Daddy’s Little Girls

by Yvonne Chase on April 13, 2011

Fathers and daughters need each other.   A dad can give a daughter a special confidence and sense of her own value in a very special way.   A strong father/daughter bond helps a daughter navigate through the many tough challenges of the teenage years and early adulthood.  Kevin Rudd, Prime Minister of Australia

While reading the blogs this morning, I ran across a recent interview with Halle Berry and The Sun magazine.   In the interview she talks about her mistakes in love.

She confessed; I WISH I had known then that I was not the marrying kind.   It would have saved me a lot of time, heartache and grief over the years.  I made all the wrong choices when it came to love.  I have been an idiot. But, now, it is like a gift to myself – seeing more clearly and making better decisions. One thing was unavoidable. My father left us when I was young and that did affect my life.   If I had a good father in my life, growing up, then I do not think I would have made the mistakes I made.   I would not have been lost in love.  I would have had a good role model and known what to look for.

Stories like Halle’s are why fathers are so important to daughters.  It breaks my heart to hear the rising statistics of children born into broken homes.  Ideally, children need to see both mother and father working together, loving each other while raising them in a supportive environment.  Fathers are a girl’s first example of a man and boys learn how to be men from their fathers.

Daughter’s expectations of how she should be treated by a man and what she deserves from a man are picked up by what she sees her mother accepting and receiving from her father.  When a father is absent or abusive, more times than not daughters tend to attract the same type of man into her life or she looks for a good father figure in every man she chooses.  Halle is 100% correct; fathers show us what to look for in a mate.  I thank God everyday for my dad and his excellent example of a husband and father.

As I’ve watched Halle’s love life unfold over the years, I have always said it would be different if she had a better example of a father.  I’m glad she’s finally come to realize the root cause of her poor choices.  If she were to work out the details and experience complete healing in this major area of her life, I believe she would enjoy marriage the way she’s always wanted to.

So my dear Halle, while you’ve made some bad choices (who hasn’t) you have not been an idiot.  You were simply a woman doing the best you could with the information you received.  Perhaps it took you a little longer to realize it but now you do.  I commend you for the courage to speak on it.

Hopefully you will share your new found wisdom with your daughter and as she grows up she will make better choices and break the cycle that has plagued you for so many years.  As long as we are alive and breathing, we have a chance to get it right.  Now is your chance.

Something to think about…

© Copyright 2011-2012, Yvonne Chase. All rights reserved.

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Anonymous April 13, 2011

Thankfully my 16 year old Daughter is not “boy crazy” so I’m not quite sure yet what type of boy she will be attracted to. I am praying that she is smarter than I was and learns from my mistakes as I share almost everything with my Daughter about my past experiences. Her Dad whom I like to call “donor” is just that. He is not an active Father in her life and his sorry excuses are… “well, my parents didn’t show me love”. Or… “I didn’t grow up like that”. Or… “I don’t know how”. When she was younger it affected her so much but now that she has matured and is growing up so beautifully she realizes how he truly is. She cares but doesn’t care. She still longs for that Daddy – Daughter relationship but her attitude is not the same about it because I believe she has brushed her shoulders off and has just accepted it. She has always had great male role models in her life (my Dad and my 3 brothers) which I am truly grateful for. I just hope she continues to develop into this beautiful young lady that she is who makes the right choices and knows her worth.

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Yvonne Chase April 13, 2011

Dear Anonymous,

Thanks so much for your heartfelt sharing. As long as you continue to share everything with your and paint her dad in a good light no matter how bad he is, I believe she will be fine. I see many mothers making the mistake of bad talking their “donors” in the presence of their children and this does not paint a good picture at all.

Godspeed to you and your daughter.

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