I Was Called To Marry HIM

by Yvonne Chase on July 23, 2018

Called To Marriage
How did you know God called you to be married? How does one know if they are called to marriage, aside from a desire to have children and raise a family? Those questions came to mind after reading a comment on my previous post, God Has A Chosen Person For You To Marry. The reader said:

“I do believe that God has a chosen person for each of us if He calls us to be married. Where we go wrong is that we don’t listen, follow, and obey. Many marriages don’t start off on a strong biblical foundation or even understand the purpose of marriage. Let alone what love actually means. They step into a relationship and then marriage based off of “love” with selfish intent – “they make me feel xyz” and believe it to be real and therefore “it must be from God”. While God can use all situations that doesn’t mean they were from Him.”

Beyond That Desire
Many people believe they are called to marriage because of a strong desire to have children and raise a family and I completely get that, however, I wanted to know about the call beyond that desire. I know four couples who knew they didn’t want to have children yet felt a strong call to be married. I was curious to know what others thought so I threw my questions out to a group of married women: 

Deb says, “Marriage and family were always something I’d hoped for. Although, I vowed at a pretty young age that I’d never marry a minister. God must have smiled because He brought this pre-min student into my life and I knew immediately that He was the one with whom I wanted to do life. We’ve been married 46 years and he’s still my best friend and the one with whom I want to do life!

I don’t know if I think of it as a call to be married. I knew when I was dating that I was not going to compromise for the sake of marriage. Rev and I are different in ways that complement each other. We learned early in our dating that we are just better together. And we believe that prayer and laughter can get you through more than you’d imagine!”

Determines Our Steps
Don’t we just love God’s sense of humor! Here it is Deb vowed not to marry a minister yet a minister is who God had in mind. Reminds me of the verse in Proverbs 16:9 that says, “We make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” Here’s more:

Alyssa says, “I love this question! I never felt the call to marriage. For all of my relationships until my husband, the prospect of sharing my life FOREVER with each one of them seemed like something I didn’t want to do. Then when my husband and I first started dating, God started shaping my dreams of the future to include him! That was probably my biggest indicator.

There were about a million different signs that marrying him was going to be the good, right, wise choice for me – I know it sounds cheesy, but it was like the stars aligned, everything pointed to me marrying him.

I will end with this: I can only speak for myself, but I have an inkling a lot of people would fall on the same side as me – I don’t believe I was just called to marriage, I believe I was called to marrying HIM. That is an integral part to my calling and I believe to a lot of people’s calling.”

Direct Our Paths
Doesn’t sound cheesy at all. If we are earnestly seeking the will of God, He will direct our paths. Here’s one final thought from Hallie:

“I only knew because God placed a man in my life that I realized I could serve Him better with than I could without. I’m still learning what that is supposed to look like (been married four and a half years) but it’s exciting to watch God work in us and on us together.”

God Is Writing My Love Story
All of this got me wondering if I’m called to marriage. While I’d like to be married and I know I will make an excellent helpmeet, it’s got to be something amazing and extraordinary, otherwise, I’m fine being single. Around 10:30 pm last night while putting the finishing touches on this post, I picked up my phone to look at Instagram because I hadn’t been on all day. Below is the first thing I saw. I’ll take it as confirmation while I continue to trust God as he writes my love story. He can certainly write it better than I ever could. 

called
Something to think about…

What say you? How did you know you were called to marriage? Is there such a thing as being called to marriage? How can a single person know if they are called to marriage?

Here are 2 things I’d like you to do now:

1. Leave a comment below

2. Share this post if you like it

{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }

Ann Miesner July 23, 2018

I knew I was called to marriage in how circumstances lined up. My husband’s sister introduced him to me in a letter. He introduced himself to me in a letter three weeks before he left for Vietnam. We spent one week together before he left and wrote the next year. The Lord made it clear to him that I would be his wife before he left: another God thing.

We knew the Lord brought us together; however, not having much face-to-face communication before marriage hampered our relationship. Our iron sharpening iron marriage has taught us: We Are Called to Marry Him; that our Maker is our Husband; no human being can meet the needs of another; no human being can make us happy; Love is a Choice; Happiness is a Choice.

Therefore, I don’t know really if someone can know they are ‘called’ to marriage, but I do know that God instituted marriage as a hands-on demonstration of what our relationship should be with Him, and that’s why Satan fights it so hard.

I believe there are three harbor lights that can show the way to making the right decision–in sequence: 1) God’s Word at 80%, 2) Godly counselors at 10%, and according to what those say, 3) Circumstances at 10%. If circumstances don’t ever line up, then the thing to do is wait.

Your on-line communication seems so timely, a Godly counselor. I believe your love story will be awesome and you and your future husband will be ready to serve God together (better together), spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. Praise God and thank you for your commitment to posting about marriage.
Ann Miesner recently posted…How God Found Me: A story of Hope, Redemption and MiraclesMy Profile

Reply

Yvonne Chase July 24, 2018

@Ann,

When I think about being married, this is the one thing at the top of my mind that I look forward to; serving God together with my husband. I believe we will be better together; spiritually, mentally and emotionally.

This so important to remember: No human being can meet the needs of another. No human being can ever make us happy. If more couples remembered these two important truths, our romantic relationships would look a whole lot different.

I love your three harbor lights. Thanks for laying it out so clearly.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…God Has A Chosen Person For You To MarryMy Profile

Reply

Bethany July 24, 2018

What Alyssa said- so good! I wasn’t looking for a relationship and didn’t hope for marriage like most of my friends. But when I met my guy, I knew God had just given me a gift and He is a gift I love and cherish and count a blessing to serve the Lord beside!

Reply

Yvonne Chase July 24, 2018

@Bethany,

What Alyssa said really is so good!

I believe that’s the way God reveals his choice for whom we should marry. He starts shaping our dreams of the future to include the person he allowed to cross our path. Like she said, it’s as if the stars align.

Blessings to you and your gift from God.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Singleness Is Hard, Often Lonely, And UnwantedMy Profile

Reply

Lisa notes July 24, 2018

I was speaking with a single friend just this past weekend and said similar things to her as you are saying: it’s better to be single than with the wrong person. I’m glad you’re not settling for less than amazing!
Lisa notes recently posted…Do You Have to Know?My Profile

Reply

Yvonne Chase July 24, 2018

@Lisa,

I have no plans on settling for something less than amazing. Deb and I had a conversation about this on Friday and I said to her, unlike many women, I have not been dreaming of my wedding day since I was 5. My brain wasn’t even functioning well when I was five.

Yes, marriage is something I would like, however, it has to be right. What we see of marriage today is not the best representation of what I believe God had in mind. It’s a good thing yet it’s shown as a bad thing that limits your life.

Nothing could be further from the truth but for many, it is because some settle, others do it for all the wrong reasons and so on and so on. I don’t want to be a part of that number so I will continue to wait on God and trust him as he continues to write my love story.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…I’m Scared To Marry The Wrong Person And Live In HellMy Profile

Reply

Deb Wolf July 24, 2018

Yvonne, I love that beautiful encouragement you received last night! Waiting on God’s best! Yes, I love that! It applies to so much of life, doesn’t it?
Deb Wolf recently posted…Verses that will Help When You Need to Know God’s WillMy Profile

Reply

Sherry Stahl July 27, 2018

Yvonne, what a powerful confirmation from the Lord for you! God is so good to meet us right at our heart need and, I can see your heart is to love the Lord. That’s a great heart <3
I am remarried and thought I would never get married again. One day I went on Facebook and saw a friend request from a guy I knew, mostly through our kids. It was the weirdest (and now I know best) thing that happened. I felt the Lord speak to me that He had things for us to do together. I knew God meant marriage and ministry. I was not ready to hear it at the time. Months later, God connected us and we fell in love so quickly because we both felt God telling us that we were to get married. My hubby even had a dream, before we even held hands 🙂 It's been a wonderful, exciting adventure being married to Todd. I've learned what true love is in a godly marriage. I published my first book in 2012 and Todd did illustrations for it. Both our names were on the cover! Since then we've both gone on to publish another book each on our own. I do believe God has more books for us to publish together! So, that's a little part of our amazing love story <3

Reply

Yvonne Chase July 27, 2018

@Sheryl,

I love your love story. Blessings to you and Todd. Sounds like a perfect pairing. God sent you someone with the gift of Illustration to add to your gift of writing. What a blessing. Wishing you many more years of a great marriage and ministry.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Singleness Is Hard, Often Lonely, And UnwantedMy Profile

Reply

Katherine Catcher July 27, 2018

I remember when I was young and as a new Christian people kept telling me God wanted me to be married and He would give me a husband and family. However, I am now over 5o and when in my 30’s God told me I would not get married. You see so many in the church think the highest calling on a woman’s life is to get married Some even said not to go on the mission field without a husband, but my Lord said to me, “will you give up having your own family to save even one child?” I knew then I had to say yes because my deepest love is for Jesus and His best for me is what has kept me single.

Reply

Yvonne Chase July 30, 2018

@Katherine,

Blessings to you for hearing God’s voice and obeying his call for your life.

You are so right, many in the church think the highest calling on a woman’s life is to get married. That’s a problem. The church ought to know better.

The highest calling on a woman’s life is to obey God and serve God in whatever way he calls her to. No wonder the world has it wrong. We, the church, have it all wrong.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Bad Mouthing An Ex Can Make It Difficult To Start AnewMy Profile

Reply

Laurie July 27, 2018

Fortunately, you know your own heart. You should not settle for anything less than a wonderful, amazing man. When you meet him, you will know!
Laurie recently posted…Runfessions – July EditionMy Profile

Reply

Roseann Hampton July 27, 2018

After my first marriage ended in divorce I was certain I never wanted to be married again. But here I am, 14 years into my wonderful second marriage – God obviously knew better than me! Thanks for sharing at The Blogger’s Pit Stop! Roseann from This Autoimmune Life

Reply

Yvonne Chase July 30, 2018

@Roseann,

Like Deb, you saw your life going one way yet God had the final say with a second marriage. Blessings to you.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…Unmarried Men Are Wimping Out By Being Commitment-PhobesMy Profile

Reply

Donna Reidland July 27, 2018

So many great comments! I always love to come here and read about your commitment to wait on God’s timing and do things His way! I wish more single women understood He always gets it right and be willing to trust His will and His timing.

It’s so important to pray for His wisdom in our dating relationships and when considering marriage. I believe God also uses wise counselors to help us evaluate our relationships in light of God’s word and alert us to red flags we might be blinded to. Seeking wisdom and counsel would save couples from so much heartache down the road.

But all that said, there are no perfect couples or perfect spouses. A good marriage is more about commitment and learning to love biblically. Many marriages in biblical times were arranged and yet the same commands to love one another and all the others applied to them just as they do to us.

Thanks for asking these important questions and always being salt and light in a world that needs it so much! Blessings!
Donna Reidland recently posted…“Flattery Will Get You!” July 27My Profile

Reply

Yvonne Chase July 30, 2018

@Donna,

Thank you for reminding us that there are no perfect couples or perfect spouses.

I believe the pursuit of perfection is what keeps many single and it’s also what destroys marriages.

You’re so right about wise counselors. It’s important to seek them out. Proverbs remind us that in a multitude of counselors, there is safety.
Yvonne Chase recently posted…I Was Called To Marry HIMMy Profile

Reply

Christin August 9, 2018

Everyone’s life’s paths are so different, and we just never know what God has in store for each of us! That is part of the mystery and adventure of serving the Lord, whether single or married. Whatever path He has us on at the time, it is our job to be obedient to Him! Blessings to you, Yvonne, and thanks for linking with #BVN!

Reply

Leave a Comment

CommentLuv badge

{ 1 trackback }

Previous post:

Next post: