. Once a narcissist traps you in marriage, it is hard to get out unscathed.

Jeanne Takenaka March 2, 2022

Yvonne, it’s alarming how narcissists can mirror what a Christian woman often seeks in a relationship. As others have said, I am so sorry you had to experience dating a narcissist, especially when you already dealt with it in your FoO. You have a lot of wisdom, which is, what it sounds like every woman dating needs. Wisdom to stand by your standards and beliefs. Wisdom to say no. Wisdom to know if you need to walk away or if he’s worth staying for.

Yvonne Chase March 7, 2022

@Jeanne,

Yes, the behavior of narcissists is very alarming. I thank God daily that I got away from him before he could sink his abusive hooks in me like he is doing with his current second wife. I plan to keep sharing so that other women especially Christian women don’t fall into their trap.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Alpha Males And Narcissists Propose In Six MonthsMy Profile

Michele Morin March 3, 2022

“Not a real person”
Yikes, that’s scary, but thanks for sharing your story as a warning to others!

Yvonne Chase March 7, 2022

@Michele,

Narcissists are not real people. It’s all bout an image and a facade supported by a foundation of lies.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Alpha Males And Narcissists Propose In Six MonthsMy Profile

Lydia C. Lee March 7, 2022

Really interesting post. I’d not thought about why they move on so quickly. #Therandom
Lydia C. Lee recently posted…How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are? Satchel PaigeMy Profile

Jerralea Winn Miller March 8, 2022

Hmmm… the description of a narcissist makes me think of a wolf in sheep’s clothing. As believers we have to beware of false teachers. Seems like we have to be careful in every area of life!
Jerralea Winn Miller recently posted…Focusing on Just the Facts, Ma’amMy Profile

Lynn March 10, 2022

Such an important subject, Yvonne! Sometimes egos can get in the way of seeing a dating partner as anything but perfect. It can be hard to accept that we made a choice to date a narcissist! I agree with you regarding the timing–discernment is required, not a hard deadline. God’s measure of time is not man’s measurement of time!

Yvonne Chase March 10, 2022

@Lynn,

I do not know anyone including myself who made a choice to date a narcissist. No one willingly makes that choice! As the post clearly states, I had no idea he was a narcissist until the relationship ended. It was my experience of narcissistic abuse in my FoO that showed me his true colors and opened me up to a world of narcissists.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Bombing You With Love Is How They Trap YouMy Profile

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