Bill Cosby, Andrea Constand And A Couple Of Rules For Living

by Yvonne Chase on June 4, 2018

Bringing Down Bill Cosby

Harvey Weinstein

Russell Simmons

Vince Cirrincione

Morgan Freeman

Bill Cosby

#MeToo Movement
That is just a short list of men whose lives have been exposed during the Hollywood shakedown that created the #MeToo movement. On Friday night, I watched an interview with Andrea Constand, the woman who brought down Bill Cosby. That was the actual name of the interview: Bringing Down Bill Cosby. Did you watch?

Innocent Girl
When I saw preview clips and heard the content, I Googled Andrea because I needed to learn her age. You see, I thought she had to be an innocent 6 or 12-year-old girl at the time of her unfortunate interaction with Bill Cosby. No, she’s a 45-year-old woman today which makes her 29-30 depending on her birthday month when it happened in 2014. Andrea, a former basketball player met Bill at Temple University.

Let It Slide
After getting to know him and developing a friendship, he invited her to his home for dinner. It was at that dinner that he touched her thigh. She thought it was friendly and let it slide. During the second visit for dinner, she says he made a bold pass at her and reached for her pant zipper. She stopped him and said no, I don’t want that, I’m not here for that then left shortly after.

They’re Your Friends
And now we’re at the third visit for dinner where he offered her three blue pills. When she inquired about them, he told her to take them; they’re your friends. She took the pills and it was all downhill from there. I’ll stop with her story and tell you a bit of mine.

Bill
Set Up A Meeting
One of the men listed up top approached me at an awards show. You’re beautiful, he said, stunning. I’d love to work with you. Are you an actress? Give me a call at my office and let’s set up a meeting.

Tried To Touch Me
At the meeting, he was very flirtatious and complimentary in a way that was unprofessional. I was there to talk business, he wanted to talk about my looks, my body, my skin tone and he even tried to touch me. He was gross!

In A Relaxed Setting
He said he had to cut the meeting short and asked me to meet him later for dinner; 10 p.m to be exact. Said he wanted us to talk more in a relaxed setting. Guess who didn’t show up for that meeting? Me! 10 p.m + a relaxed setting over dinner and drinks spells trouble. No thanks!

Chatted Me Up
On another occasion, I was at a bank in Beverly Hills when I met a powerful executive who is not on the list up top. He chatted me up, gave me his card and invited me to lunch. Over the course of my time knowing him through work events, he offered to put me up in one of his many mansions in Beverly Hills, buy me any car I wanted and give me a weekly allowance plus we’d get together on weekends for dinners etc.

Walked Away
While I could’ve easily been a victim of sexual assault in those instances and others, I never was because I always walked away and never looked back. I don’t care who you are nor do I care about your position or power.

Respect For Women
As I watched the interview, I couldn’t understand why she went back a third time. She sat across from the reporter like an innocent woman who didn’t have a clue. Furthermore, Bill Cosby is a married man. If he didn’t care about his wife, which he clearly didn’t, she needed to care about it out of respect for women.

Turned Him Down
The Executive who offered to fund a very lavish lifestyle for me is also a married man. He was shocked when I turned him down. Women don’t say no to him. I’ve hung out with women who would’ve said yes immediately and that’s why the men on that list and others do what they do. For every woman who says no, there’s five anxiously waiting in line to say yes without hesitation. Wherever there’s a powerful man/men, you are guaranteed to find an opportunist.

The Whole Truth
Women come to Hollywood day after day or hang out in circles with powerful men outside of Hollywood with the hopes of meeting a man like him or any of the men on the list. So, while I support the #MeToo movement, every woman who raises her hand and says #MeToo is not telling the whole truth.

Bill
What Happened Next
A former girlfriend took me with her to the home of one of the men up top. They were “friends.” I put that in quotes because when a man is attracted to a woman, he’s not trying to be just a friend. Anywhoo, when we arrived, there was a spread of Chinese food. We helped ourselves and got comfortable in his sprawling living room. Not before long I saw him snatch her in the back. I’m sure you can figure out what happened next. 

We All Know Bill Cosby
I was mortified yet she kept going back to him because of who he is and what that could mean for her career and her life. I don’t believe Andrea would’ve gone back to Tom Smith nor would my friend. You don’t who Tom Smith is and neither do I, however, we all know Bill Cosby and that’s the point.

Do Better
Again, I am not condoning the actions of Bill Cosby; he’s 100% wrong, however, what I am saying is women have to do better. When a man reaches for your zipper, he’s crossed the line. You know it, he knows it and you know exactly what he wants. Why would you go back?

Draw A Line In The Sand
Ladies, we need to have a few rules for living that are not negotiable. One of those rules needs to be, hands off married men. I believe every woman knows when a man is flirting with her and behaving inappropriately. When that happens, it’s time to immediately remove yourself from the situation. A married man could never have an affair or treat you inappropriately if you draw a line in the sand and say a hard “NO.” It’s really that simple!

Shaking My Head
Here’s another rule; don’t take pills from grown men or anyone for that matter. I mean who does that? I’m still shaking my head on that part. And if he offers you a drink, say no. When I went to that Executive’s office, he offered me a drink. I said a hard NO. We’re supposed to be discussing business. Alcohol impairs our cognitive skills. I wouldn’t even accept a glass of water from him for fear that he slipped something in it. 

Creepy Stories
I could say a whole lot more, and share more creepy stories, however, I will stop here and close with this quote by the late Dr.Maya Angelou, “When people show you who they are, believe them; the first time. Bill Cosby showed her exactly who he is and what he wanted the first time. She chose not to believe him! 

Something to think about…

What say you? Did you watch the interview? Have you been following the saga/case? What are your thoughts on all of this? 

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

1. Leave a comment below

2. Share this post if you like it

P. S. Bill Cosby was convicted on 3 counts of sexual assault and is facing 30 years in prison. He’s currently under house arrest and is now a registered sex offender. 

{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

Laurie June 5, 2018

You make a good point – there are 2 sides to every story, and we all need to bear responsibility for our own actions. I have not been following the case very closely, but I know that Mr. Cosby has a lot of accusers spanning years of alleged sexual abuses – not just this one. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and stories. Very powerful stuff!
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Yvonne Chase June 5, 2018

@Laurie,

You’re absolutely right; he does have a lot of other accusers, however, it was Andrea’s testimony, her story that was responsible for his conviction hence why she’s called the woman who brought down Bill Cosby.

And yes, we must bear responsibility for our actions.
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Michele Morin June 5, 2018

This whole story makes me sad, and it’s tragic that Cosby and others have gotten away with using their influence to take advantage of women. I honor you for making good decisions and for the courage you’ve had in choosing to stay true to your convictions.
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Yvonne Chase June 5, 2018

@Michele,

Powerful men like Bill Cosby have always used their influence to take advantage of women. With that said, women must do better. We must make better choices for ourselves. We know what it is.

It’s why Donald Trump said, “And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab em by the pu**y. You can do anything.”

As crass as that sounds, he’s 100% correct. I’ve seen it with my own two eyes and have been mortified. I’ve seen women let a man grab her, disrespect her and mistreat her just because he’s a star!

How do you allow that kind of disgusting behavior then cry #MeToo?
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Tracy Albiero June 5, 2018

Probably one of the best posts on this subject! I can not tell you how much I want to shout….don’t put yourself in this situation!!! Taking pills from a man who has hit on you before. DUH!!! No girl deserves this but we can be smart about our actions leading up to it. When I was in college so many girls would get tanked to the point of passing out. They have no control. They are putting themselves in harms way. I just shake my head. Instead of the #metoo movement how about the #smartchoices movement! #trekkingthru
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Yvonne Chase June 5, 2018

@Tracy,

I struggled with this post. There was no struggle to write it, the truth has no struggle, however, the struggle came when it was time to hit Publish.

To be very honest with you, I almost left it in Drafts because of a heated exchange on Twitter amongst women who refused to see my point.

No way would I ever defend Bill Cosby but guess what, this unfortunate circumstance could’ve been avoided if Andrea did not continue to put herself in harm’s way.

She should’ve never gone back to his house after he tried to undo her zipper. Like you said, instead of the #MeToo movement, how about the #SmartChoices movement! How about we not put ourselves in harm’s way?

I can’t begin to tell you how many times I gladly removed myself from harm’s way and never looked back. Like I said in the post, I don’t care who you are and I care nothing about your position or power.

You do not ever get to disrespect me or mistreat me. That is and always will be my bottom line; period, case closed, end of story and never up for discussion. More women need to draw a hard line in the sand!
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Jill June 5, 2018

#thesmartchoices movement sounds like a winner… I’m very sad about what is happening on the college campus, but I understand that these are very young women who are just getting their first tastes of freedom… I do not understand it when it involves grown women, making horrible choices for money+career+fame… that makes no sense. I’m also not excusing the men who are sick, but it seems that lately, we are wrong when we use our common sense and question the “victims.” thank you for this post

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Yvonne Chase June 5, 2018

@Jill,

And that is why I struggled to hit Publish. I was scolded as wrong when I used common sense to question Andrea’s choices.

You’re right, what’s happening on college campuses with young women who are getting their first taste of freedom is sad, however, when it comes to an almost 30-year-old woman, I do not understand at all.

By that age, and even before that age, the cognitive part of our brain is locked in and working. That is the part of our brain responsible for reasoning, thinking, paying attention etc.
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Debbie Putman June 5, 2018

I’m glad you hit publish, Yvonne. Your points are well-said and while Mr. Cosby was 100% wrong, women need to do better. We don’t have to be victims.

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Yvonne Chase June 5, 2018

@Debbie,

Thank you. And you are so right; we don’t have to be victims.
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KellyRBaker June 6, 2018

Truth! I said the same thing when I heard how she kept going back. She didn’t make wise choices. I commend you for walking away from those men and saying no. You’re right; women need to do better. My mom always taught us to never be alone with the opposite sex when we were kids/teens. Listening to that probably saved me from a lot of trouble.
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Yvonne Chase June 6, 2018

@Kelly.

The keyword here is wisdom. She did not make wise choices. I’d really like to know why she kept going back?

As I said in the post, she wouldn’t have gone back to Tom Smith because no one knows him, however, we all know Bill Cosby; a powerful man with money and access.
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Lauren Sparks June 7, 2018

Interesting and brave perspective! laurensparks.net

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Sheila Qualls June 7, 2018

I didn’t see the interview, but the clues were there. Bill Cosby was wrong, but I don’t know if I would consider her a victim in the true sense of the word—she had no control over what happened to her. She made choices. She did not like the outcome. If that man was her next door neighbor and not Bill Cosby, would she have gone back a third time?

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Yvonne Chase June 7, 2018

@Sheila,

I don’t consider her a victim at all. Like you said, the clues were there. If a man tugs at my zipper and tries to get in my pants, there is no way he would you ever see me again especially not in his home. She gets a hard side eye from me.
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Tai East June 7, 2018

Yvonne, this is SO good! And by far, the best article that I’ve read on the subject at hand. Very, very well written! My hat’s off to you for sharing truth with such boldness, intelligence, and integrity. Thank you so much! Blessings! 🙂

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Lee MacArthur June 7, 2018

You made some valid points especially when talking about going back after inappropriate overtures were made. Its like those horror films when they know a killer is in a house and they go in anyway, then wonder why everyone is getting killed. You so so right that one should just say no and walk away. Good job.
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Yvonne Chase June 8, 2018

@Lee,

All I want to know is why she kept going back after inappropriate overtures were made. That will never make sense to me especially at her age.
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Barbara Radisavljevic June 8, 2018

It broke my heart when I learned what Bill Cosby had done. He had made me laugh so many times when I was a new teacher. A student had loaned me his records. I didn’t have a TV back then and had never heard of him. Later, as a bookseller, I knew he had written books for beginning readers. He had the talent and opportunity to make a positive difference in the lives of others as an educator. What a shame he misused his fame to take advantage of women.

That being said, I agree with you that some of those women weren’t being very wise. Andrea was old enough to know what was on his mind and still kept going back. I did not see the interview because I still don’t spend much time watching TV. But it appears that too many women thought they could keep playing with what they probably knew was fire and not get burned. Thanks for presenting this side of the story.
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Yvonne Chase June 8, 2018

@Barbara

It’s a complete shame that he will go down as a man who used his fame to take advantage of women. His behavior is sick and sad on so many levels. Giving women pills is unacceptable, however, he didn’t put a gun to Andreas’ head to take them. She was unwise to go back to his home a third time.
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Jessica @ Overwhelmed to Fulfilled June 11, 2018

Your words of wisdom and boldness on this subject is spot on. We have to take responsibility for our choices and the situations we go in to. That’s not to ever say that it makes the offender any less wrong – they are 100% wrong, but we should have those hard lines like you mentioned and keep ourselves out of those situations if we can. We have sense and reason for a purpose.
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Yvonne Chase June 11, 2018

@Jessica,

Exactly, we have sense and reason for a purpose. If I could ask her one question and demand a sensible answer it would be why on earth did you go back after he tried to get in your pants? I need answers!
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Kathleen - Bloggers Lifestyle June 11, 2018

So much wisdom and insight, Yvonne. I hope women reading this will wake up and be alert and apply some smarts. We will feature your brave post on the next Blogger’s Pit Stop to encourage others to show strength in dodgy situations.

Kathleen
Blogger’s Pit Stop

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Tina at Mommynificent June 13, 2018

Thank you so much for sharing this! It absolutely needs to be said! #smartchoices!!! Thanks for linking up at Booknificent Thursday on Mommynificent.com!
Tina
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Mary June 14, 2018

Very well said Yvonne, common sense above all else. I’m glad you hit the publish button.
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Evie September 25, 2018

you made some valuable points. Which still has me in my mixed feelings.

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