Communicate, Wear Sexy Panties And Let Him Lead

by Yvonne Chase on December 23, 2015

How To Get What You Want
So it’s week 3 of #BlackLove and the topic is how to get what you want in a relationship.  The expert says you get what you want through communication.  All bets are off if you can’t communicate. Tone; how we say what we say plus our level of vulnerability and openness helps us get what we want in relationships.  Question, are you ready to be in a committed relationship if you can’t confidently communicate your feelings, wants and needs?

It’s About Teaching Not Training
Tennesha says like a dog, you need to train men to get what you want. Jack, the expert says we teach people how to treat us.  It’s about teaching, not training.  Big difference! Huge! No man wants to be trained. Jae thinks the older a man is, the less he needs to be trained; the more refined he is which is why she prefers to date older men.  It makes sense to believe that’s true because I mean, we expect a boy to behave like a child when he’s a child then put those childish ways behind when he becomes a man, but that doesn’t always happen.  LaRee was tasked with revealing her true feelings to Karl. She thought showing her feelings is enough.  It’s not.  Men need to hear how we feel.  Furthermore, you want to tell him how you feel to avoid any sort of misinterpretation of your actions.

All The Way Down To Her Panties
Tennesha’s assignment was to dress more girly all the way down to her panties and let Errol take the lead. Something about wearing sexy lingerie/panties makes a woman feel and act more feminine.  Instead of trying to train Errol, she needs to communicate clearly and confidently her wants and needs.  Her masculine energy is strong; sometimes too strong.  I believe the longer a woman is single, the stronger her masculine energy.  What do you believe? I know that to be true for me.  I’ve been single a long time.  My masculine energy is strong; my overall energy is strong…sometimes I feel like a man in a woman’s body however, I do know how to be soft and pink and let a man lead, with or without panties.  Ha!

Separation Equals Still Married
Cynthia, whose been separated 8 months and hasn’t been on a date in 8 years was tasked with going on a first date. It’s her test run to get her feet wet again.  Her date, Lael was a jerk! Why do they keep putting jerkish black men on TV? If you watched, I don’t know what you saw but I saw a woman with an attitude and not a good one.  I saw a woman that doesn’t want to be bothered.  That’s not good energy to put out on a first date.  The date was awkward because her separation came up and needed to be explained.  I don’t know about you, but I don’t think you should be dating until you are fully divorced. Separation equals still married; you’re not available.  How about closing one chapter before opening another? Cynthia could use this time to work on her nerves, get her energy in check and get herself back to a place of wholeness so that when her divorce is finalized, she is ready to hit the ground running with no hindrances.  At the end of the date, Cynthia questioned her readiness.  You’re not ready Cynthia and that’s okay.

You Have To Communicate About Everything
Watching #BlackLove for me last night confirmed how I’ve often felt; like an alien in a foreign land.  Outside of the masculine energy conversations, I couldn’t relate to any of it.  I have zero issue expressing my feelings, especially in relationships.  You have to communicate…about everything! Going on first dates is exciting to me. I look forward to meeting new people especially men.  Men are fascinating! There’s always lots to talk about and lots of laughter.  I’ve never had a bad first date…ever.  Dating for me has always been fun even if he’s not the one.

Something to think about…

What say you? Are you ready to be in a relationship if you can’t confidently communicate your feelings, wants and needs? Does a woman’s masculine energy increase the longer she’s single? Is it okay to date while separated or is it better to wait until the divorce is final?

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