She’s Choosy, She’s Picky, She’s Single And She’s Okay

by Yvonne Chase on May 16, 2016

None Of Their Business
The other day on Twitter, the following tweet appeared in my timeline; “How do you convince your family/relatives/friends that you are single by choice and not that you’re choosy or picky?” My response was, why do you have to convince them at all? It’s really none of their business unless they want to play matchmaker.  As I examined the question further, I wondered what’s wrong with being choosy, picky or both? Seems like single people, especially those who have been single for a while ought to just take whatever they can get. No ma’am! 

choosy
This Is Your Life
You’re making the most important decision of your life.  No matter how long you’ve been single, you need to be choosy and picky about whom you allow into your life.  This is your life! Everyone is not a good fit.  You shouldn’t settle for anybody just to have somebody for the sake of your family.  I agree with the writer Christine Infanger who spoke my heart when she said this; “I’m very independent and, as much as I would love to find a partner someday, it’s far more important to me that that person be the right partner than a bunch of wrong ones.”  

Things Of Less Importance
It’s funny how choosy and picky we are about things of less importance.  For example, I remember how choosy and picky I was when I bought my first car. I knew how much I was going to pay and not a penny more. I literally got up and walked out of every dealership who wouldn’t match my price.  I was picky about the color and all of the interior and exterior features.  I was not willing to compromise on anything because what I wanted was what was important to me. Eventually, I got what I wanted just the way I wanted it and I was very happy.

Trying To Fit A Square Peg Into A Round Hole
I recently had a conversation with a gentleman who’s not happy with his girlfriend.  He wants her to workout.  She’s not interested.  He wants to workout.  He wants them to live a healthier lifestyle.  Working out is something he’d like them to do together.  A huge part of his motivation is diabetes which runs in his family. He doesn’t want to go down that path.  He says, “If our relationship continues to progress to the next level, I’d like that to be something our family enjoys. Something we can pass along to our kids. A legacy of health and wellness.”  No matter how he presents it to her, she’s not interested.  I told him to break up with her and find a woman who’s already doing what he desires. Isn’t that much easier than trying to fit a square peg into a round hole? I would be most miserable if I was in his shoes. 

Health Is Wealth
Leading a healthy lifestyle that includes fitness and wellness are super important to me.  They must be important to whomever I date.  Health is wealth.  We have nothing if we don’t have good health.  I take very good care of myself. I’d like the same to be true for him.   He doesn’t have to belong to a gym but exercising and being healthy must be important to him. Thankfully, I’ve always met guys who work out and care about what they put into their bodies.  

Choice Paralysis
There’s nothing wrong with being choosy and or picky.  Perhaps if this gentleman were a bit more choosy and picky, he wouldn’t be in this predicament.  Now, we have to be careful with being choosy and picky. We have a lot to choose from these days and for many, that stops us from choosing. Many of us are suffering from choice paralysis.  While you’re being choosy and or picky, just make sure it’s about the things that really matter; the things that will affect your relationship in the long run and not the things that are subject to change like the car he drives otherwise you might find yourself single for the rest of your days.

sex-and-the-city-single
Something to think about…

What say you? How can a single person properly balance being choosy and picky? Is there something wrong with being choosy and or picky? 

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Christine May 16, 2016

Thanks for the mention, Yvonne – great article! As you can tell from having read some of my thoughts on the subject I don’t understand the inclination to be in a relationship just for the sake of doing it. For me quality over quantity has always been far more important. And I’m the weirdo because of it. That’s okay with me. ;o)

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Yvonne Chase May 16, 2016

@Christine,

We’re both weirdos! I don’t get it either. No part of me wants to be in a relationship just for the sake of it.
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