Boris Kodjoe Says, “Keep It Sexy In Marriage Or Else”

by Yvonne Chase on September 13, 2013

Deal Breakers in Marriage
Earlier today I read a stat that said, “There are 1.2 million divorces in the United States every year.”  Yiiikes! Later, I ran across an interview with Boris Kodjoe and Derek Luke, actors in the soon to be released movie Baggage Claim talking about deal breakers in marriage.  When asked how they would respond if their wife gained an excessive amount of weight, their answers were very different.  Here’s what they had to say about gaining weight in marriage:

Derek Luke: “You should effort to keep it sexy.  If you miss the effort to keep it sexy, there should be something stronger than your effort to keep it sexy.  It should be the commitment.  That’s why marriages are failing in America and across the world, because there’s no commitment.  Because commitment is the key to success.  You can go up and down.  It’s about where you land.  It’s about your commitment.  Cause sickness, weight, that’s in your confessions when you get married.”

Boris Kodjoe: “O.K. Part of the deal is you got to keep it sexy.  Its easy getting married, but it’s not as easy to stay married.  And part of that is, like I make my wife, my girlfriend.  She’s my girlfriend.  So, we got to keep it sexy.  What if I gained 200 pounds? And then she’ll look at me like really? And I couldn’t even blame her if she started looking around.  Because I took her off the market, so I have to deliver, what the market could possibly deliver for her.  I’m the market now, so I got to keep it sexy.”


Exercising And Eating Right
I’m looking at Boris real crazy right now after that answer.  I’d never want to be married to a man who thinks like him.  There is no guarantee I will always look the way I look now no matter how much exercising and eating right I do and I do a lot of both.  Like Boris, for me, working out and eating right are a lifestyle however, there may come a time when I’m not as motivated to do either.  Then what? Life might get in the way.  I may not have the time or be able to make the time.  God forbid I got sick.  A man who thinks like Boris may understand and tolerate me yet never be fully satisfied and happy with the new me and our new reality.

Commitment Ought To Take Over
Keeping it sexy is important…I get it…however, like Derek said, commitment ought to take over that effort when its missed.  The flip side of that is  some people get married then get lazy and have the attitude of, “Deal with it! We’re married! You said you would take me at my best or my worse.”  That sort of thinking is not cool on any day of the week that ends in “Y.”  If you have the will and the way, I believe you should want to keep it sexy for you, your spouse and your marriage.  Later in the interview, Boris tried to redeem himself by mentioning his commitment to keeping it sexy for his wife.  Press play below to watch the full interview…

Something to think about…

What say you…what would you do if your spouse gained an excessive amount of weight? Is that a deal breaker? How important is it to keep it sexy in marriage? Is it your responsibility to keep it sexy? 

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

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catherine gacad September 14, 2013

OMG, i was just having a conversation with my friend the other day about women who suddenly balloon post-marriage, post-children. i think it’s awful not because i feel bad for their spouse, but i feel bad for THEM. it’s about self-respect. just because you’re married doesn’t mean you should suddenly lose your self-respect about feeling and looking good.

Yvonne Chase September 14, 2013

Cathy, I see the same and it disturbs me. Why would you let yourself go like that? Some women do take on the attitude of deal with it. We’re married now. I think that’s stinking thinking. I do think Boris needs to balance his thoughts. Something about them seem shallow. Is he going to divorce his wife if she doesn’t keep it sexy?

Gracielle September 14, 2013

This is great advice and I agree – gotta take care of yourself and keep it sexy for a successful marraige! It would be unfair to my husband if I gained 200lbs – I wouldn’t be the same chic he married 4 years ago.

Yvonne Chase September 14, 2013


Does the same apply to him? Even if you didn’t gain 200lbs, you still won’t be the same chic he married four years ago and if he expects you to be, something is very wrong with that don’t you think?

diann September 14, 2013

But what if he gains? it’s really not about the weight gain – life happens and sexy gets redefined as you get older. At some point you realize what’s important and that’s having each other.

Yvonne Chase September 14, 2013


You ask a great question that I addressed in this video. This conversation seems to be lopsided. Its always about the woman keeping it sexy. I agree, its not about keeping it sexy. Sexy changes as we get older. And you’re right…life happens…

That’s why I wouldn’t want to be married to a man who thinks like Boris. Something about his thought process says he doesn’t realize what’s important.

Zainab @ Blahnik Baker September 15, 2013

This is a very interesting topic especially that it could sometimes be expected of the wife to be the one who keeps the sexy. But I do agree that after getting married both partners need to maintain an active and healthy lifestyle to take care of their bodies.

Yvonne Chase September 15, 2013

@Zainab….this conversation does tend to be lopsided and I get it…men are visual. The bigger picture though is, life happens and sexy takes on a new meaning as we get older. I wonder what Boris will do God forbid he is no longer able to keep it sexy for Nicole?

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