Strong Emotional Connection
Earlier today, I participated in an interview about emotional cheating on HuffPost Live. Here’s the blurb that jump started the conversation: “In a recent survey, a surprising number of people considered a strong emotional connection to be cheating. So what really constitutes cheating? And can your spouse’s emotional connection with another person be worst than a physical one?
According to me, cheating is any secret behavior happening outside the marriage that would offend your spouse and put your marriage in danger. Things like secret emails, texts, phone calls and letters, secret dinner and lunch outings, secret meetings at happy hour, secret getaways etc. If you’re hiding anything from your spouse that would breach trust and nullify your marital vows, you are cheating.
Emotional cheating is very dangerous. I believe its the gateway to physical cheating. Sharing your heart with anyone other than your spouse is opening the door to cheating. Its a no-no. Aside from occupational cheaters, I don’t believe anyone sets out to cheat. I don’t believe anyone wakes up and says, “You know what, today would be a great day to cheat on my spouse. Let me go out and make that happen.” I believe people find themselves in situations that evoke cheating. Something was presented to them that they’re not getting in their marriage and they act on it.
He’s Working Late – She’s Working Late
For example, we’ve all heard of affairs that start at work. He’s working late. She’s working late. They’re ordering in while working on a project or stepping out to grab a quick bite. All of a sudden they’re talking and connecting with each other beyond work and the next thing you know, they’re involved in an emotional affair that could lead to a physical affair.
Something Missing At Home
The connection beyond work was able to happen because something was missing for either party at home. Could be the reason both didn’t mind working late. Actress Vivica A. Fox referenced this in the movie Two Can Play That Game when she said, “The number one excuse of a cheating man is, “I was working late.”
Fill Any Holes
According to licensed marriage and family therapist Susan Mandel, PhD, “Men love their spouses, but they don’t know how to fix their relationship problems, so they go outside their marriages to fill any holes. Men want it all and have the skewed notion that another woman will make the longing for something more disappear. Then, they can live happily ever after with their wife–and their mistress–without confronting the real issues.”
Thou shalt not commit adultery. Exodus 20:14
Something to think about…
P.S Women initiate cheating too not just men
What say you? Is emotional cheating worst than physical cheating? What constitutes cheating?
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