There’s A HUGE Difference Between A Broke Guy And A Bum

by Yvonne Chase on February 19, 2015

Standing At A Bus Stop
Earlier today while doing my daily web crawl, I ran across a story about Tia Mowry Hardrict and her husband Cory Hardrict.  The story asks, “Would you date a broke guy?” When Tia met Cory, he was standing at a bus stop when she and her sister drove by an offered him a ride.  Here’s the story in his own words:

I had odd jobs. I worked at K-Mart, graveyard shift, security.  That’s when I was just grinding man. I met my wife during them days. She was with me. She was just coming out of “Sister, Sister,” but they had everything man and I didn’t have anything. I had a studio apartment, sleeping in the corner, no furniture for almost two years. I was waiting on a bus stop—after I shot my first film. Her sister and her drove by, they saw me waiting and asked to give me a ride. I was embarrassed. I was downtown. They gave me a ride and we were friends ever since. They took me to Inglewood, so that’s how that relationship started. We were friends, we started dating and it just went from there.  I think it was what my wife saw in me. She saw an honest man who had a dream. I just had a vision, man. I didn’t come in selling no games. I feel like a man can just hold his own and be a man. I don’t have to play no games with nobody and she respected that and it was what it was.

broke

Working Towards Something
Based on my full understanding of the story, Tia and Tamera didn’t pick up a random stranger.  They were all working on the same movie set when they saw him at the bus stop and offered him a ride. Now to the question at hand, could you date a broke guy? As the title of this post says, there’s a huge difference between a broke guy and a bum. Cory wasn’t a bum. Although he had “nothing” when Tia met him, he was working towards something.  He had odd jobs but he had jobs.  He was working and making an honest living.  He wasn’t sitting at home on the couch scratching and eating cereal while waiting for a hand out.  He was pursuing his dream in whatever way he could and he still is.  His latest role is in the movie American Sniper. Tia saw enough in him to build a friendship that eventually led to a relationship.  Today, they’ve been married 15 years and are raising their son Cree.

broke

Fulfill His Potential
Does it work this way for everyone? No! The main ingredients need to be there to make this work.  He has to be working towards his goals.  He has to be proactive in his life.  He has to have the right mentality and not be a victim. The content of his character needs to be evident. Cory had vision.  He had a dream.  He went after it and never stopped.  He worked other jobs in the meantime until he was able to make a living as an actor. Some women marry potential and that’s all they end up with…potential.  The good for nothing bum never gets up off his butt to realize his potential.  I doubt Tia would’ve dated him if she realized he was a good for nothing bum.  Would you?

Something to think about…

What say you? Could you date a broke guy? Could you date a guy who hadn’t fully realized his potential?

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{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }

AwesomelyOZ February 19, 2015

That’s a wonderful story, I never knew that. You’re definitely right there’s a big difference between broke and a bum; I’m broke but I’m not a bum Lol. You’re right that all the ingredients have to be there but he has to be proactive and working towards something already; not waiting for x-factor. How beautiful, 15 years! Have a great one Yvonne! -Iva
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Yvonne Chase February 21, 2015

@Iva,

I’ve never met you in person yet I know you’re not a bum. We’re all proactive and working towards our goals. He better be doing the same otherwise we have nothing to talk about.
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Mrs. AOK February 21, 2015

I think it’s wonderful that Tia could see his heart & his potential. I know it doesn’t always work-out but I think if you consider the “person”: are they loyal, do they have drive, where is their heart, then yes they are date-able or even marriage material.
I married a broke man. He always asks me if I was crazy, when talk about before we were married, jokingly of course. I wasn’t crazy, I saw HIM. I knew who he was, I saw how hard he worked at trying to do better. And I said YES. The rest is history 🙂
XOXO
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Yvonne Chase February 21, 2015

@Mrs AOK,

Sometimes the exterior is great and the heart is a mess. We have to look at the heart of a person to really know that person. Glad it worked out for you.
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Lynne Streeter Childress February 21, 2015

This is great. I am married now, but I think that I could have dated a broke guy if I knew he had ambition. I had money issues myself when I met my husband but he stuck with me.
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Yvonne Chase February 21, 2015

@Lynne,

He’s gotta have ambition. He can’t just be broke and complaining about it.
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Wilma Jones February 21, 2015

I married a broke man. We built a wonderful life, then it all fell apart. I would rather have loved, built a life, made two awesome kids and have it fall apart than to wonder what would have happened. I’m one of those “oh well, I tried,” rather than get 80 years old and wonder, “what if I had tried” kind of people.
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Yvonne Chase February 21, 2015

@Wilma,

You are my kind of people. I’d rather live a life of “Oh well, I tried” than “what if I’d tried.” There’s really no other way to live. I’m sure that season of your life has made you a better woman in every way. Kudos to you!
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Keisha | The Girl Next Door is Black February 21, 2015

I heard about that story this week. I had no idea that’s how they met. It makes for a great story.

I agree with what the women on “The Real” said. In my 20s dating a guy with potential was more feasible than it is for me now in my 30s. Potential isn’t enough now, you need ambition – as in actively working toward that potential, not just talking about it.
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Yvonne Chase February 21, 2015

@Keisha,

Whether in your 20’s, 30’s or beyond, potential is never enough. You gotta be about something. Aintnobodygottime for potential!
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BritishMumUSA February 21, 2015

Absolutely. I married my husband right out of college, we had nothing. We have built a life together. I saw in him what he saw in me. The determination to work hard for what we have. I would never give a slacker the time of day, but someone who is willing to work hard, every single time 🙂
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Yvonne Chase February 21, 2015

@BritishMumUSA,

Amen to your entire comment. I love to hear of couples who started with nothing and built a great life together. That’s wonderful!
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Jenny @ Unremarkable Files February 21, 2015

Aww, what a sweet story! Makes me want to go rewatch some Sister, Sister. (I’ve been hearing the theme song in my head since the beginning of the post!)

Stopping by from the Sitsgirls sharefest.
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