Attention Is The Name Of The Game For Narcissists

by Yvonne Chase on March 21, 2022

When I first heard the news that Jussie Smollet was beaten up because he is a black, gay, male, I did not think anything of it. I mean, I was not a fan following his career or his role on the TV show Empire. Once word got out that the entire hoax was directed, and staged by Jussie, I immediately said he is a stone-cold narcissist who did this all for attention. Turns out I was right. Jussie almost started a race war to get attention at a time when racial tension was high.

At his recent sentencing, the judge raked him over the coals calling him a narcissist who concocted the entire charade for attention. At the end of the sentencing when the judge asked if he had anything to say, Jussie jumped up and yelled, “I am not suicidal” as if he is on the level of Jeffrey Epstein who died by suicide while in prison. He left the courtroom pumping his fist in the air while repeating, “I am not suicidal!”

Instead of serving his time of 150 days in jail, Jussie was released after six days. He still proclaims his innocence even though there is a pile of evidence that says he is guilty. Jussie lied under oath and he is still lying! It seems like Jussie comes from a family of narcissists who continue to protest and perpetuate his lies. In the article Narcissism, Fame Seeking, and Mass Shootings, the writer says, “Although narcissists may have the desire to seek many types of attention, the temptation of widespread fame attracts them the most.” Jussie was definitely going after widespread fame!

Attention

Not only do narcissists stage crimes to get attention but they also ruin holidays. If you are dating or God forbid married to a narcissist, expect him or her to ruin major holidays. During my first Christmas gift exchange with the narcissist, he gave me three gifts. One of those gifts was a $300 gift card to a store that I never shopped. I wrote about it in this post at a time when I had no idea he is a narcissist. The gift I gave him blew his mind and cost less than all of his gifts to me. He was literally in tears because of the thought that went into it. I must say it was a great gift!

He ruined Christmas by telling me he would return the gift card if I did not like it. When I took him up on his offer, he accused me of being ungrateful. You see, unlike me, he did not put any thought into buying my gift and he knew it. The receipt showed he purchased it the day before Christmas from a store one block away from his home.

Because my gift was better than his (I did not know we were competing for the best gift) he had to take the attention away from me and place it back on him even if it meant ruining Christmas. Everyone talked about the gift and he did not like it. All of a sudden he is the victim and I am ungrateful. Now that I am fully aware of the behavior of narcissists, I can see how he manipulated the entire situation. We live life forward and understand it backward. P.S. narcissists are always competing with their target!

If staging crimes and ruining holidays is not enough, narcissists will ruin great relationships to get attention. It happened to me with someone in my family of origin (FoO). Our relationship was so solid that she told me if anything happened to her or her husband, she would trust me to raise her children. Yet she moved within five minutes of me and acted as if she did not know me. Mind you she was new to the city and I was living there for well over ten years. In her mind, if I was around, she would have to share the spotlight with me.

The only time she included me was to set me up and then use it against me later. Because of her antics and lies, people think I tried to ruin her marriage and break up her family. Nothing could be further from the truth. All I can do is shake my head when I think about it because their behavior is so insane! Narcissists ought to come with a warning label because they are some of the most dangerous people on the planet. They love attention and will get it at any cost even if it means ruining their life and trying to ruin yours.

Something to think about…

What say you? Did you follow the Jussie Smollet case? What do you think about attention seeking at any cost? 

Here are 2 things I would like you to do now:

1. Leave a comment below

2. Share this post if you like it

Barb Hegreberg March 23, 2022

Living in Chicago, this case was on the news A LOT. From the minute the crine was planned it has been mishandled. Frankly, I’m sick & tired of hearing about it. I wish Smollett would serve his time and never be in the news again.

The sins of pride & selfishness are wrapped up into attention seeking.

Yvonne Chase March 23, 2022

@Barb,

I agree with you. He should serve his time and never be in the news again but unfortunately, he still is in the news thanks to his narcissistic family who continues to push the narrative that he is innocent. Pride and selfishness on full display!
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Joanne Viola March 23, 2022

Yvonne, I admit I followed the J. Smollett story to a point, and then was turned off by it all. May God give us wisdom in the news we follow, and in the relationships we form.

Yvonne Chase March 23, 2022

@Joanne,

I didn’t follow the case but I couldn’t help hearing about it because of its magnitude. It was only by accident while watching a video on YouTube that it popped up. I only watched thirty minutes of the sentencing hearing and that was more than enough. I’m glad the world got to see the ways of a narcissist on full display. We need to be aware of these predators and their destructive behaviors.
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Jennifer Neewer March 23, 2022

Unbelievable that he’s still living the lie now that he’s out of jail. The best thing he could do is be quiet and move to a land far away. So much money spent and wasted on him.

The behavior of your ex and the woman mentioned tracks with the obsessive attention seeking of narcissists. Jussie is proof that there is no limit to what they will do to get it. Sad! Glad you’ve moved on and now sharing your story.

Linda Stoll March 26, 2022

Yvonne, hi! Sadly, narcissists are alive and well. I’m not sure if it’s because of social media or mental illness or allowing them to repeatedly claim center stage. Or all the above.

They’re as subtle as a sledgehammer. They need healing.

I appreciate the subjects you put on the table, friend …
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Yvonne Chase March 31, 2022

@Linda,

Social media is definitely a contributing factor and of course mental illness. Something is not right with a person who will go to such great lengths to seek attention. They desperately need healing but unfortunately, they will never get it because they don’t see anything wrong with their behavior. Furthermore, like Jussie, they lie to themselves on every day of the week that ends in Y.
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Theresa Boedeker March 28, 2022

Yvonne, I love the idea that narcissists come with a warning label. Then we would know what we would be getting into and could run. Because yes, it is always about them. And they are competing, which means you better be prepared to lose.
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Yvonne Chase March 31, 2022

@Theresa,

They are so dangerous that a warning label is mandatory. The only solution is to run and never ever go back. I kept going back because did not know I was dealing with narcissists, but now that I do, there is absolutely no turning back. I thank God every single day that I had the information I needed to walk away.
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Jeremy-Thirstydaddy March 30, 2022

These kinds of people are so exhausting to be around. They just slowly suck all the joy out of life
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Debbie Wilson March 30, 2022

Yvonne, I’m reminded of Jesus’ words, “You’ll know them by their fruit.” You perfectly illustrated that.

Yvonne Chase March 31, 2022

@Debbie,

Fruit reveals the truth!
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Bev and Dave Rihtarchik March 31, 2022

Yvonne,
Unless you’ve had the up-close-and-personal experience of living with a narcissist, you have no idea what they are capable of doing. I’ve been reading about a pyschological disorder called Borderline Personality Disorder — so many of the traits of this disorder line up with the behavior of the narcissist (blame others, they are the victim, constantly drawing attention to self, inability to maintain longlasting or close relationships, inability to empathize, etc). It still does not excuse the inappropriate behavior that can be so hurtful.
Blessings,
Bev xx
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