Christians Do Not Belong On Married At First Sight
April 29, 2017 Marriage

All In
When the TV show Married At First Sight premiered five seasons ago, I was all in. To date, season one has been the best season. Two out of three couples are still married and one of those couples is expecting their first child.  

Great Way To Be Matched
I was so into the show that I wrote about it every week and even decided to sign up for it.  With “experts” involved, I thought it could be a great way to be matched. They didn’t pick me so I guess God has a different plan and I’m glad about it. Here’s a preview:

Dead In My Tracks
While reading the comments on my post, Marriage Works Best When The Man Is Older Than The Woman, Donna Reidland left a comment that stopped me dead in my tracks. While I’ve never met Donna face to face, she is my sister in Christ who writes the truth about marriage and walking with God. She’s an older woman who has taken the command in Titus 2 to heart and she is teaching this younger woman, me, how to live. Here’s what she said that gave me the title for this post:

On a side note, I’m not familiar with the show. If I understood correctly there is an “8-week trial.” Since there are only 2 biblical reasons for divorce, this would make me concerned about Sheila’s level of trust in God if she would be willing to enter into marriage with that option. Admittedly, I haven’t seen the show and may have misunderstood. While it’s a good thing to want to be married, it can also be an idol if we’re willing to sin to have it. Marrying and then divorcing because “it didn’t work out” or “we’re not compatible” would be sin. We need to remember that people in the Bible were often matched and didn’t know each other ahead of time (i.e. Rachel and Jacob, Isaac and Rebekah).

Stay Married Or Divorce
I never thought about it this way until today. Donna is 100% correct. God hates divorce! Ending a marriage because “it didn’t work out” or “we’re not compatible” would be a sin. There’s an out clause in Married At First Sight. Three couples are matched together for eight weeks to live like a married couple. They do everything a married couple does after saying, “I do;” go on a honeymoon, consummate their union, move in together, mesh finances and move on with daily living. After eight weeks, they decide if they want to stay married or divorce.

Wait To Consummate
On the latest episode, they took off for their honeymoons to the Bahamas, St. Croix and St. Thomas. None of the couples consummated their marriage and I’m glad about that choice. As I’ve watched over the years, consummating a marriage with a stranger is not the best idea. As long as there’s an out, he can’t come in which is why I say, wait to consummate. 

A Healthy Marriage
If I had to advise them, I’d say wait until the experiment is completely over and you both decide you really want to stay married. I’d also encourage them to sit with a marriage counselor to decompress from the eight-week experiment and bring them back to reality then get on a good track for a healthy marriage.

Marriage Is Not An Experiment
Here’s the thing that makes this all a ball of confusion; the words “trial” and “experiment” don’t go with marriage and that is why I ultimately do not agree with this show. Once you marry, that’s it. There is no out, no trial and no sneak peak to see if it will work or not. Marriage is not an experiment. It’s a covenant. A covenant is an unbreakable commitment.

Marriage Is An Extraordinary Relationship
In his book, I, Isaac, Take Thee, Rebekah, best-selling author Dr. Ravi Zacharias has a whole lot to say about marriage and uses the story of Rebekah and Isaac as the backdrop.  In closing, I will leave you with his words:

A person makes heaven or hell on earth depending on the one he or she marries. Any married person will agree, with a groan or a smile. Marriage is an extraordinary relationship. It is a commitment from which you dare not take a vacation. It demands nurture and care, and like a tender shoot, the better the care, the better the blossom. But to be sure, it is hard work. Marriage is Gods idea, and he alone has the right to define how it is meant to be. Sooner or later we all come to the realization that only when we do marriage God’s way do we reap the benefits. When we do marriage our way, we damage his intent and pay the price.

Something to think about…

What say you? Do Christians belong on Married At First Sight? Since people are no longer meeting in traditional ways, is this a good way for Christians to be matched in marriage? 

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"12" Comments
  1. I haven’t heard of this show either. Sounds like an interesting concept, but yeah, not sure it’s fruitful. Love your statement here: “As long as there’s an out, he can’t come in which is why I say, wait to consummate.”
    Lisa notes recently posted…Links, Books, and Things I Love – May 2017My Profile

    • @Lisa,

      While I learn a lot from this show, ultimately, I don’t see it as fruitful. Even though they say it’s a legally binding marriage, is it, if the option to divorce after 8 weeks is on the table?

      It would be more fruitful if divorce were not an option and the couples went into one-on-one marital counseling once the experiment is over to ensure they honor the vows they spoke.
      Yvonne Chase recently posted…Marriage Works Best When The Man Is Older Than The WomanMy Profile

  2. Hi Yvonne,

    I was surprised when I saw your title and had to stop by. I know your post took a lot of courage. You always impress me with your teachable spirit and your enthusiasm for God and His Word! You will be a wonderful blessing to the man God brings your way in due season!
    Donna Reidland recently posted…“Responding to Persecution, Criticism & Rejection” May 1My Profile

  3. @Donna,

    Thank you for the inspiration to write this post. Your comment gave me all the courage I needed. It literally stopped me in my tracks and opened my eyes to something I didn’t see.

    I look forward to being a wonderful blessing to the man God has for me and I look forward to doing ministry with him…Thanks so much for your support, kindness, and love.
    Yvonne Chase recently posted…Marriage Will Distract And Deter You If You Don’t Want To Be MarriedMy Profile

  4. You present some really solid points here! I am so fascinated by the show, and the concept of marriage as an experiment. Thanks for a great post
    Christa s sterken recently posted…What is it like to have an invisible illness, and how can I help?My Profile

  5. @Christa,

    The show is fascinating, however, I don’t like the whole experiment of marriage. Nothing experimental about marriage.

    Funny how their theme song is it’s all or nothing. Is it all or nothing when there’s an out?
    Yvonne Chase recently posted…Marriage Works Best When The Man Is Older Than The WomanMy Profile

  6. Good morning!
    I have not heard of the show, and from what I have read, honestly it is not one I’d watch because they have taken something scared, marriage, and made it into a game of sorts. Marriage is a gift from God, and takes a life time to develop, we are not perfect and when you unite two imperfect people in marriage, things go wrong, but that is where faith and trust in God come in.
    I am visiting you today from Cheerleaders of Faith link up! God bless you

  7. @Jennifer,

    You are absolutely right; they have taken something sacred and turned it into a game of sorts. I watch and write because how else will people know the truth when lies are so rampant?

    We, as Christians, have a responsibility to speak up and stand up for righteousness. This is my way of defending marriage and Gods plan for marriage.

    I wish more people realized marriage takes a lifetime to develop. If they did, perhaps we wouldn’t think we chose wrong or jump ship at the first sign of trouble. And you’re right, that is why we need God. That is where faith and trust come in…
    Yvonne Chase recently posted…Marriage Will Distract And Deter You If You Don’t Want To Be MarriedMy Profile

  8. Hi Yvonne! This goes to show that the world neither knows nor cares about God’s way when it comes to relationships and marriage. Why not be in a relationship and then decide if you want to get married after a while? Why the rush to move in together and live as a married couple? Why the rush to consummate relationships? Why base everything on feelings which change every so often? #smh #SittingAmongFriends

  9. @Edith,

    And that is why I write; the world does not know about Gods way when it comes to marriage. Someone has to let the standard be known even if no one follows it.

    The more I watch this show, the more I see how ridiculous it is. Here it is you marry a stranger and all of a sudden you have to act like his wife. You have to sleep with him in the same bed on your honeymoon night when you literally just met. Who does that? I wouldn’t do it!

    Heck, you can’t come into my home if I literally just met you!
    Yvonne Chase recently posted…He’s Your Son Not Your Surrogate HusbandMy Profile

  10. I wouldn’t go on the show but would consider a Christian dating site where they match you with appropriate dates. I would need to go through the initial process before I made my final decision and actually went on any dates. I recognize the difficulty nowadays for meeting people likeminded but that show seems too worldly a way to go about it from what little I know about it. It would be a personal choice for each person.

  11. Pingback: Change Your Last Name To His Last Name When You Say I Do — Yvonne Chase

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